A middle aged man's (actual) list of desired qualities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

Kind of like women who want a man who is over 6 feet tall, makes at least $500k/year, etc.

Over 5’ 10” and over $300K would suffice : )

Okay the heightening surgery we need some breakthroughs on that. I can't be down for a whole year. I'm just saying everything physical you ladies can change with about 20 grand and a pretty short recovery. For us a lot of times it's not even feasible. Sure we can get you 300K some of us but the height requirements feel very exclusionary. It's not like getting a BBL, lipo or tit job. The height surgery means breaking bones for a couple of inches and you'll never be able to play sports again.

I'm just saying I know there are some fine medical minds amongst you ladies, give me some help please. Let's make 6 ft a standard achievable by all men for a price equivalent to a boob job because it's the fair thing to do.

Honestly it’s a preference not a requirement. I’ve been super attracted to men my height (5’9”) and shorter. Kind winning honest open trustworthy personality and solid stable secure responsible financials are much more important than height. Height just adds something to the sex life that is really nice to have (and actually contributes to the security feeling).

Does height really add to the sex life? Is it just in attraction or isnit something else?

If you had asked me before last year I would have said height was unimportant. I am still very attracted to men my height and shorter. However, last year I started dating a man who is 6’2” for the first time in my life and the spark is intense. Also this is embarrassing to say but I did not realize that the endowment is proportional and although I would never previously have said that it matters now that I am aware of the difference, it matters. I still would not pass over a great shorter guy on this factor alone, nor would I stay with a talk jerk because of it. However it is a really nice “nice to have.”

I don’t think the endowment being proportional bit is true. I’m a very short guy (bottom 5%) and top 1-2% endowed.

It is statistically proportionate to height and shoe size. But as it’s a weak correlation shorter men have disproportionately larger endowment / relative their height. A tall woman in top 5% would have longer pathways as well. I am 5’8 when I was pregnant the baby was huge but I had a barely noticeable belly even at 8 months. The baby stretched inside along my cavities.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107906329300600305

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

Kind of like women who want a man who is over 6 feet tall, makes at least $500k/year, etc.

Over 5’ 10” and over $300K would suffice : )

Okay the heightening surgery we need some breakthroughs on that. I can't be down for a whole year. I'm just saying everything physical you ladies can change with about 20 grand and a pretty short recovery. For us a lot of times it's not even feasible. Sure we can get you 300K some of us but the height requirements feel very exclusionary. It's not like getting a BBL, lipo or tit job. The height surgery means breaking bones for a couple of inches and you'll never be able to play sports again.

I'm just saying I know there are some fine medical minds amongst you ladies, give me some help please. Let's make 6 ft a standard achievable by all men for a price equivalent to a boob job because it's the fair thing to do.

Honestly it’s a preference not a requirement. I’ve been super attracted to men my height (5’9”) and shorter. Kind winning honest open trustworthy personality and solid stable secure responsible financials are much more important than height. Height just adds something to the sex life that is really nice to have (and actually contributes to the security feeling).

Does height really add to the sex life? Is it just in attraction or isnit something else?

If you had asked me before last year I would have said height was unimportant. I am still very attracted to men my height and shorter. However, last year I started dating a man who is 6’2” for the first time in my life and the spark is intense. Also this is embarrassing to say but I did not realize that the endowment is proportional and although I would never previously have said that it matters now that I am aware of the difference, it matters. I still would not pass over a great shorter guy on this factor alone, nor would I stay with a talk jerk because of it. However it is a really nice “nice to have.”

I don’t think the endowment being proportional bit is true. I’m a very short guy (bottom 5%) and top 1-2% endowed.

As a guy I’m not sure how you would know this unless you’ve seen a lot of guys hard. There is no correlation between soft and hard size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

Yeah, physical, verbal, emotional and financial abuse and alcoholism. Super frivolous. My child and I have the physical scars and hospital records and he has the criminal record to show how frivolous it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

Kind of like women who want a man who is over 6 feet tall, makes at least $500k/year, etc.

Over 5’ 10” and over $300K would suffice : )

Okay the heightening surgery we need some breakthroughs on that. I can't be down for a whole year. I'm just saying everything physical you ladies can change with about 20 grand and a pretty short recovery. For us a lot of times it's not even feasible. Sure we can get you 300K some of us but the height requirements feel very exclusionary. It's not like getting a BBL, lipo or tit job. The height surgery means breaking bones for a couple of inches and you'll never be able to play sports again.

I'm just saying I know there are some fine medical minds amongst you ladies, give me some help please. Let's make 6 ft a standard achievable by all men for a price equivalent to a boob job because it's the fair thing to do.

