Sorority recruitment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DD’s school, the girls pull up a picture, discuss the pros and cons of the girl and then vote. My DD was dropped by the top houses and then the next week gets pulled aside to hear from “friends” that are members of these sororities what the specific pros and cons that were raised about her and also who said it. She also heard how so very sorry they were she was cut. Guess what? She is ready to transfer and is struggling with her mental health A LOT after this experience.

WTH is wrong with those "friends"?!?!?

Seriously, anyone who think telling someone this are so screwed up and just not good people.

I hope your DD can find the help she needs, and yes transfer if needed. Nobody needs to be around people like that.

Thank you. It is easy for us as confident, experienced 45-55 year old women to say to our daughters, “ignore them” and “you are amazing it doesn’t matter what these girls say.” However, it is really hard for an 18 or 19 year girl to hear these things from their peers. The comments weren’t even THAT bad, but they still did a number on my daughter. Even if the “friends” had not told her the specifics, they still know what is going on during voting and can imagine the comments about their personality, whether they are boring, pretty, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole rush process is demented. I don't know about SLACs, but I went to UGA 30 years ago, and it was bad then. From what I hear from friend's kids, social media has not made it better/

My DC is at my alma mater (where I was in a sorority) and I can conclusively say that social media has made the entire process much worse. This school (not Bama!) has had some students with fairly high social media profiles and the number of women going out for rush and having their hearts set on the “top” houses has ballooned. What used to be just an informal, niche, rumor mill kind of “ranking” system has become very entrenched and documented on the internet/social media and now everyone thinks they’re a failure if they don’t pledge XYZ house. That thing about having a bid for everyone? Doesn’t work that way anymore. Too many girls. It’s kind of interesting — the boys seem unaffected by it and, if anything, less interested in frats. Guys are still rushing, but numbers are down, and plenty of guys are looking at the pledge process (hazing) and saying “no thanks.” Social media ruins everything.

Agree. At my DD’s school, rush for the girls was the miserable, one bid nightmare the girls fear. Run by a grad student who didn’t care about the girls’ experiences at all. They didn’t open enough spaces for the increased enrollment to intentionally force the one unpopular house to grow, counting on all those one bid girls to settle instead of quit: USING those girls, their first college experience, and their emotions to reach their goals of saving that house.

The boys on the other hand just dirty rush, no formal recruitment. So laid back.

Immature women just love to hurt other women and rush lets them pick “winners” and “losers” and continuing the hierarchy that they claim doesn’t exist but secretly love and take pride in. And all of this misery is endorsed by the school and the directors of recruitment. At this school, it got so bad that mothers were telling their girls to go to a different state U of they wanted to rush.

All schools give girls one bid.

Another my daughter was too good for the sorority she gotten into so the system is judgmental and superficial, but my kid is not post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be going to a small liberal arts school. She's interested in joining a sorority. Do some schools have a safe haven sorority or can you be shut out entirely? She's very quiet and shy. She has a hard time making friends so thinks this will be a good idea to have a way to meet more people but I'm not sure that's how rush works. Thoughts?

Sororities can be very selective. Make sure she pursues all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DD’s school, the girls pull up a picture, discuss the pros and cons of the girl and then vote. My DD was dropped by the top houses and then the next week gets pulled aside to hear from “friends” that are members of these sororities what the specific pros and cons that were raised about her and also who said it. She also heard how so very sorry they were she was cut. Guess what? She is ready to transfer and is struggling with her mental health A LOT after this experience.

WTH is wrong with those "friends"?!?!?

Seriously, anyone who think telling someone this are so screwed up and just not good people.

I hope your DD can find the help she needs, and yes transfer if needed. Nobody needs to be around people like that.

Thank you. It is easy for us as confident, experienced 45-55 year old women to say to our daughters, “ignore them” and “you are amazing it doesn’t matter what these girls say.” However, it is really hard for an 18 or 19 year girl to hear these things from their peers. The comments weren’t even THAT bad, but they still did a number on my daughter. Even if the “friends” had not told her the specifics, they still know what is going on during voting and can imagine the comments about their personality, whether they are boring, pretty, etc.

Seems like the issue was mostly her “friend”

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately girls are cruel and seem to delight in it. Whether in a sorority or out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole rush process is demented. I don't know about SLACs, but I went to UGA 30 years ago, and it was bad then. From what I hear from friend's kids, social media has not made it better/

My DC is at my alma mater (where I was in a sorority) and I can conclusively say that social media has made the entire process much worse. This school (not Bama!) has had some students with fairly high social media profiles and the number of women going out for rush and having their hearts set on the “top” houses has ballooned. What used to be just an informal, niche, rumor mill kind of “ranking” system has become very entrenched and documented on the internet/social media and now everyone thinks they’re a failure if they don’t pledge XYZ house. That thing about having a bid for everyone? Doesn’t work that way anymore. Too many girls. It’s kind of interesting — the boys seem unaffected by it and, if anything, less interested in frats. Guys are still rushing, but numbers are down, and plenty of guys are looking at the pledge process (hazing) and saying “no thanks.” Social media ruins everything.

