Divorce when kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Source?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom. Conjecture ["you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages" is also conjecture]

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations. That's your interpretation and issue. Not the thread's or even the post you were referring to about dads not paying for college. [Directly responsive to many posts in the thread that contend that divorced moms who make less than divorced dads should not have to pay for college and should still get CS for kid living expenses]

This doesn't make sense. CS only goes up to age 18. So it would go to another child, not the one in college. So yes, I agree with them.

Besides CS is pretty low, particularly in Virginia. It's made for people in Western Virginia to be able to afford it. CS covers the cost of food, clothes, and doctor's visits and that's it in the DC area for me. It's barely anything.

CS is through age 21 in DC. My lawyer told me parent can spend it on legitimate child expenses like travel, prorated housing with the parent when not in college etc.

You can use the child support any way you wish but that is Dad's portion of expense so if you choose not to use it for college, then that's on you. You shouldn't get both child support and expect dad to pay 100% of college and expenses. Dad can pay for travel to his home and child can stay with Dad holidays. Mom can then downsize to a house or apartment she can afford.

[Anonymous]

Havent read all the replies but I loaded up the kids 529s before I left my wife and she tried to claw it back in divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Havent read all the replies but I loaded up the kids 529s before I left my wife and she tried to claw it back in divorce

529s are joint property just like 401k subject to division

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

If he makes $300k and CS is $1000/mo then she makes at least $100k. She is NOT poor. She is the one who is being petty if she demands $1000/mo money “because kids are with her on winter break” rather than spending it on college costs. If she pays $12k out of “her” CS while he pays $36k (75:25 split based on respective income) that is a totally fair split. If he’s gotta pay $48k for college AND give her $12k to do whatever she wants with, that is entirely unfair to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

If he makes $300k and CS is $1000/mo then she makes at least $100k. She is NOT poor. She is the one who is being petty if she demands $1000/mo money “because kids are with her on winter break” rather than spending it on college costs. If she pays $12k out of “her” CS while he pays $36k (75:25 split based on respective income) that is a totally fair split. If he’s gotta pay $48k for college AND give her $12k to do whatever she wants with, that is entirely unfair to him.

You're being an impossible petty jerk. No that's not entirely correctly prorated by law calculation. The CS is given to her to equalize her household with yours. College is a separate financial obligation. Just stop, we agree to disagree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

If he makes $300k and CS is $1000/mo then she makes at least $100k. She is NOT poor. She is the one who is being petty if she demands $1000/mo money “because kids are with her on winter break” rather than spending it on college costs. If she pays $12k out of “her” CS while he pays $36k (75:25 split based on respective income) that is a totally fair split. If he’s gotta pay $48k for college AND give her $12k to do whatever she wants with, that is entirely unfair to him.

You're being an impossible petty jerk. No that's not entirely correctly prorated by law calculation. The CS is given to her to equalize her household with yours. College is a separate financial obligation. Just stop, we agree to disagree

The child is no longer at her home. If she noises to use the child support for her needs she as no right to complain. Neither parent is obligated to pay for college but dad is supporting child with mom not only not contributing but also taking the money for themselves. Child can stay with dad summers and holidays if mom has no space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.