A middle aged man's (actual) list of desired qualities

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

Kind of like women who want a man who is over 6 feet tall, makes at least $500k/year, etc.

Over 5’ 10” and over $300K would suffice : )

Okay the heightening surgery we need some breakthroughs on that. I can't be down for a whole year. I'm just saying everything physical you ladies can change with about 20 grand and a pretty short recovery. For us a lot of times it's not even feasible. Sure we can get you 300K some of us but the height requirements feel very exclusionary. It's not like getting a BBL, lipo or tit job. The height surgery means breaking bones for a couple of inches and you'll never be able to play sports again.

I'm just saying I know there are some fine medical minds amongst you ladies, give me some help please. Let's make 6 ft a standard achievable by all men for a price equivalent to a boob job because it's the fair thing to do.

Honestly it’s a preference not a requirement. I’ve been super attracted to men my height (5’9”) and shorter. Kind winning honest open trustworthy personality and solid stable secure responsible financials are much more important than height. Height just adds something to the sex life that is really nice to have (and actually contributes to the security feeling).

Does height really add to the sex life? Is it just in attraction or isnit something else?

If you had asked me before last year I would have said height was unimportant. I am still very attracted to men my height and shorter. However, last year I started dating a man who is 6’2” for the first time in my life and the spark is intense. Also this is embarrassing to say but I did not realize that the endowment is proportional and although I would never previously have said that it matters now that I am aware of the difference, it matters. I still would not pass over a great shorter guy on this factor alone, nor would I stay with a talk jerk because of it. However it is a really nice “nice to have.”

You must be a troll. Size doesn’t make any difference.

That’s what I thought. You do you.

NP.. but how well he's endowed does not always correlate to his height. DH is 6'3", and it's smallish.

My wife says there literally no way to tell. I’m 6’ tall and have always been scrawny but my hog is bigger around than my wrist. Like, I’ve put my watch on it (don’t ask) and I had to let out the strap a few holes. Lol. I’ve tried eating and lifting a lot but I just don’t put on mass very easily.

The watch test made me laugh. I'm a dude, and I can totally imagine doing that in my younger days. (I just used a measuring tape.)

Well, I hate to admit but I did that in the last few years. Lol. In my defense, dw suggested it for a laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why if I ever get divorced I think I’ll prefer to be single. Embrace my “witch” era, live in a cabin at the edge of the woods, do crafts and gardening. Those ladies were on to something good. That’s why they burned them.

I have no interest in the woods but I am pretty sure I would stay single forever if I got divorced. I'm too old to be trying to tick off boxes on some 50yo middle manager's list

So if you were single and looking, you wouldn’t even have a single requirement that you’d like in a potential mate? I don’t beleive that. In fact, women seem to have the most extensive lists, and often, they statt with things that guys can’t change (height, etc).

I’ve known women with excel sheets tracking how the people they’re dating stack up (also, it helps keep track of things they want to remember about them). But for a guy to be criticized for their relativey short list of requirements is crazy.

I do have an Excel spreadsheet on the women I date. One day I'll use the data to write a book. Here are the categories I use, and these are not in order of importance:

Younger
Pretty
Intelligence
Passionate
Sex
Body
Hair (longer is better)
Educated
Professional
Interests--Museums
Interests--History
Feminine
Traveler
Neat (House clean, organized)
Children
Sense of humor
Effort

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

I wonder how many of the men who say "fit" are fit themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why if I ever get divorced I think I’ll prefer to be single. Embrace my “witch” era, live in a cabin at the edge of the woods, do crafts and gardening. Those ladies were on to something good. That’s why they burned them.

I have no interest in the woods but I am pretty sure I would stay single forever if I got divorced. I'm too old to be trying to tick off boxes on some 50yo middle manager's list

So if you were single and looking, you wouldn’t even have a single requirement that you’d like in a potential mate? I don’t beleive that. In fact, women seem to have the most extensive lists, and often, they statt with things that guys can’t change (height, etc).

I’ve known women with excel sheets tracking how the people they’re dating stack up (also, it helps keep track of things they want to remember about them). But for a guy to be criticized for their relativey short list of requirements is crazy.

