Wife constantly talking about how much men suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No, I'm just a woman who's 5'4" and doesn't want a guy hulking over me.

The only people who use the word "manlet" are self-hating incels. Yes, lots of women are nasty about height, and it isn't right, but even they and your precious "Chad"s don't have the hatred for shorter men that you do for yourselves. "Cope" and "manlet" are classic incel giveaways.

Screeching about incels is a classic obese barren cat lady giveaway.

Even an obese cat lady can get laid, assho0le!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, many , many, many men do suck - in all corners of women’s lives - male colleagues, bosses, peers, relatives members of the public. It deeply affects the quality and trajectory of our lives. If you can’t recognize that and instead feel threatened by it, think your wife should just keep quiet about it, or if you feel obligated to stick up for sucky men just because they are your male brethren, then, TBH, there is something wrong with you and you should do some serious self-reflection.

And if you’re about to respond - but I don’t suck and I’m a man so why should I tolerate being lumped in with all the men? Well, that means you do not even begin to recognize the immense male privilege you have benefitted from every second of your life since you were born.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plenty of women don’t want to be with somebody who is 12 inches taller. DH has six inches on me, which makes him 5’7 and it’s perfect.

lmao you have no idea how many women on the apps say "you must be over 6 foot" when the woman herself is 5' 0" or 5' 2".

I have never, ever seen a woman on the apps put an upper limit of any kind on men's height - "sorry you can't be over 5' 7" uh huh that sht just don't happen.

I don't put negative stuff on my profile. I want someone who is fit, but I'm not going to write "no fatties", like rude people do.
I do say that I prefer shorter men though, and I'll swipe left if there's a height noted and it's over 5'10'.

[Anonymous]

I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No, I'm just a woman who's 5'4" and doesn't want a guy hulking over me.

The only people who use the word "manlet" are self-hating incels. Yes, lots of women are nasty about height, and it isn't right, but even they and your precious "Chad"s don't have the hatred for shorter men that you do for yourselves. "Cope" and "manlet" are classic incel giveaways.

Screeching about incels is a classic obese barren cat lady giveaway.

This response literally made me lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

Yeah I don’t think it’s over the top to be talking about this 2-3 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

This is true.

But even if PP is right, how does it help the situation to rant at her husband and son that "men suck." This kills me about the progressive DC crowd, of which I'm a member: it is a circular firing squad. OP is obviously on his wife's side, and frankly, sounds like one of the good guys. Why is she directing all her attention at demoralizing the people around her rather than fighting back against the REALLY BAD people out there, some of whom are high level, important government officials and business leaders. I can see why OP is tired of it; the good guys hate what's happening too.

Plus, it's just intellectually lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But, many , many, many men do suck - in all corners of women’s lives - male colleagues, bosses, peers, relatives members of the public. It deeply affects the quality and trajectory of our lives. If you can’t recognize that and instead feel threatened by it, think your wife should just keep quiet about it, or if you feel obligated to stick up for sucky men just because they are your male brethren, then, TBH, there is something wrong with you and you should do some serious self-reflection.

And if you’re about to respond - but I don’t suck and I’m a man so why should I tolerate being lumped in with all the men? Well, that means you do not even begin to recognize the immense male privilege you have benefitted from every second of your life since you were born.

I am a woman, a very liberal woman for that matter. But I too don't like this idea that just because some men suck we are allowed to disparage all men. I also think its very unhealthy as a habit that women share with one another to make sweeping generalizations about male spouses (god no man can empty the dishwasher!) that contributes to great household gender inequality. No one should generalize about anyone. If you replaced men with basically anything else (women, trans people, lesbian, black people, chinese people, muslims) it would be universally abhorred. It doesn't feel good to be talked about like a statistic.

A) your analysis of what’s appropriate and what’s not needs some refining. You cannot just do a hypothetical and turn the tables to see if something is okay. It’s completely different for a white person to say they hate black people than it is for a black person to say they hate white people. The implications of white hatred toward Black people are violent and oppressive. For a black person to say he hates white people…that’s just kind of understandable.

B) PP didnt disparage all men! She qualified that’s she’s talking about many men, not all. But even the phrase “all men suck” is typically just a figure of speech. It’s hyperbole. It’s a way of saying “everywhere I turn I see a guy being a jerk!” It doesn’t need to be picked apart and taken literally.

It is different but it doesn't mean one is good and one is bad. Both are bad, gradients of bad but bad nonetheless.

I totally disagree with B, when you're talking to someone and tell them that some aspect of who they are 'sucks' then you're being a jerk full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

This is true.

