Sorority recruitment

[Anonymous]

My daughter will be going to a small liberal arts school. She's interested in joining a sorority. Do some schools have a safe haven sorority or can you be shut out entirely? She's very quiet and shy. She has a hard time making friends so thinks this will be a good idea to have a way to meet more people but I'm not sure that's how rush works. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be going to a small liberal arts school. She's interested in joining a sorority. Do some schools have a safe haven sorority or can you be shut out entirely? She's very quiet and shy. She has a hard time making friends so thinks this will be a good idea to have a way to meet more people but I'm not sure that's how rush works. Thoughts?

At most schools, no you can’t be shut out entirely. If the kid follows the process and doesn’t turn down invites, they will get a bid. Not an expert of every school but that is how it’s been for awhile now. There is also always a catch all type house where pretty much anyone (barring those kicked out of rush for poor behavior) can get a bid. I also went to a small liberal arts school and was quiet and shy and absolutely loved my sorority experience.

[Anonymous]

At my dd school (Towson) everyone gets a bid somewhere, it may not be what the girl wants, but it’s put through some computer matching/ranking system. Just remind your daughter to go where she is wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be going to a small liberal arts school. She's interested in joining a sorority. Do some schools have a safe haven sorority or can you be shut out entirely? She's very quiet and shy. She has a hard time making friends so thinks this will be a good idea to have a way to meet more people but I'm not sure that's how rush works. Thoughts?

At most schools, no you can’t be shut out entirely. If the kid follows the process and doesn’t turn down invites, they will get a bid. Not an expert of every school but that is how it’s been for awhile now. There is also always a catch all type house where pretty much anyone (barring those kicked out of rush for poor behavior) can get a bid. I also went to a small liberal arts school and was quiet and shy and absolutely loved my sorority experience.

Just wanted to echo this note. The process is designed so that you will get a bid (think algorithms), but you have to follow the process. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The rush process always has a chance of someone getting shut out. It happens and it is not fun. My daughter was shut out as a freshman, but then got a spot later in the year through "open bidding". My advice is to take it one thing at a time and not worry in advance. Help your DD to know that she is awesome and can have friends regardless of whether, when or how she joins.

[Anonymous]

OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

[Anonymous]

Definitely advise her to be herself and be open to the process. I am a firm believer that rush works better if you give yourself over to it and try not to give into preconceived notions.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the school. A SLAC is usually much better experience. It’s ok as long as she understands and is ok with maybe only getting a bid from the newest house on campus that has no interest and therefore gets whoever is left to build their numbers. And if she just wants a social outlet, this is still a great choice. If you live in the south, or if she’s under pressure from high school friends and their mothers about certain sororities then I 100% do not recommend. If her school does a spring rush, the whole process is more humane but very few girls actually enjoy rush.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I really appreciate the feedback.

[Anonymous]

Girls get shut out if they don't accept invites from less popular houses. My daughter has lots of friends that didn't get into a house because they turned down what they perceived as lesser houses at different steps in the process. At her school, about 25% of the girls that start rush end up in a house. Most girls drop at one of the steps if they don't get a house they want. About 1/5 of the houses do not get the numbers that they want, one is likely losing its charter because it can't meet required numbers.
I know it might seem like I'm overly invested, but my work is in social groups in young adults, so I know a lot about sororities!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls get shut out if they don't accept invites from less popular houses. My daughter has lots of friends that didn't get into a house because they turned down what they perceived as lesser houses at different steps in the process. At her school, about 25% of the girls that start rush end up in a house. Most girls drop at one of the steps if they don't get a house they want. About 1/5 of the houses do not get the numbers that they want, one is likely losing its charter because it can't meet required numbers.
I know it might seem like I'm overly invested, but my work is in social groups in young adults, so I know a lot about sororities!

DP Or, in some cases, just the LEAST popular house. If you’re ok with 19 of the 20 houses, you still need to prepare to potentially drop out halfway through at some schools because you might just get that one and only that one. I cannot emphasize this enough: some schools are brutal and some are not. It really depends.

[Anonymous]

From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls get shut out if they don't accept invites from less popular houses. My daughter has lots of friends that didn't get into a house because they turned down what they perceived as lesser houses at different steps in the process. At her school, about 25% of the girls that start rush end up in a house. Most girls drop at one of the steps if they don't get a house they want. About 1/5 of the houses do not get the numbers that they want, one is likely losing its charter because it can't meet required numbers.
I know it might seem like I'm overly invested, but my work is in social groups in young adults, so I know a lot about sororities!

At what school?

It's a toxic process, where 18 year olds are told to "trust the process" of "mutual selection". What kind of people enjoy being part of a sorority where you have formal recruitment and rank a bunch of young women you only met for a few minutes? Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's a toxic process, where 18 year olds are told to "trust the process" of "mutual selection". What kind of people enjoy being part of a sorority where you have formal recruitment and rank a bunch of young women you only met for a few minutes? Very weird.

That kind of reminds me of the hiring process at my company!