A middle aged man's (actual) list of desired qualities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

You want a woman with zero baggage, as if any middle aged person qualifies, but yet you are the male version of a cat lady? Good luck!

No relationship baggage with her ex. I especially don't want to spend the better part of a first date listening to her vent about her ex. BTDT. I have exes too but I'll barely mention them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Widow here and we would be a good match, though I've found a really good man I'm enjoying dating.
I meet most of the criteria on these lists and have not had a problem getting dates with decent men. So there must not be many of us out there. (I'm not that pretty, just average.)
Fit and financially secure are probably the hardest to come by. Amongst my single friends, no one is both.
Also, if I came across your profile I would be interested. Good luck and sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

All these dudes who say ‘not fat’ havevsex packs and are over 6’1”, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s uneven. Men die earlier typically. People like this don’t want to be known for their money but what else are they actually bringing to the table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s uneven. Men die earlier typically. People like this don’t want to be known for their money but what else are they actually bringing to the table

Exactly. So let’s see: second marriage, maybe they don’t combine finances because if existing kids. She gets what, ten years if companionship before he’s an old man and then she’s still active while he needs caretaking. Then he dies and she is not only alone with no one to take care of her, but also no money to replace someone taking care of her because it all goes to his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these dudes who say ‘not fat’ havevsex packs and are over 6’1”, right?

Women: What do men want?

Men: We want these things.

Women: F-you!! And you're fat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Widow here and we would be a good match, though I've found a really good man I'm enjoying dating.
I meet most of the criteria on these lists and have not had a problem getting dates with decent men. So there must not be many of us out there. (I'm not that pretty, just average.)
Fit and financially secure are probably the hardest to come by. Amongst my single friends, no one is both.
Also, if I came across your profile I would be interested. Good luck and sorry for your loss.

I all tall, fit, financially secure, PhD-level education, and a great job. I am also dating much younger.

[Anonymous]

I'm a super fit woman in my mid 40s, I also meet the other criteria except finally secure. I've focused my time on being in the gym, being with friends, and eating healthy, home-cooked meals instead of my career. I used to be a SAHM and am back in the field. Looking to meet someone decent who is willing to be the bread winner, it's tough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s uneven. Men die earlier typically. People like this don’t want to be known for their money but what else are they actually bringing to the table

Exactly. So let’s see: second marriage, maybe they don’t combine finances because if existing kids. She gets what, ten years if companionship before he’s an old man and then she’s still active while he needs caretaking. Then he dies and she is not only alone with no one to take care of her, but also no money to replace someone taking care of her because it all goes to his kids.

I am mid 40s female in 99th percentile net worth for my age group (over $4mm NW), $300k income, own house and several paid off rentals. I am fit, tall, attractive and have one child who starts college in the fall.
I have zero interest dating a 60 yo with his early retiree lifestyle. I plan to work at least 15 more years, and if I date it would be only someone my age or younger with a professional job. I want to build a new family nest (eg new joint house, mixed joint/separate finances, some rights of survivorship etc) to have a real partner later in life. I also still want a second child preferably not on my own but with my future second husband. Either through adoption or fertility technology.
Not sure what women with money would get from 60 yo retiree who will need caregiver in 10-15 years and has zero to offer. If I was looking for sex, I still would only date 40 something men. If I was looking for money, I would only date a private jet type for luxury dating experiences. But I don’t need that. Family is everything to me: I was very happy during my first 10 years of marriage and super unhappy in the last 5. I still believe in happy family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a super fit woman in my mid 40s, I also meet the other criteria except finally secure. I've focused my time on being in the gym, being with friends, and eating healthy, home-cooked meals instead of my career. I used to be a SAHM and am back in the field. Looking to meet someone decent who is willing to be the bread winner, it's tough!

You need to date older 60+ who will sponsor you. Women with money in mid 40s date mid level professionals for egalitarian marriage and these men also want their partners financially secure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a super fit woman in my mid 40s, I also meet the other criteria except finally secure. I've focused my time on being in the gym, being with friends, and eating healthy, home-cooked meals instead of my career. I used to be a SAHM and am back in the field. Looking to meet someone decent who is willing to be the bread winner, it's tough!

Why does he need to be a bread winner ? Do you plan to have more kids? Men usually take on bread winner role if they have joint kids with you. If that’s not what you plan, then you are better off making a career shift than looking for a sponsor. It will be a relationship with significant power imbalance. I wouldn’t want to tolerate power imbalance in relationship in my mid life. Had enough of it in my first marriage

[Anonymous]

I am 47 and recently divorced. Tall, financially successful, conventionally attractive. Good relationship with ex.

I am looking for someone who is:

kind.
Fun and likes to stay out late if there is something fun going on
loves travel and nice hotels
loves sex and is open minded
reasonably attractive. Doesn't need to be thin, just proportional.
not clingy. I am not looking for anything super serious.

Loves dogs is a plus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s uneven. Men die earlier typically. People like this don’t want to be known for their money but what else are they actually bringing to the table

Exactly. So let’s see: second marriage, maybe they don’t combine finances because if existing kids. She gets what, ten years if companionship before he’s an old man and then she’s still active while he needs caretaking. Then he dies and she is not only alone with no one to take care of her, but also no money to replace someone taking care of her because it all goes to his kids.

+1

Money goes to kids. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s uneven. Men die earlier typically. People like this don’t want to be known for their money but what else are they actually bringing to the table

Exactly. So let’s see: second marriage, maybe they don’t combine finances because if existing kids. She gets what, ten years if companionship before he’s an old man and then she’s still active while he needs caretaking. Then he dies and she is not only alone with no one to take care of her, but also no money to replace someone taking care of her because it all goes to his kids.

+1

Money goes to kids. This.

That’s why nobody needs these old men. They have literally nothing to offer. I would rather date a 40 something type PP who doesn’t want anything serious: at least I have my freedom to date while I have a FWB my age and his younger body to enjoy