Agree. At my DD’s school, rush for the girls was the miserable, one bid nightmare the girls fear. Run by a grad student who didn’t care about the girls’ experiences at all. They didn’t open enough spaces for the increased enrollment to intentionally force the one unpopular house to grow, counting on all those one bid girls to settle instead of quit: USING those girls, their first college experience, and their emotions to reach their goals of saving that house.

The boys on the other hand just dirty rush, no formal recruitment. So laid back.

Immature women just love to hurt other women and rush lets them pick “winners” and “losers” and continuing the hierarchy that they claim doesn’t exist but secretly love and take pride in. And all of this misery is endorsed by the school and the directors of recruitment. At this school, it got so bad that mothers were telling their girls to go to a different state U of they wanted to rush.

All schools give girls one bid.

Another my daughter was too good for the sorority she gotten into so the system is judgmental and superficial, but my kid is not post.

I assume you’re a 20 year old sorority girl so I’m not not going to be rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately girls are cruel and seem to delight in it. Whether in a sorority or out.

And some don’t outgrow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole rush process is demented. I don't know about SLACs, but I went to UGA 30 years ago, and it was bad then. From what I hear from friend's kids, social media has not made it better/

My DC is at my alma mater (where I was in a sorority) and I can conclusively say that social media has made the entire process much worse. This school (not Bama!) has had some students with fairly high social media profiles and the number of women going out for rush and having their hearts set on the “top” houses has ballooned. What used to be just an informal, niche, rumor mill kind of “ranking” system has become very entrenched and documented on the internet/social media and now everyone thinks they’re a failure if they don’t pledge XYZ house. That thing about having a bid for everyone? Doesn’t work that way anymore. Too many girls. It’s kind of interesting — the boys seem unaffected by it and, if anything, less interested in frats. Guys are still rushing, but numbers are down, and plenty of guys are looking at the pledge process (hazing) and saying “no thanks.” Social media ruins everything.

Agree. At my DD’s school, rush for the girls was the miserable, one bid nightmare the girls fear. Run by a grad student who didn’t care about the girls’ experiences at all. They didn’t open enough spaces for the increased enrollment to intentionally force the one unpopular house to grow, counting on all those one bid girls to settle instead of quit: USING those girls, their first college experience, and their emotions to reach their goals of saving that house.

The boys on the other hand just dirty rush, no formal recruitment. So laid back.

Immature women just love to hurt other women and rush lets them pick “winners” and “losers” and continuing the hierarchy that they claim doesn’t exist but secretly love and take pride in. And all of this misery is endorsed by the school and the directors of recruitment. At this school, it got so bad that mothers were telling their girls to go to a different state U of they wanted to rush.

All schools give girls one bid.

Another my daughter was too good for the sorority she gotten into so the system is judgmental and superficial, but my kid is not post.

I assume you’re a 20 year old sorority girl so I’m not not going to be rude.

Why would you assume that? Of course, I am not. I just find it amusing that a bunch of adults complaining about how their daughter was too good for the bid they received lack the self awareness to see that this is in fact a superficial and judgmental complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole rush process is demented. I don't know about SLACs, but I went to UGA 30 years ago, and it was bad then. From what I hear from friend's kids, social media has not made it better/

My DC is at my alma mater (where I was in a sorority) and I can conclusively say that social media has made the entire process much worse. This school (not Bama!) has had some students with fairly high social media profiles and the number of women going out for rush and having their hearts set on the “top” houses has ballooned. What used to be just an informal, niche, rumor mill kind of “ranking” system has become very entrenched and documented on the internet/social media and now everyone thinks they’re a failure if they don’t pledge XYZ house. That thing about having a bid for everyone? Doesn’t work that way anymore. Too many girls. It’s kind of interesting — the boys seem unaffected by it and, if anything, less interested in frats. Guys are still rushing, but numbers are down, and plenty of guys are looking at the pledge process (hazing) and saying “no thanks.” Social media ruins everything.

Agree. At my DD’s school, rush for the girls was the miserable, one bid nightmare the girls fear. Run by a grad student who didn’t care about the girls’ experiences at all. They didn’t open enough spaces for the increased enrollment to intentionally force the one unpopular house to grow, counting on all those one bid girls to settle instead of quit: USING those girls, their first college experience, and their emotions to reach their goals of saving that house.

The boys on the other hand just dirty rush, no formal recruitment. So laid back.

Immature women just love to hurt other women and rush lets them pick “winners” and “losers” and continuing the hierarchy that they claim doesn’t exist but secretly love and take pride in. And all of this misery is endorsed by the school and the directors of recruitment. At this school, it got so bad that mothers were telling their girls to go to a different state U of they wanted to rush.

All schools give girls one bid.

Another my daughter was too good for the sorority she gotten into so the system is judgmental and superficial, but my kid is not post.

I assume you’re a 20 year old sorority girl so I’m not not going to be rude.

