Married and infatuated with coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who acted on the feelings. Don’t do it OP, it’s not real. Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel. In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit. He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy. Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband. He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later. The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible. My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done. No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy. My XH was better looking and a better catch. But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving. I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that. Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.

I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really, after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship .

Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time. I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.

Ok if you NEVER had it, then you need to leave. That isn't healthy. I can safely say you won't regret leaving if this is the case.

I have small children and feel obligated to raise them in an intact family. How is it unhealthy to stay? other than the fact I will always long for a romantic partner, I’m not happy, but I made my bed. I willingly went into this. My husband isn’t a bad guy, there’s just no spark and never has been. Where would I even begin alone, mid 40s with small kids, i am cute but am no catch. I would have to be delusional to believe that I could find a decent man at this point. I have a crush on a married man who, for all I know, is most likely madly in love with his wife.

If you never had a passionate love affair, I would just take a chance and go for it. You cannot just go to the grave without ever experiencing that.

This is one of the stupidest posts I’ve ever read on this website full of stupid posts.

No, OP, derailing your entire life for good sex is not a good idea. At least dump your husband first.

And you are not even sure the sex will be good. Lol. It would be too late when you find out if it was worth it.

Exactly, it’s all hypothetical. I fantasize about going on a date with him, where we would go, what we would do, talk about. I have it all planned out, I want to get to know him, he seems like an awesome beautiful person. But it’s all in my head, it’s an unrealistic fantasy, he could be a huge ahole in reality.

I was about to say this.

But even more, if the sex is good, I don't think you would be one and done. You sound super into him. If you could be like a dude and have sex with and then compartmentalize then sure give it a shot..

Also, don't be so sure he will be your brakes. In my experience, most men will cheat if they get away with it and many aren't even having sex at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who acted on the feelings. Don’t do it OP, it’s not real. Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel. In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit. He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy. Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband. He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later. The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible. My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done. No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy. My XH was better looking and a better catch. But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving. I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that. Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.

I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really, after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship .

Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time. I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.

Ok if you NEVER had it, then you need to leave. That isn't healthy. I can safely say you won't regret leaving if this is the case.

I have small children and feel obligated to raise them in an intact family. How is it unhealthy to stay? other than the fact I will always long for a romantic partner, I’m not happy, but I made my bed. I willingly went into this. My husband isn’t a bad guy, there’s just no spark and never has been. Where would I even begin alone, mid 40s with small kids, i am cute but am no catch. I would have to be delusional to believe that I could find a decent man at this point. I have a crush on a married man who, for all I know, is most likely madly in love with his wife.

If you never had a passionate love affair, I would just take a chance and go for it. You cannot just go to the grave without ever experiencing that.

This is one of the stupidest posts I’ve ever read on this website full of stupid posts.

No, OP, derailing your entire life for good sex is not a good idea. At least dump your husband first.

I am the author of the "stupid post." Some people, like I sense with the OP, are struggling to continue living a life of quiet desperation with no passionate outlet. She has a choice with pros and cons, it is not so clear cut as you make it out to be. Our lives are short, and the period of our lives where we can truly feel in lust or in love are vanishingly brief. To give up on ever experiencing that feeling once in life is not a small sacrifice.

Oh noes!! Quiet desperation! Next you’ll tell me you have to wake up at 7 am but you’re *actually a night person!*

Grow up, at least for the sake of your kids.

Ok, not pp here but can we at least acknowledge that many people are trapped in unhappy and unfulfilling marriages? I have lived a lie, so to speak, for 20 years, hate to keep comparing this, but if I were gay and in this position it would be encouraged, applauded even. Since I am a straight woman desiring a married man, I am told to grow up, welcome to reality, told I am having a midlife crisis. It’s a painful position to be in, deeply hurtful and depressing. It’s as real as a person coming out as gay later in a marriage.

I totally sympathize. I am in the same boat. I promise you, most married couples do not have a passionate love and sex life. Some do but it's rare.

It's midlife crisis for a reason because we are all at the age where time is running out for the hormones and being in good enough shape to go on vacation and make passionate love all weekend. Now or never!

My kingdom for a hot affair 😍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who acted on the feelings. Don’t do it OP, it’s not real. Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel. In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit. He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy. Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband. He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later. The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible. My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done. No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy. My XH was better looking and a better catch. But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving. I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that. Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.

I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really, after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship .

Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time. I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.

Ok if you NEVER had it, then you need to leave. That isn't healthy. I can safely say you won't regret leaving if this is the case.

