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College and University Discussion
Reply to "Sorority recruitment"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At my DD’s school, the girls pull up a picture, discuss the pros and cons of the girl and then vote. My DD was dropped by the top houses and then the next week gets pulled aside to hear from “friends” that are members of these sororities what the specific pros and cons that were raised about her and also who said it. She also heard how so very sorry they were she was cut. Guess what? She is ready to transfer and is struggling with her mental health A LOT after this experience.[/quote] WTH is wrong with those "friends"?!?!? Seriously, anyone who think telling someone this are so screwed up and just not good people. I hope your DD can find the help she needs, and yes transfer if needed. Nobody needs to be around people like that.[/quote] Thank you. It is easy for us as confident, experienced 45-55 year old women to say to our daughters, “ignore them” and “you are amazing it doesn’t matter what these girls say.” However, it is really hard for an 18 or 19 year girl to hear these things from their peers. The comments weren’t even THAT bad, but they still did a number on my daughter. Even if the “friends” had not told her the specifics, they still know what is going on during voting and can imagine the comments about their personality, whether they are boring, pretty, etc. [/quote] Seems like the issue was mostly her “friend”[/quote] Fact is that the process is not healthy for most people. Females can be so judgy and 18 yo adjusting to college do not need to be told they are boring, not pretty enough, not fun enough, not right for our house, etc after a 5 min talk with 3-4 girls. We know this happens at many houses on many campuses. Yes, I am sure there are some where it doesn't happen, but be realistic, it happens more often than not. I don't want my kid to be judged on a "speed date meeting" of 5 mins. That's not how normal people select friends. I certainly don't select my friends based on how they look or dress or cars they drive, etc. I get to know them and over time find their true personality. Someone who is superficial doesn't make it in my group of friends because we are nice people and try to treat everyone decently, even if they aren't our best friends (and I have seen plenty who are superficial---my one kid did competitive dance---you see a lot of that along the way)[/quote]
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