Married and infatuated with coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

A lot of the time the wife is cheating too or would be cheating if she could.

His wife seems like a nice person, it’s just that he is highly educated and she is not at all. She doesn’t even have a degree, I don’t see what they even have in common. It’s none of my business, I am curious though. She seems so boring, cookie cutter and predictable, and maybe he actually is too.

I mean, most of us are boring, cookie cutter and predictable in our way. We are a bunch of educated dc suburbanites, we are cookie cutter. Op, are you really that much more exciting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

How are you different from her? You posted here you got married because You couldn’t support yourself, you felt like you needed to have a nice marriage and have kids and live in the suburbs. Aren’t you pretty drone-y too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

A lot of the time the wife is cheating too or would be cheating if she could.

His wife seems like a nice person, it’s just that he is highly educated and she is not at all. She doesn’t even have a degree, I don’t see what they even have in common. It’s none of my business, I am curious though. She seems so boring, cookie cutter and predictable, and maybe he actually is too.

I mean, most of us are boring, cookie cutter and predictable in our way. We are a bunch of educated dc suburbanites, we are cookie cutter. Op, are you really that much more exciting?

Yes, I am probably boring, I guess in a way, I try to stay fresh and continue learning and keeping up to date on various things, I have a very stressful yet fulfilling career. I hate to think that I am only a wife and a mom, I am so so much more than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

Your intuition is strong? With all due respect you sound like you were very naive about dating and men. Intuition comes from wisdom and experience usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

How are you different from her? You posted here you got married because You couldn’t support yourself, you felt like you needed to have a nice marriage and have kids and live in the suburbs. Aren’t you pretty drone-y too?

My main goal in life wasn’t to land a rich dude, have a fairytale wedding and have ‘his babies’. I never ever wanted that. Yes, i wanted companionshipand to connect with someone of substance, someone intelligent, sharp. I found that, but without any chemistry, my dh is most likely on the spectrum as well. Not that I believe I am better than his wife, just different. I am not so cookie cutter in my ideas and values. But again, he may be more boring than she appears to be.

[Anonymous]

Pp here… or I should say *good* intuition that’s actually right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

Your intuition is strong? With all due respect you sound like you were very naive about dating and men. Intuition comes from wisdom and experience usually.

I am almost a decade older than this guy, I think I got this. I’m not new to reading people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

How are you different from her? You posted here you got married because You couldn’t support yourself, you felt like you needed to have a nice marriage and have kids and live in the suburbs. Aren’t you pretty drone-y too?

My main goal in life wasn’t to land a rich dude, have a fairytale wedding and have ‘his babies’. I never ever wanted that. Yes, i wanted companionshipand to connect with someone of substance, someone intelligent, sharp. I found that, but without any chemistry, my dh is most likely on the spectrum as well. Not that I believe I am better than his wife, just different. I am not so cookie cutter in my ideas and values. But again, he may be more boring than she appears to be.

So how well do you actually know him and his “ideas and values” if you have to guess about them? This sounds like just limerence. It isn’t someone crushing on their best friend at work that they’ve gone through a lot of crap with and seen angry, or a childhood friend that grew up with them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

Your intuition is strong? With all due respect you sound like you were very naive about dating and men. Intuition comes from wisdom and experience usually.

I am almost a decade older than this guy, I think I got this. I’m not new to reading people.

You’re a decade older?! Yeah not going to work out. If these things work out the woman is almost always younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

Your intuition is strong? With all due respect you sound like you were very naive about dating and men. Intuition comes from wisdom and experience usually.

I am almost a decade older than this guy, I think I got this. I’m not new to reading people.

You’re a decade older?! Yeah not going to work out. If these things work out the woman is almost always younger

Not a decade but more than 5 years, he looks my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

How are you different from her? You posted here you got married because You couldn’t support yourself, you felt like you needed to have a nice marriage and have kids and live in the suburbs. Aren’t you pretty drone-y too?

My main goal in life wasn’t to land a rich dude, have a fairytale wedding and have ‘his babies’. I never ever wanted that. Yes, i wanted companionshipand to connect with someone of substance, someone intelligent, sharp. I found that, but without any chemistry, my dh is most likely on the spectrum as well. Not that I believe I am better than his wife, just different. I am not so cookie cutter in my ideas and values. But again, he may be more boring than she appears to be.

So how well do you actually know him and his “ideas and values” if you have to guess about them? This sounds like just limerence. It isn’t someone crushing on their best friend at work that they’ve gone through a lot of crap with and seen angry, or a childhood friend that grew up with them

I don’t know too much about him, I would like to get to know him better but I can’t. He seems to be intelligent, has a decent career, seems to be a great dad. I talk with him occasionally, at school functions etc., albeit very briefly, and I like him. Maybe it’s limerance or whatever, but who cares. Don’t many successful relationships begin with limerance?

[Anonymous]

Np
It's always the old married guys who believe their advances are desirable. Op, make sure you are not delusional, even if you feel you see signs try to access an alternate perspective. You are the female version of this trope and think you are special and not "cookie cutter"

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Usually everyone in these situations is a mess.

I am unhappy in my marriage and super attracted to a married man but I am far from a mess. My intuition is strong and I feel a definite connection with him. His wife seems to be one of those women who’s main goal in life was to land a successful dude and have a fairytale wedding. she got what she wanted, and now just sits back and enjoys all the fruits of his labor. Her identity is wife to her DH and a mommy and that’s it. She seems to lack any substance. Of course I could be wrong or he may very well be a mindless drone himself.

Your intuition is strong? With all due respect you sound like you were very naive about dating and men. Intuition comes from wisdom and experience usually.

I am almost a decade older than this guy, I think I got this. I’m not new to reading people.

You’re a decade older?! Yeah not going to work out. If these things work out the woman is almost always younger

Not a decade but more than 5 years, he looks my age.

Do you know the actual age difference or are you guessing again? You don’t know him at all