Wife constantly talking about how much men suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be OP’s wife. There is a fascist zeitgeist sweeping America and it’s scary as hell. It’s tapping into macho masculinity, white supremacy, Christian evangelicals, militarism and will bring about the ruin of our great democracy via known propaganda tactics. Totalitarianism is coming unless we stop it. This is why your wife seems crazy. You don’t see the signs.

You're looking at America through a fun house mirror. The signs are there, but they are distorted and amplified by social media and cable news. Also, fretting endlessly to your husband isn't likely to do any good.

+1000

People who believe the CNN-induced hysteria are living in a very sick little bubble.

Turn off your devices and emerge from the quarantine already. The world is waiting, and it’s hardly the horror show the media paints it as.

Again, the message - just shut up about it.

My DH should be the person in the world who has my back. If I’m experiencing sexism in the world, I should be able to talk about it with him and have his empathy, concern, support and action.

Talk about your experiences, sure. Vent nightly about how furious you are at what you saw on the news, nah.

Yeah just turn your mind away from reality and everything will be ok. Talk about misogyny! “Poor little Woman just can’t handle the media” she needs to keep the blinders on lest she get confused.

Do you even hear yourself?

Straw man. He's not saying "turn your mind away from reality." It's that the distorted view of reality provided by social media and cable news isn't doing you any good. Go outside. Talk to your neighbors. See if the world as seen through your eyes is really as horrible as the world as seen through your screens.

Just talking to your neighbors is what gives you the distorted view of reality. Can you imagine if everyone did that? We would be so ignorant. There is a reason activists march and try to get attention in the news. If nobody knows about a problem nobody is going to do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what you mean by stark binary vs. regular binary. Yes, there are nuances but logical thinking is rooted in binary thinking. We pre-suppose some things we agree upon to then further rationalize a position using symbolic logic.

And yes, this results in hundreds of years of debate over the existence of God culminating in… faith.

I can’t imagine a logical argument anyone could defend rationally that women and POC are not oppressed worldwide today. Further, the rhetoric is escalating and women and POC see it and experience it at work, at home, at the gym, grabbing a coffee. Even something as mundane as little royal Luis shushing his Mom as the world coos, boys will be boys, tells us everything.

You think little Prince Louis is oppressing the Duchess of Cambridge? Lol, ok. Your logic really is something to behold.

Beyond that, yes, women and POC have been oppressed (some way more than others) "worldwide". But let me guess, you are an upper middle class professional woman -- probably a white woman. So you lump shabby treatment at the Starbucks into the same big pool as slavery and genocide so you can have your ticket to the oppression sweepstakes. Give me a break. And then you want to use this "logic" to spend all day everyday berating your progressive white male friends and family. Sure, do that, but (a) you are not helping the truly oppressed, so quit the self-righteous nonsense, (b) you are probably alienating the people most willing and able to help, and (c) you are just annoying as hell. Spend some time appreciating your privilege, doing something USEFUL to make a difference, and be nice to the people around you.

Oh, and one last thing, maybe "all men suck" in your worldwide, but the vast majority of men in the world have it way, way worse than you.

You are way out of touch if you think American women are complaining about Starbucks problems when they talk about sexism. My DD just graduated from HS, where girls have been dealing with sexual harassment and sexual assault since MS. It just gets worse from there.

The pp mentioned in her litany of "worldwide" oppression the treatment she gets going out for coffee. Any white UMC professional woman on this board is, on a "worldwide" scale, so powerful and well off, that is a joke that she would compare herself to the oppression experienced by others who have real problems. Anyone wants to rant and rave is welcome to do that, but it doesn't mean anyone has to care or listen if it is just complaining coming from a place of power.

Most men in the world are worse off than any of the women on this board.

What are you getting at here?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! Question: are you looking for validation for your frustration, or advice on how to make your situation better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what you mean by stark binary vs. regular binary. Yes, there are nuances but logical thinking is rooted in binary thinking. We pre-suppose some things we agree upon to then further rationalize a position using symbolic logic.

And yes, this results in hundreds of years of debate over the existence of God culminating in… faith.

I can’t imagine a logical argument anyone could defend rationally that women and POC are not oppressed worldwide today. Further, the rhetoric is escalating and women and POC see it and experience it at work, at home, at the gym, grabbing a coffee. Even something as mundane as little royal Luis shushing his Mom as the world coos, boys will be boys, tells us everything.

You think little Prince Louis is oppressing the Duchess of Cambridge? Lol, ok. Your logic really is something to behold.

