Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who was not in a relationship until she was 35, and ended up marrying that guy. She was stunningly beautiful, very thin, an amazing cook, educated and worldly (spoke several languages), and just the loveliest person to be around. The reason she didn’t have relationships? She was an avowed gold digger and refused to go on even a second date unless the guy was Mr. Moneybags and looking for a wife who would never have to work, regardless of whether they had kids.

And she finally met him and married him and seems very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is 49 and has never been in a relationship. She's lovely, smart, educated and makes a ton of money as a law partner.

In her case she basically spent her 20s and 30s working long hours. When it seems like marriage and kids wasn't going to happen she started working even more.

She also grew up in the christian church and was told that she should only marry within the faith. That limits the potential dating pool significantly. Yes, she could have made her own life decisions as a adult but even highly intelligent people have a hard time changing course on things like religious teachings.

I assume she's mostly been single by choice because the majority of women will always have options or will always have suitors in their life.

A very unexpected thread this is because women have always been on the receiving end of sexual attention so women are always less at risk than men are at reaching a certain age or a certain decade and always having been alone or never having been with anyone.

This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people. Women and men both can have unrealistic expectations of what a partner should be like, and thus, refuse to date someone who is not “perfect.”

The woman I know in this situation is looking for someone who agrees with her every opinion and particularly her political beliefs. She cannot tolerate any point at all of disagreement. She tells people who express a different opinion from hers that they are “fighting” or “arguing” with her and she cuts off relationships with them. She has unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is like; a man could have similarly unrealistic expectations and so end up alone.

Lots of reasons why someone might not have a partner and they apply pretty equally to both men and women.

[Anonymous]

"This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people."

That will always affect men more than women due to how for all time men are still expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators, women still normally never approach men or ask men out.

But yeah seriously a woman who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 35 which was mentioned up above?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people."

That will always affect men more than women due to how for all time men are still expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators, women still normally never approach men or ask men out.

But yeah seriously a woman who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 35 which was mentioned up above?

Where do you live and how old are you that you believe that “men are still expected to make the first move”?

That is not at all my experience or that of many people I know.

[Anonymous]

If a woman has a low libido and does not necessarily want kids ( have some friends who would have kids if they met the right guy but are okay nit having them), what does she need a romantic relationship with a man for?

Women make better close friends, so she is all set with her girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

You can be everything as a woman but if you also a nerd or introvert you will have a hard time meeting high end men to date and marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people."

That will always affect men more than women due to how for all time men are still expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators, women still normally never approach men or ask men out.

But yeah seriously a woman who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 35 which was mentioned up above?

Where do you live and how old are you that you believe that “men are still expected to make the first move”?

That is not at all my experience or that of many people I know.

How so? There is no denying the fact that the vast majority of heterosexual relationships are together because the man asked the woman out, the man did the pursuing or approaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people."

That will always affect men more than women due to how for all time men are still expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators, women still normally never approach men or ask men out.

But yeah seriously a woman who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 35 which was mentioned up above?

Where do you live and how old are you that you believe that “men are still expected to make the first move”?

That is not at all my experience or that of many people I know.

How so? There is no denying the fact that the vast majority of heterosexual relationships are together because the man asked the woman out, the man did the pursuing or approaching.

I don't think this is true at all anymore.

[Anonymous]

This thread is funny.

Look around you, folks. See all the misogyny? See the typical 80/20 division of household labor and childcare in the majority or marriages? See the rates of infidelity and divorce? See the rates of domestic violence and spousal murder?

The bigger question is, why are so many women still getting married or cohabiting with men?

I did serious research into this issue in my mid 30s when I began to realize I would likely never marry. Across history something like 10% of women have chosen to remain single their entire lives and often also childless. If you ask me, these women are the smartest ones. If I could do my life over, I would eliminate all the relationships I did have, because they were ultimately 90% not beneficial to my development and mental health.

Yeah I know, I’m a misandrist. 🙄

But I’m not. I loved being with men sexually and there is much that I like about men - but I could never get with the inequality thing. Even the nicest guys seemed to expect to lay about while I kept the house and managed our social and family lives. Within weeks or months of seeing this reality, I would lose all attraction for a guy I had previously found very attractive. My BS tolerance is just very very low.

My theory about these women who have avoided relationships entirely is that they paid close attention and opted out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This is not true at all. Women and men both may be shy or simply not good at meeting and getting to know other people."

That will always affect men more than women due to how for all time men are still expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators, women still normally never approach men or ask men out.

But yeah seriously a woman who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 35 which was mentioned up above?

Where do you live and how old are you that you believe that “men are still expected to make the first move”?

That is not at all my experience or that of many people I know.

How so? There is no denying the fact that the vast majority of heterosexual relationships are together because the man asked the woman out, the man did the pursuing or approaching.

I don't think this is true at all anymore.

Well I don't really ever hear or notice women who approach men or ask men out, women who are the initiators when forming a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 35 and have never been in a LTR.

I have severe anxiety over sex and I go to therapy. Psychotherapy and sex therapy now that I can use my insurance for it. I’m not asexual, I do have strong sexual desires for certain men who have been in my life but I have severe and I mean SEVERE anxiety over physical intimacy, sexual intercourse and pain, and anything sex-related with a new partner and it has gotten worse, not better, as I age.

What's the longest you ever dated someone

[Anonymous]

Well I found a case of a woman in an article from this past February and another unexpected case:
https://www.yourtango.com/heartbreak/40-never-had-boyfriend?fbclid=IwAR3Vv8IZgtjy3BM_AZZ5L_N0mutaiUfym1mxeKLX_HPc2PojrKxVspzSEy4

But yeah there's no denying the fact that men are still normally expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators and take the lead all the time.

I know I'm not the only guy in the world that has always hated and resented that gender dynamic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My theory about these women who have avoided relationships entirely is that they paid close attention and opted out.

highly doubt that . But whatever the reasons may be, it's a HUGE red flag. It is often said here for any man 35+ who has never been in a [serious] relationship, the reasoning of why are not important - just the fact.

[Anonymous]

I was 31 when I started my first real relationship. I had no fear of dating, was fine making friends, and turned down opportunities to date all the time. I just wanted to enjoy single life! I knew that once I got into a serious relationship, I want to get married and have kids, and kids and marriage are work!

Looking back, I'm glad I had that single time. I had a chance to figure out the kind of partner I was looking for, just be being the single friend who listened to all my friends' relationship dramas and helped them through. When I was finally ready to leave the single life, it was easy to find someone. This was 10 yrs ago, so maybe the it would be the same if I waited until 35 now? Not sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I found a case of a woman in an article from this past February and another unexpected case:
https://www.yourtango.com/heartbreak/40-never-had-boyfriend?fbclid=IwAR3Vv8IZgtjy3BM_AZZ5L_N0mutaiUfym1mxeKLX_HPc2PojrKxVspzSEy4

But yeah there's no denying the fact that men are still normally expected to make the first move and ask the woman out and be the initiators and take the lead all the time.

I know I'm not the only guy in the world that has always hated and resented that gender dynamic

None of my relationships were I was equally vested as a man at courting stage worked. Men quickly loose interest if the woman texts, calls and invites him out at par with himself. She instantly devalues herself and he moves to a “higher” target