Divorce when kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

Actually it’s not. It is a percentage of dads income. Child can go sta6 with dad. Child is not a roommate. It does not cost 50% for child. When child moves out, then what?

You're not reading, when the child moves out of course mortgage of a parent is not paid from CS. When the child resides with the parent, it's totally legit to do so. In fact, I advise my child to remain at my house until age 21 while in college, to save both on mortgage and his college living expenses. Maryland CS expenses charts all include rent/mortgage and 50% of it for the 50% the child resides with parent is the "child" expense/need that is taken into account when determining CS. Children don't get free housing, you know.

So you’re depriving him of a regular college experience so you can get mortgage payments. You are slimy.

Really horrible to take your child’s money for your needs. It is not half. You are greedy and justifying your terrible behavior. That money should be going to your child, not you. Kid should go live with dad.

Kid doesn’t want to live with dad. As of now I pay for all major expenses. What I am saying is that even when in college kids do share to some extend same household with parent they are more close with. Thus dads complaining that mom spent some of CS on child clothing, avia fare, her mortgage (I am not saying 100%) instead of sending it to college tuition are wrong. These dads if they make more should be paying more towards college . My CS is $1000/month it’s not enough for anything in college regardless

The problem is that these dads are paying more for college than the mom AND are also sending CS to the mom to spend as she pleases. That CS money should go 100% to the kids college.

It is absolute BS that the mom spends any CS on her mortgage after the kids go to college. If she can afford that mortgage for the 9 months when the kids are away at school then she does not need it when the kids are home for the summer.

NO that dad above pays $2100/month which is not sufficient for a good US college and he thinks this exhausts his college obligations. A good dad won't count his peanut CS at all and just pay for college if he's paid more than mom. If mom is making 70k and he's making 300K, he should pay for college no questions asked. Any decent guy would do that. No what they do is shifting college to kids or low paid mother pretending like CS would solve the issue. It wont as CS didn't include college expenses into consideration. It was for the child while the child resides with custodian parents

Absolutely disagree he should pay for everything no questions asked. She should pay for 19% of the college expenses ($70,000 / $370,000 = 0.19). A decent woman would contribute her fair share like that. A decent woman would also not siphon off dad's money to pay for her mortgage or personal expenses when her kid is in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

Actually it’s not. It is a percentage of dads income. Child can go sta6 with dad. Child is not a roommate. It does not cost 50% for child. When child moves out, then what?

You're not reading, when the child moves out of course mortgage of a parent is not paid from CS. When the child resides with the parent, it's totally legit to do so. In fact, I advise my child to remain at my house until age 21 while in college, to save both on mortgage and his college living expenses. Maryland CS expenses charts all include rent/mortgage and 50% of it for the 50% the child resides with parent is the "child" expense/need that is taken into account when determining CS. Children don't get free housing, you know.

So you’re depriving him of a regular college experience so you can get mortgage payments. You are slimy.

Really horrible to take your child’s money for your needs. It is not half. You are greedy and justifying your terrible behavior. That money should be going to your child, not you. Kid should go live with dad.

Kid doesn’t want to live with dad. As of now I pay for all major expenses. What I am saying is that even when in college kids do share to some extend same household with parent they are more close with. Thus dads complaining that mom spent some of CS on child clothing, avia fare, her mortgage (I am not saying 100%) instead of sending it to college tuition are wrong. These dads if they make more should be paying more towards college . My CS is $1000/month it’s not enough for anything in college regardless

The problem is that these dads are paying more for college than the mom AND are also sending CS to the mom to spend as she pleases. That CS money should go 100% to the kids college.

It is absolute BS that the mom spends any CS on her mortgage after the kids go to college. If she can afford that mortgage for the 9 months when the kids are away at school then she does not need it when the kids are home for the summer.

NO that dad above pays $2100/month which is not sufficient for a good US college and he thinks this exhausts his college obligations. A good dad won't count his peanut CS at all and just pay for college if he's paid more than mom. If mom is making 70k and he's making 300K, he should pay for college no questions asked. Any decent guy would do that. No what they do is shifting college to kids or low paid mother pretending like CS would solve the issue. It wont as CS didn't include college expenses into consideration. It was for the child while the child resides with custodian parents

Absolutely disagree he should pay for everything no questions asked. She should pay for 19% of the college expenses ($70,000 / $370,000 = 0.19). A decent woman would contribute her fair share like that. A decent woman would also not siphon off dad's money to pay for her mortgage or personal expenses when her kid is in college.

I agree with above calculations: but it’s wishful thinking dads are paying that way. They don’t in 80% cases

[Anonymous]

My personal experience was that you can’t take out student loans to pay for all of your college expenses. If your parents make enough money that you don’t qualify for government loans and/or school financial aid, then your options are ROTC or a much cheaper school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

Actually it’s not. It is a percentage of dads income. Child can go sta6 with dad. Child is not a roommate. It does not cost 50% for child. When child moves out, then what?