But even if PP is right, how does it help the situation to rant at her husband and son that "men suck." This kills me about the progressive DC crowd, of which I'm a member: it is a circular firing squad. OP is obviously on his wife's side, and frankly, sounds like one of the good guys. Why is she directing all her attention at demoralizing the people around her rather than fighting back against the REALLY BAD people out there, some of whom are high level, important government officials and business leaders. I can see why OP is tired of it; the good guys hate what's happening too.

Plus, it's just intellectually lazy.

I think the bolded is something all of us struggle with in one way or another. The people around us are, by definition, close. The bad people are probably remote and may be just abstractions as far as day to day life goes. The anxiety is like a free floating charge looking for any kind of lightning rod. That anxiety has to be discharged somehow. It might not be entirely rational or do a lot of good, but what else are you going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

This is true.

But even if PP is right, how does it help the situation to rant at her husband and son that "men suck." This kills me about the progressive DC crowd, of which I'm a member: it is a circular firing squad. OP is obviously on his wife's side, and frankly, sounds like one of the good guys. Why is she directing all her attention at demoralizing the people around her rather than fighting back against the REALLY BAD people out there, some of whom are high level, important government officials and business leaders. I can see why OP is tired of it; the good guys hate what's happening too.

Plus, it's just intellectually lazy.

I think the bolded is something all of us struggle with in one way or another. The people around us are, by definition, close. The bad people are probably remote and may be just abstractions as far as day to day life goes. The anxiety is like a free floating charge looking for any kind of lightning rod. That anxiety has to be discharged somehow. It might not be entirely rational or do a lot of good, but what else are you going to do?

Not tear down the good people. It sounds like OP would be receptive to his wife discussing the myriad ways she feels stepped on by men, but he's (understandably, imo) sick of hearing her trash men in general. Why shoot at the good people? Save it for the bad ones. There are plenty of things she can do. But lazy ranting is not helping anyone and is tearing down the good people and good relationships in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

PP. Mine don’t say women are crazy. We do talk about sports a lot though. Went to a ball game with my friend on the weekend. There were a bunch of drunk hecklers behind us, throwing food and spilling beer everywhere. He kept apologizing to me for men being “such gross monkeys”.
Lots of guys are over toxic male behavior.

That's good to hear. I think men and boys getting the message that they also suffer from toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, etc. helps with this. Under our current patriarchal structures, a relatively small segment of men benefit from these toxic, aggressive behaviors. Most men and almost all women lose.

That’s what I try to do! Like my son is short and gets teased for it. It’s awful. But I explain to him that this is one result of toxic masculinity. We have an idea about how the ideal man should be (tall, for instance) and men and boys who don’t conform to that are denied that little bit of male privilege. Plus being small is a trait associated with women, and we teach men that female traits are bad, so any trait in a man that gets close to something feminine is ridiculed.

Women are worse at teasing short men than other guys are. Ever try to be in the dating scene at a 5’7 guy? You’ll get all sorts of insults. I feel bad for my brother in law. I’m 6’3 but my wife’s brother is 5’7 tops. He works out to compensate but it doesn’t matter. If your height begins with a 5 and you’re a guy have fun trying to score a girlfriend.

Obviously I know this. Everyone who has lived in a patriarchal society has seen both men and women ridicule short men for their height. I am married to a guy who is 5’7, my brother is 5’6, and my dad is 5’6. They all got teased in school.

Here is the thing: [i]women have internalized Misogyny too. [b]You see this all the time, not just in height but in the way some are turned on by the idea of a man making a lot of money (🤢) the way some women are turned off by a man crying or being a SAHD, etc. This is why if patriarchy were to be gone, it would be better for everybody.

By the way your wife’s brother should compensate with a better personality instead of trying to get more muscles. Lots of muscles is what men think women want, not what most women want.

No. It’s what women want. It’s not the patriarchal society. Also tall kids get teased just like short kids.

No woman is going to go for a short guy with muscles over a short guy with a good personality.

I think you have to say you will not go for that type of man but you can not talk for all women. Look at trump. You are repulsed by him but other women adore him. Look around you will see women and men you think are totally unattractive but are married. This is a preference thing not what the OP is talking about- his wife hate all men(but somehow does not include OP or their kids lol).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

I’m sadly not looking through the fun house mirror. It’s here in our bedrooms. I saw it almost instantly after Trump. He unleashed white male supremacy into the mainstream. Everyone sees it, even white men. Hence, your wife going crazy. She ain’t going back to 1950. She’s definitely not deferring to you as head of household… and maybe you don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

Ok, do something to stop it. No, griping at the nearest person isn’t doing something to stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are not actively and vocally part of the solution 24-7, you are part of the problem.

Stop it. This "with us or against us" ultimatum was bullshit when George W. Bush said it. It was bullshit when Ibram Kendi said it. And it's no better when you say it.

If you are actively and vocally fighting battle over race, gender, etc. 24-7, you ARE the problem.