I have small children and feel obligated to raise them in an intact family. How is it unhealthy to stay? other than the fact I will always long for a romantic partner, I’m not happy, but I made my bed. I willingly went into this. My husband isn’t a bad guy, there’s just no spark and never has been. Where would I even begin alone, mid 40s with small kids, i am cute but am no catch. I would have to be delusional to believe that I could find a decent man at this point. I have a crush on a married man who, for all I know, is most likely madly in love with his wife.

I disagree with the above poster who says that you need to leave. I had a wild passion for my husband and our marriage is now companionate and platonic, and I’m ok with that. His happiness is precious to me, even if I don’t have some lust or butterflies. My children’s happiness is important to me too, and they adore their dad.

I ALSO have a crush on a coworker but I would never act on it because I’m not going to betray my family. This is my life and it’s a good life full of laughter and fun and not a ton of sex and that’s ok.

Because unlike these other idiots, you had those same feelings with your spouse. You lived that passion. These idiots that settled now have some hormones and want to go out and wreck marriages. It's their fault they settled. If they hadn't, they would have experienced this lust and know when crushes arise, they are just crushes...not life ending decisions or reasons to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

[Anonymous]

And this thread is why I am so glad my husband and I both work from home full-time. We just go bang each other in the middle of the day when our teens are in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who acted on the feelings. Don’t do it OP, it’s not real. Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel. In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit. He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy. Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband. He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later. The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible. My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done. No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy. My XH was better looking and a better catch. But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving. I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that. Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.

I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really, after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship .

Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time. I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.

Ok if you NEVER had it, then you need to leave. That isn't healthy. I can safely say you won't regret leaving if this is the case.

I have small children and feel obligated to raise them in an intact family. How is it unhealthy to stay? other than the fact I will always long for a romantic partner, I’m not happy, but I made my bed. I willingly went into this. My husband isn’t a bad guy, there’s just no spark and never has been. Where would I even begin alone, mid 40s with small kids, i am cute but am no catch. I would have to be delusional to believe that I could find a decent man at this point. I have a crush on a married man who, for all I know, is most likely madly in love with his wife.

I disagree with the above poster who says that you need to leave. I had a wild passion for my husband and our marriage is now companionate and platonic, and I’m ok with that. His happiness is precious to me, even if I don’t have some lust or butterflies. My children’s happiness is important to me too, and they adore their dad.

I ALSO have a crush on a coworker but I would never act on it because I’m not going to betray my family. This is my life and it’s a good life full of laughter and fun and not a ton of sex and that’s ok.

Because unlike these other idiots, you had those same feelings with your spouse. You lived that passion. These idiots that settled now have some hormones and want to go out and wreck marriages. It's their fault they settled. If they hadn't, they would have experienced this lust and know when crushes arise, they are just crushes...not life ending decisions or reasons to cheat.

This. I don't get all this drama over hormones. I mean, really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who acted on the feelings. Don’t do it OP, it’s not real. Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel. In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit. He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy. Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband. He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later. The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible. My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done. No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy. My XH was better looking and a better catch. But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving. I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that. Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.

I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really, after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship .

Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time. I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.

Ok if you NEVER had it, then you need to leave. That isn't healthy. I can safely say you won't regret leaving if this is the case.

I have small children and feel obligated to raise them in an intact family. How is it unhealthy to stay? other than the fact I will always long for a romantic partner, I’m not happy, but I made my bed. I willingly went into this. My husband isn’t a bad guy, there’s just no spark and never has been. Where would I even begin alone, mid 40s with small kids, i am cute but am no catch. I would have to be delusional to believe that I could find a decent man at this point. I have a crush on a married man who, for all I know, is most likely madly in love with his wife.

I disagree with the above poster who says that you need to leave. I had a wild passion for my husband and our marriage is now companionate and platonic, and I’m ok with that. His happiness is precious to me, even if I don’t have some lust or butterflies. My children’s happiness is important to me too, and they adore their dad.

I ALSO have a crush on a coworker but I would never act on it because I’m not going to betray my family. This is my life and it’s a good life full of laughter and fun and not a ton of sex and that’s ok.

Because unlike these other idiots, you had those same feelings with your spouse. You lived that passion. These idiots that settled now have some hormones and want to go out and wreck marriages. It's their fault they settled. If they hadn't, they would have experienced this lust and know when crushes arise, they are just crushes...not life ending decisions or reasons to cheat.