I do have an Excel spreadsheet on the women I date. One day I'll use the data to write a book. Here are the categories I use, and these are not in order of importance:

Younger
Pretty
Intelligence
Passionate
Sex
Body
Hair (longer is better)
Educated
Professional
Interests--Museums
Interests--History
Feminine
Traveler
Neat (House clean, organized)
Children
Sense of humor
Effort

How incredibly interesting. No doubt your book will be a bestseller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why if I ever get divorced I think I’ll prefer to be single. Embrace my “witch” era, live in a cabin at the edge of the woods, do crafts and gardening. Those ladies were on to something good. That’s why they burned them.

I have no interest in the woods but I am pretty sure I would stay single forever if I got divorced. I'm too old to be trying to tick off boxes on some 50yo middle manager's list

So if you were single and looking, you wouldn’t even have a single requirement that you’d like in a potential mate? I don’t beleive that. In fact, women seem to have the most extensive lists, and often, they statt with things that guys can’t change (height, etc).

I’ve known women with excel sheets tracking how the people they’re dating stack up (also, it helps keep track of things they want to remember about them). But for a guy to be criticized for their relativey short list of requirements is crazy.

I do have an Excel spreadsheet on the women I date. One day I'll use the data to write a book. Here are the categories I use, and these are not in order of importance:

Younger
Pretty
Intelligence
Passionate
Sex
Body
Hair (longer is better)
Educated
Professional
Interests--Museums
Interests--History
Feminine
Traveler
Neat (House clean, organized)
Children
Sense of humor
Effort

I am all of these qualities accept for the age category since I do not know if I am younger than you. However, I have been dating much younger men who thought at the beginning that I was their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why if I ever get divorced I think I’ll prefer to be single. Embrace my “witch” era, live in a cabin at the edge of the woods, do crafts and gardening. Those ladies were on to something good. That’s why they burned them.

I have no interest in the woods but I am pretty sure I would stay single forever if I got divorced. I'm too old to be trying to tick off boxes on some 50yo middle manager's list

So if you were single and looking, you wouldn’t even have a single requirement that you’d like in a potential mate? I don’t beleive that. In fact, women seem to have the most extensive lists, and often, they statt with things that guys can’t change (height, etc).

I’ve known women with excel sheets tracking how the people they’re dating stack up (also, it helps keep track of things they want to remember about them). But for a guy to be criticized for their relativey short list of requirements is crazy.

I do have an Excel spreadsheet on the women I date. One day I'll use the data to write a book. Here are the categories I use, and these are not in order of importance:

Younger
Pretty
Intelligence
Passionate
Sex
Body
Hair (longer is better)
Educated
Professional
Interests--Museums
Interests--History
Feminine
Traveler
Neat (House clean, organized)
Children
Sense of humor
Effort

I am all of these qualities accept for the age category since I do not know if I am younger than you. However, I have been dating much younger men who thought at the beginning that I was their age.

Ah yes, DCUM, where all the women look younger, all the men make at least 400K, and all the children are Ivy bound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why if I ever get divorced I think I’ll prefer to be single. Embrace my “witch” era, live in a cabin at the edge of the woods, do crafts and gardening. Those ladies were on to something good. That’s why they burned them.

I have no interest in the woods but I am pretty sure I would stay single forever if I got divorced. I'm too old to be trying to tick off boxes on some 50yo middle manager's list

So if you were single and looking, you wouldn’t even have a single requirement that you’d like in a potential mate? I don’t beleive that. In fact, women seem to have the most extensive lists, and often, they statt with things that guys can’t change (height, etc).

I’ve known women with excel sheets tracking how the people they’re dating stack up (also, it helps keep track of things they want to remember about them). But for a guy to be criticized for their relativey short list of requirements is crazy.

I do have an Excel spreadsheet on the women I date. One day I'll use the data to write a book. Here are the categories I use, and these are not in order of importance:

Younger
Pretty
Intelligence
Passionate
Sex
Body
Hair (longer is better)
Educated
Professional
Interests--Museums
Interests--History
Feminine
Traveler
Neat (House clean, organized)
Children
Sense of humor
Effort

I am all of these qualities accept for the age category since I do not know if I am younger than you. However, I have been dating much younger men who thought at the beginning that I was their age.