Honestly it’s a preference not a requirement. I’ve been super attracted to men my height (5’9”) and shorter. Kind winning honest open trustworthy personality and solid stable secure responsible financials are much more important than height. Height just adds something to the sex life that is really nice to have (and actually contributes to the security feeling).

Does height really add to the sex life? Is it just in attraction or isnit something else?

If you had asked me before last year I would have said height was unimportant. I am still very attracted to men my height and shorter. However, last year I started dating a man who is 6’2” for the first time in my life and the spark is intense. Also this is embarrassing to say but I did not realize that the endowment is proportional and although I would never previously have said that it matters now that I am aware of the difference, it matters. I still would not pass over a great shorter guy on this factor alone, nor would I stay with a talk jerk because of it. However it is a really nice “nice to have.”

I don’t think the endowment being proportional bit is true. I’m a very short guy (bottom 5%) and top 1-2% endowed.

It is statistically proportionate to height and shoe size. But as it’s a weak correlation shorter men have disproportionately larger endowment / relative their height. A tall woman in top 5% would have longer pathways as well. I am 5’8 when I was pregnant the baby was huge but I had a barely noticeable belly even at 8 months. The baby stretched inside along my cavities.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107906329300600305

What a weird comparison! At 8 mos, the baby wasn’t residing in your vagina. And even a 10” member isn’t entering the uterus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

Yeah, physical, verbal, emotional and financial abuse and alcoholism. Super frivolous. My child and I have the physical scars and hospital records and he has the criminal record to show how frivolous it was.

Women never divorce men over nothing. There is always a fire when there is smoke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Let me guess. You’re 60 and she should be under 45.

You're close. You say that like it's a bad thing.

It’s laughable. Your pool is high 50s and up.

I kn ow you wish that for me but it's not my reality. Not around here anyway. The ratio of women to men is very favorable to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

I don’t think they really mean fit. They mean skinny.

My coworker started cross fit and lost 50 lbs quickly. Then, she continued, but her DH wasn’t supportive. He only wanted her to lose weight, not actually to be physically fit.

I just mean, not fat. And I'm OK with a little belly fat. In fact, I think it's cute. I don't want a skinny woman either. Just not 25 pounds overweight unless she is tall and it really goes to mostly the right places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

Kind of like women who want a man who is over 6 feet tall, makes at least $500k/year, etc.

Over 5’ 10” and over $300K would suffice : )

Okay the heightening surgery we need some breakthroughs on that. I can't be down for a whole year. I'm just saying everything physical you ladies can change with about 20 grand and a pretty short recovery. For us a lot of times it's not even feasible. Sure we can get you 300K some of us but the height requirements feel very exclusionary. It's not like getting a BBL, lipo or tit job. The height surgery means breaking bones for a couple of inches and you'll never be able to play sports again.

I'm just saying I know there are some fine medical minds amongst you ladies, give me some help please. Let's make 6 ft a standard achievable by all men for a price equivalent to a boob job because it's the fair thing to do.

Honestly it’s a preference not a requirement. I’ve been super attracted to men my height (5’9”) and shorter. Kind winning honest open trustworthy personality and solid stable secure responsible financials are much more important than height. Height just adds something to the sex life that is really nice to have (and actually contributes to the security feeling).

Does height really add to the sex life? Is it just in attraction or isnit something else?

If you had asked me before last year I would have said height was unimportant. I am still very attracted to men my height and shorter. However, last year I started dating a man who is 6’2” for the first time in my life and the spark is intense. Also this is embarrassing to say but I did not realize that the endowment is proportional and although I would never previously have said that it matters now that I am aware of the difference, it matters. I still would not pass over a great shorter guy on this factor alone, nor would I stay with a talk jerk because of it. However it is a really nice “nice to have.”

I don’t think the endowment being proportional bit is true. I’m a very short guy (bottom 5%) and top 1-2% endowed.

It is statistically proportionate to height and shoe size. But as it’s a weak correlation shorter men have disproportionately larger endowment / relative their height. A tall woman in top 5% would have longer pathways as well. I am 5’8 when I was pregnant the baby was huge but I had a barely noticeable belly even at 8 months. The baby stretched inside along my cavities.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107906329300600305

What a weird comparison! At 8 mos, the baby wasn’t residing in your vagina. And even a 10” member isn’t entering the uterus.