I settled because I had no better options, that’s just the truth. I didn’t have much of a social life, this was over 20 years ago, online dating didn’t exist. I barely could afford to live on my own. I have lived long enough to see that I am rarely attracted to people, when I finally find someone who I have chemistry with it feels amazing and I only wish i could pursue it. You are blessed in that you have chemistry with your spouse, that’s great that it was completely reciprocal, wow I wish I had that. It wasn’t in the cards for me and I have regrets of not staying single longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

You’re right. I am damaged for some reason, I placed my education and career before meeting a spouse and that was a mistake. For the record, I have never actually cheated or stolen anyone’s husband. I feel horrible that I am in this current situation, I am not a loser, I could be a great partner for someone, I am a great partner for my dh and a parent for mu kids but I am not happy at all and I feel phony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never done this. But I have a new coworker and we just click. In every sense. He makes me feel like I’m 18 again with my first love…. Not the middle age married soccer mom that I am now. I’m deeply infatuated.

My marriage is blah, but DH is a nice guy. Coworker is also married, lives a plane ride away (we travel together sometimes), and while he shows signs of interest we both try hard not to acknowledge it - though I’m the one who holds back. It’s hard because we have to work together and I’m constantly coming up with excuses why I can’t collaborate when the reality is that I can only think of NSFW stuff when he calls and we are supposed to be reviewing spreadsheets…

It’s distracting and I want it to end this feeling and either a) move on with my boring dead marriage existence of driving kids to suburban soccer games or b) just do this already. But, I don’t feel like I can let my guard down because I could be wrong - he could just be nice and I’m interpreting nice as something more.

Any advice from someone who has been there done that?

I’m thinking of getting therapy.

Meh. Form a clear mental image of him taking a nice big dump. Or leaving his toenail clippings laying around.

Take a look at the bolded. THIS is why you don't want to go for it-- fear of rejection? Rather than fear of losing your marriage...

Avoid him as much as you can, and focus on therapy and your marriage.

You post this frequently and I just want to let you know that “imagine him taking a dump,” is not helpful advice, ok? It just isn’t.

It sounds like OP is falling into limerence, which is objectifying the coworker because of how he makes her feel. OP is not really thinking of him as a person at all, but rather a vehicle that makes her feel things. It’s an inherently selfish and immature way to think about the people around you. Make a choice OP, either your marriage and kids or this guy who might not even want you.

No, I have never posted it before, actually. Someone else did, though, and when i read it actually did help me. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

A lot of the time the wife is cheating too or would be cheating if she could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

A lot of the time the wife is cheating too or would be cheating if she could.

No. That’s just what cheaters think to justify it. Not everyone does it or would even consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

Ha! I know his wife and honestly, sadly she seems to be not all there…or heavily medicated or something. It’s so bizarre. She barely speaks.

Oh yeah you are so much better than her This post just reinforces what the pp said about these ow (and ow wannabes) constantly focusing and denigrating his wife. It’s a sick game and how they try to get self esteem.

Both can be true. Usually the wife is a dope and nothing special and usually the ow is a manipulator who is hotter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a taboo, forbidden thing? Why can’t I go on a date with another man and still have an intact family at home? Why can’t we have both? I feel that I can love more than one person in different ways, but it’s still love. If my dh had a gf on the side who was discrete and trustworthy and healthy I honestly don’t know if I would care or feel anything at all.

That’s something you can discuss with your DH but in reality most people could not tolerate such an arrangement.

I told my DH about a coworker crush and he practically went insane with insecurity and jealousy.

No, you’re right, it wouldn’t work, but it’s all because of feelings, jealousy and possessiveness. My dh would throw me and my belongings out into the street if I merely suggested this arrangement, I could never even mention a crush to him. On the flip side, I am terribly jealous of my crush’s wife, and constantly compare myself to her and wonder what drew them both together. I want to be better than her.

Said: every.otherwoman.out there.

Just disgusting. Every OW I know wants to be the wife and is in a secret competition with someone that doesn't even know they exist. She already won. She's not a disgusting cheater banging (or lobbying ) to bang other people's husbands. She is above you...and that's why, even if he banged you, he would never respect you enough to be with you because you are tainted, and a lying cheat, unlike his wife.

A lot of the time the wife is cheating too or would be cheating if she could.

His wife seems like a nice person, it’s just that he is highly educated and she is not at all. She doesn’t even have a degree, I don’t see what they even have in common. It’s none of my business, I am curious though. She seems so boring, cookie cutter and predictable, and maybe he actually is too.