You're not reading, when the child moves out of course mortgage of a parent is not paid from CS. When the child resides with the parent, it's totally legit to do so. In fact, I advise my child to remain at my house until age 21 while in college, to save both on mortgage and his college living expenses. Maryland CS expenses charts all include rent/mortgage and 50% of it for the 50% the child resides with parent is the "child" expense/need that is taken into account when determining CS. Children don't get free housing, you know.

So you’re depriving him of a regular college experience so you can get mortgage payments. You are slimy.

Really horrible to take your child’s money for your needs. It is not half. You are greedy and justifying your terrible behavior. That money should be going to your child, not you. Kid should go live with dad.

Kid doesn’t want to live with dad. As of now I pay for all major expenses. What I am saying is that even when in college kids do share to some extend same household with parent they are more close with. Thus dads complaining that mom spent some of CS on child clothing, avia fare, her mortgage (I am not saying 100%) instead of sending it to college tuition are wrong. These dads if they make more should be paying more towards college . My CS is $1000/month it’s not enough for anything in college regardless

The problem is that these dads are paying more for college than the mom AND are also sending CS to the mom to spend as she pleases. That CS money should go 100% to the kids college.

It is absolute BS that the mom spends any CS on her mortgage after the kids go to college. If she can afford that mortgage for the 9 months when the kids are away at school then she does not need it when the kids are home for the summer.

NO that dad above pays $2100/month which is not sufficient for a good US college and he thinks this exhausts his college obligations. A good dad won't count his peanut CS at all and just pay for college if he's paid more than mom. If mom is making 70k and he's making 300K, he should pay for college no questions asked. Any decent guy would do that. No what they do is shifting college to kids or low paid mother pretending like CS would solve the issue. It wont as CS didn't include college expenses into consideration. It was for the child while the child resides with custodian parents

Absolutely disagree he should pay for everything no questions asked. She should pay for 19% of the college expenses ($70,000 / $370,000 = 0.19). A decent woman would contribute her fair share like that. A decent woman would also not siphon off dad's money to pay for her mortgage or personal expenses when her kid is in college.

I agree with above calculations: but it’s wishful thinking dads are paying that way. They don’t in 80% cases

Paying what way? You're saying divorced dads who make $300k are paying nothing, 80% of the time? Sorry, don't believe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

[Anonymous]

With all due respect to the people in this thread who have shared their experience dealing with their parents' divorce as young adults, it's very hard for me to believe that a 4yo or a 16yo is better equipped to handle this than a 20-25yo. You can make an argument for why any stage of life is bad to have your parents divorce, because having your parents divorce is bad. But fundamentally, kids leave home to go to college because that is the point at which our society says that they are ready to have independent lives. In most circumstances, waiting until the youngest is a junior or senior in college will be the way to make the best of a bad situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom. Conjecture

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations. That's your interpretation and issue. Not the thread's or even the post you were referring to about dads not paying for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom. Conjecture ["you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages" is also conjecture]

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations. That's your interpretation and issue. Not the thread's or even the post you were referring to about dads not paying for college. [Directly responsive to many posts in the thread that contend that divorced moms who make less than divorced dads should not have to pay for college and should still get CS for kid living expenses]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom. Conjecture ["you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages" is also conjecture]

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations. That's your interpretation and issue. Not the thread's or even the post you were referring to about dads not paying for college. [Directly responsive to many posts in the thread that contend that divorced moms who make less than divorced dads should not have to pay for college and should still get CS for kid living expenses]

This doesn't make sense. CS only goes up to age 18. So it would go to another child, not the one in college. So yes, I agree with them.

Besides CS is pretty low, particularly in Virginia. It's made for people in Western Virginia to be able to afford it. CS covers the cost of food, clothes, and doctor's visits and that's it in the DC area for me. It's barely anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to court if you don’t like your CS or whatever agreements.

Yes, that's exactly what jerk dads tell instead of paying for college

More importantly when you spend $50k to go to court, that's $50k you should have used to pay for your kids college.

Look. At some point, people need to divorce if it's unhealthy. The spouses aren't martyrs. They don't need to live on the streets just so junior can go to college. And you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages.

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom.

And "abuse" is something that's usually invented retroactively to justify a decision to divorce merely out of boredom. Conjecture ["you are way off on the amount of abuse that goes on in many marriages" is also conjecture]

The issue here is divorced moms who are not living on the street but still think they shouldn't have to pay anything for their kids' college educations. That's your interpretation and issue. Not the thread's or even the post you were referring to about dads not paying for college. [Directly responsive to many posts in the thread that contend that divorced moms who make less than divorced dads should not have to pay for college and should still get CS for kid living expenses]

This doesn't make sense. CS only goes up to age 18. So it would go to another child, not the one in college. So yes, I agree with them.

Besides CS is pretty low, particularly in Virginia. It's made for people in Western Virginia to be able to afford it. CS covers the cost of food, clothes, and doctor's visits and that's it in the DC area for me. It's barely anything.

CS is through age 21 in DC. My lawyer told me parent can spend it on legitimate child expenses like travel, prorated housing with the parent when not in college etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.