Why would you assume that? Of course, I am not. I just find it amusing that a bunch of adults complaining about how their daughter was too good for the bid they received lack the self awareness to see that this is in fact a superficial and judgmental complaint.

You see what you want to see, Lindsay. Your ears and heart are closed. Yes, you sound like a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Dumb question: is it always the case that girls get one bid and one bid only? Or is it possible to receive multiple bids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dumb question: is it always the case that girls get one bid and one bid only? Or is it possible to receive multiple bids?

Different schools are different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dumb question: is it always the case that girls get one bid and one bid only? Or is it possible to receive multiplebids?

Different schools are different

That isn’t right. It is never possible to get more than one bid. The actual match works the same at every school.

There are sone claiming there are schools where girls go all the way through rush and receive no bid because so many girls rush. That may be possible but generally, if a girl is invited to at least one sorority on the final night and lists all the sororities to which they were invited to that night on their match list, they will get a bid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dumb question: is it always the case that girls get one bid and one bid only? Or is it possible to receive multiple bids?

They typically get three. Then they rank those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole rush process is demented. I don't know about SLACs, but I went to UGA 30 years ago, and it was bad then. From what I hear from friend's kids, social media has not made it better/

My DC is at my alma mater (where I was in a sorority) and I can conclusively say that social media has made the entire process much worse. This school (not Bama!) has had some students with fairly high social media profiles and the number of women going out for rush and having their hearts set on the “top” houses has ballooned. What used to be just an informal, niche, rumor mill kind of “ranking” system has become very entrenched and documented on the internet/social media and now everyone thinks they’re a failure if they don’t pledge XYZ house. That thing about having a bid for everyone? Doesn’t work that way anymore. Too many girls. It’s kind of interesting — the boys seem unaffected by it and, if anything, less interested in frats. Guys are still rushing, but numbers are down, and plenty of guys are looking at the pledge process (hazing) and saying “no thanks.” Social media ruins everything.

Agree. At my DD’s school, rush for the girls was the miserable, one bid nightmare the girls fear. Run by a grad student who didn’t care about the girls’ experiences at all. They didn’t open enough spaces for the increased enrollment to intentionally force the one unpopular house to grow, counting on all those one bid girls to settle instead of quit: USING those girls, their first college experience, and their emotions to reach their goals of saving that house.

The boys on the other hand just dirty rush, no formal recruitment. So laid back.

Immature women just love to hurt other women and rush lets them pick “winners” and “losers” and continuing the hierarchy that they claim doesn’t exist but secretly love and take pride in. And all of this misery is endorsed by the school and the directors of recruitment. At this school, it got so bad that mothers were telling their girls to go to a different state U of they wanted to rush.

All schools give girls one bid.

Another my daughter was too good for the sorority she gotten into so the system is judgmental and superficial, but my kid is not post.

I assume you’re a 20 year old sorority girl so I’m not not going to be rude.

Why would you assume that? Of course, I am not. I just find it amusing that a bunch of adults complaining about how their daughter was too good for the bid they received lack the self awareness to see that this is in fact a superficial and judgmental complaint.

You see what you want to see, Lindsay. Your ears and heart are closed. Yes, you sound like a teenager.

Again, the lack of self awareness is really something, I’m not the one who sounds like the teenager in this exchange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DD’s school, the girls pull up a picture, discuss the pros and cons of the girl and then vote. My DD was dropped by the top houses and then the next week gets pulled aside to hear from “friends” that are members of these sororities what the specific pros and cons that were raised about her and also who said it. She also heard how so very sorry they were she was cut. Guess what? She is ready to transfer and is struggling with her mental health A LOT after this experience.

WTH is wrong with those "friends"?!?!?

Seriously, anyone who think telling someone this are so screwed up and just not good people.

I hope your DD can find the help she needs, and yes transfer if needed. Nobody needs to be around people like that.

Thank you. It is easy for us as confident, experienced 45-55 year old women to say to our daughters, “ignore them” and “you are amazing it doesn’t matter what these girls say.” However, it is really hard for an 18 or 19 year girl to hear these things from their peers. The comments weren’t even THAT bad, but they still did a number on my daughter. Even if the “friends” had not told her the specifics, they still know what is going on during voting and can imagine the comments about their personality, whether they are boring, pretty, etc.

Seems like the issue was mostly her “friend”

Fact is that the process is not healthy for most people. Females can be so judgy and 18 yo adjusting to college do not need to be told they are boring, not pretty enough, not fun enough, not right for our house, etc after a 5 min talk with 3-4 girls. We know this happens at many houses on many campuses. Yes, I am sure there are some where it doesn't happen, but be realistic, it happens more often than not. I don't want my kid to be judged on a "speed date meeting" of 5 mins. That's not how normal people select friends. I certainly don't select my friends based on how they look or dress or cars they drive, etc. I get to know them and over time find their true personality. Someone who is superficial doesn't make it in my group of friends because we are nice people and try to treat everyone decently, even if they aren't our best friends (and I have seen plenty who are superficial---my one kid did competitive dance---you see a lot of that along the way)