No it isn't. Not at all. Where did you get that from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

I agree. Many times (70% of divorces initiated by women and check out the lesbian divorce rate, which is insane) it’s this reflexive, emotional response from women to get divorced for all the grudges they cant let go of, or for the household imbalance in chores they perceive, or just general female flightiness. That sounds sexist as hell and I don’t mean it that way, but honestly women complain in general more than men. They vocalize all their displeasure. Men let things wash off their backs easier. Don’t bond grudges as much. And are more emotionally balanced. It’s the truth. Gay men stay together much more. Truth.

[Anonymous]

My DH and went to counseling when the kids were little because the stress of raising them was causing us to fight.

The female therapist actually called me outside of a session to ask "if I was sure" my DH didn't beat me.

He has never laid a finger on me but she oh so badly wanted this to be an issue.

Truly bizarre.

Anyway- yes, some women want others to divorce. I don't know the motivation but it's there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

I agree. Many times (70% of divorces initiated by women and check out the lesbian divorce rate, which is insane) it’s this reflexive, emotional response from women to get divorced for all the grudges they cant let go of, or for the household imbalance in chores they perceive, or just general female flightiness. That sounds sexist as hell and I don’t mean it that way, but honestly women complain in general more than men. They vocalize all their displeasure. Men let things wash off their backs easier. Don’t bond grudges as much. And are more emotionally balanced. It’s the truth. Gay men stay together much more. Truth.

No it isn't. Gay men have sex with others at the highest rates and are together the least. I don't know who told you otherswise. Few gay men marry.

Men hide their emotions and then finally act them out in destructive ways because they don't like communication as much or aren't as good at it or just don't behave in a way that they can be vulnerable through communication as easily. But they can be just as destructive. Instead of a 1000 cuts they end up becoming one big bomb.

[Anonymous]

Stable job, no excessive debts, independent, has his own place (rental or owns, don't care), no mental issues such as depression. I really don't care if he is fat or skinny, but I do like intelligent, well-versed, well-traveled men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

I agree. Many times (70% of divorces initiated by women and check out the lesbian divorce rate, which is insane) it’s this reflexive, emotional response from women to get divorced for all the grudges they cant let go of, or for the household imbalance in chores they perceive, or just general female flightiness. That sounds sexist as hell and I don’t mean it that way, but honestly women complain in general more than men. They vocalize all their displeasure. Men let things wash off their backs easier. Don’t bond grudges as much. And are more emotionally balanced. It’s the truth. Gay men stay together much more. Truth.

Im a woman and I have to say I agree with this 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t oppose men who date way younger, I just think it’s gross. But I can’t think of any I know whom I didn’t already think were gross, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it only becomes a rub if it’s your ex-husband or your Dad.

One of the main things that is gross about it is such men have often already built and abandoned a family. It’s socially acceptable now, but for me it just means I’ll never respect you.

My personal least favorite age gap couple is David Brooks. That a-hole STILL gets paid to lecture the public about morality and he abandoned his family and religion for goodness sake for his much, much younger research assistant. Gag.

80% chance the divorce was the XWs idea, so she's the one who "abandoned the family" not him. And very often in such cases, the XW denies the man access to his kids and then lies to the kids that he doesn't care about them and doesn't want to see them anymore. He really can't be blamed for finding another wife of whatever age at that point.

By the time exW files for divorce he’s done many things that she can’t live with.

I'm the PP who just wrote that I agreed with women being complainers, emotionally unbalanced etc. But now I read the above and completely agree with that too. Ha ha, evidence of female flightiness?

Doesn't alter the fact that she's the one who abandoned the family. And in the majority of cases what she "can't live with" is relatively frivolous - mainly she's just bored.

Nope. Keep repeating this lie (and you will). You’ll still be wrong.

Nope. Women keep repeating the lie that they didn't divorce for frivolous reasons. It's understandable, because if they admitted it then they'd have to acknowledge they are lousy human beings.

I agree. Many times (70% of divorces initiated by women and check out the lesbian divorce rate, which is insane) it’s this reflexive, emotional response from women to get divorced for all the grudges they cant let go of, or for the household imbalance in chores they perceive, or just general female flightiness. That sounds sexist as hell and I don’t mean it that way, but honestly women complain in general more than men. They vocalize all their displeasure. Men let things wash off their backs easier. Don’t bond grudges as much. And are more emotionally balanced. It’s the truth. Gay men stay together much more. Truth.

No it isn't. Gay men have sex with others at the highest rates and are together the least. I don't know who told you otherswise. Few gay men marry.

Men hide their emotions and then finally act them out in destructive ways because they don't like communication as much or aren't as good at it or just don't behave in a way that they can be vulnerable through communication as easily. But they can be just as destructive. Instead of a 1000 cuts they end up becoming one big bomb.