Ah yes, DCUM, where all the women look younger, all the men make at least 400K, and all the children are Ivy bound.

I would maybe rate well on 2 of those things, but I am more than ok with that because I think the list maker and I generally wouldn’t get along.
I’m also married so completely out of the running.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD breasts or larger (I’ll probably get slammed for this one.)
Kind
Considerate of others
Independent
Good sense of humor
No smoker
Not a heavy drinker (I don’t drink at all. Did it got the Tshirt)
Goes to the gym
No drama
Enjoys $ex
Common sense

No problem liking what you like, but the "no drama" comment would give me pause. It's usually men who can't communicate well that specify this. But then I'm a B (PP) and married, so my opinion is irrelevant to you anyway, heh.

I’m back… The no drama was not directed towards the woman I’m dating. It’s the girlfriends drama that sometimes creeps into a relationship. If your girlfriend has drama, that’s on her. Thank you for the feedback/input

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD breasts or larger (I’ll probably get slammed for this one.)
Kind
Considerate of others
Independent
Good sense of humor
No smoker
Not a heavy drinker (I don’t drink at all. Did it got the Tshirt)
Goes to the gym
No drama
Enjoys $ex
Common sense

I got a 9 out of 11! Which ones of these exactly are actually deal breakers?

PP with the above list. None are deal breakers and no one is perfect. What two missed the mark?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD breasts or larger (I’ll probably get slammed for this one.)
Kind
Considerate of others
Independent
Good sense of humor
No smoker
Not a heavy drinker (I don’t drink at all. Did it got the Tshirt)
Goes to the gym
No drama
Enjoys $ex
Common sense

No problem liking what you like, but the "no drama" comment would give me pause. It's usually men who can't communicate well that specify this. But then I'm a B (PP) and married, so my opinion is irrelevant to you anyway, heh.

I’m back… The no drama was not directed towards the woman I’m dating. It’s the girlfriends drama that sometimes creeps into a relationship. If your girlfriend has drama, that’s on her. Thank you for the feedback/input

Now you are policing their friends too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD breasts or larger (I’ll probably get slammed for this one.)
Kind
Considerate of others
Independent
Good sense of humor
No smoker
Not a heavy drinker (I don’t drink at all. Did it got the Tshirt)
Goes to the gym
No drama
Enjoys $ex
Common sense

No problem liking what you like, but the "no drama" comment would give me pause. It's usually men who can't communicate well that specify this. But then I'm a B (PP) and married, so my opinion is irrelevant to you anyway, heh.

I’m back… The no drama was not directed towards the woman I’m dating. It’s the girlfriends drama that sometimes creeps into a relationship. If your girlfriend has drama, that’s on her. Thank you for the feedback/input

Now you are policing their friends too?

What part of I don’t want someone else’s drama spilling over into my/our life don’t you understand? I was trying to go about it the nicest way I could but you’re making me out to be the Gestapo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of the guys who posted here ... is such a woman hard to find? Seems like it shouldn't be

As you have noticed, a lot of guys put "fit" in their description of what they want in a woman. Most America women (and men) are not fit, especially in middle age. So that removes about 70% of the population right there.

I wonder how many of the men who say "fit" are fit themselves.

I wonder how many of the women who say 6 foot, 6 figures, 6pack abs, etc. about the men they want to date have those qualifications...

[Anonymous]

I’m 50s and thin. Would never date someone overwheight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

Fit is hard enough to find - layering in all of those other things makes it pretty hard to find.

It's a wish list. I don't expect to find all those things in one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed man and I'm looking for her now. Have been on about 15 dates. Didn't want any second dates so far. It's a lot of effort.

Fit, financially secure, likes to stay in and let me cook us a meal then watch a movie as much as dress up and go out dancing, or maybe a hike in the woods. No ex baggage at all-none. Grown kids who don't live with her. Not allergic to cats. Adventurous and expects the same in me. Willing to try new things. Bonus if she has a nice a$$.

How old are you? How old should the woman be?

58 Anywhere from her 40s to my age.