Beyond that, yes, women and POC have been oppressed (some way more than others) "worldwide". But let me guess, you are an upper middle class professional woman -- probably a white woman. So you lump shabby treatment at the Starbucks into the same big pool as slavery and genocide so you can have your ticket to the oppression sweepstakes. Give me a break. And then you want to use this "logic" to spend all day everyday berating your progressive white male friends and family. Sure, do that, but (a) you are not helping the truly oppressed, so quit the self-righteous nonsense, (b) you are probably alienating the people most willing and able to help, and (c) you are just annoying as hell. Spend some time appreciating your privilege, doing something USEFUL to make a difference, and be nice to the people around you.

Oh, and one last thing, maybe "all men suck" in your worldwide, but the vast majority of men in the world have it way, way worse than you.

You are way out of touch if you think American women are complaining about Starbucks problems when they talk about sexism. My DD just graduated from HS, where girls have been dealing with sexual harassment and sexual assault since MS. It just gets worse from there.

The pp mentioned in her litany of "worldwide" oppression the treatment she gets going out for coffee. Any white UMC professional woman on this board is, on a "worldwide" scale, so powerful and well off, that is a joke that she would compare herself to the oppression experienced by others who have real problems. Anyone wants to rant and rave is welcome to do that, but it doesn't mean anyone has to care or listen if it is just complaining coming from a place of power.

Again, you are very out of touch with the reality of women in the US and on this board specifically - date rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment in school and on the job and in the street, pregnancy discrimination and job loss, domestic violence - I could go on and on.

Comparing US women as better off than other men in the world or in the US is irrelevant. Women are equal to men and we demand to be treated as such in every place and in every way. I have a daughter - do you really want me to tell her she shouldn’t complain about sexual assault because some men somewhere on the globe also experience sexual assault? That’s ridiculous.

Complaining every day about horrific events in the news to your friends or spouse is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what you mean by stark binary vs. regular binary. Yes, there are nuances but logical thinking is rooted in binary thinking. We pre-suppose some things we agree upon to then further rationalize a position using symbolic logic.

And yes, this results in hundreds of years of debate over the existence of God culminating in… faith.

I can’t imagine a logical argument anyone could defend rationally that women and POC are not oppressed worldwide today. Further, the rhetoric is escalating and women and POC see it and experience it at work, at home, at the gym, grabbing a coffee. Even something as mundane as little royal Luis shushing his Mom as the world coos, boys will be boys, tells us everything.

You think little Prince Louis is oppressing the Duchess of Cambridge? Lol, ok. Your logic really is something to behold.

Beyond that, yes, women and POC have been oppressed (some way more than others) "worldwide". But let me guess, you are an upper middle class professional woman -- probably a white woman. So you lump shabby treatment at the Starbucks into the same big pool as slavery and genocide so you can have your ticket to the oppression sweepstakes. Give me a break. And then you want to use this "logic" to spend all day everyday berating your progressive white male friends and family. Sure, do that, but (a) you are not helping the truly oppressed, so quit the self-righteous nonsense, (b) you are probably alienating the people most willing and able to help, and (c) you are just annoying as hell. Spend some time appreciating your privilege, doing something USEFUL to make a difference, and be nice to the people around you.

Oh, and one last thing, maybe "all men suck" in your worldwide, but the vast majority of men in the world have it way, way worse than you.

You are way out of touch if you think American women are complaining about Starbucks problems when they talk about sexism. My DD just graduated from HS, where girls have been dealing with sexual harassment and sexual assault since MS. It just gets worse from there.

The pp mentioned in her litany of "worldwide" oppression the treatment she gets going out for coffee. Any white UMC professional woman on this board is, on a "worldwide" scale, so powerful and well off, that is a joke that she would compare herself to the oppression experienced by others who have real problems. Anyone wants to rant and rave is welcome to do that, but it doesn't mean anyone has to care or listen if it is just complaining coming from a place of power.

Again, you are very out of touch with the reality of women in the US and on this board specifically - date rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment in school and on the job and in the street, pregnancy discrimination and job loss, domestic violence - I could go on and on.

Comparing US women as better off than other men in the world or in the US is irrelevant. Women are equal to men and we demand to be treated as such in every place and in every way. I have a daughter - do you really want me to tell her she shouldn’t complain about sexual assault because some men somewhere on the globe also experience sexual assault? That’s ridiculous.

Complaining every day about horrific events in the news to your friends or spouse is ridiculous.

OP said she did it 2-3 times a week.

What’s ridiculous is saying the solution is to ignore the problem because they aren’t the most oppressed people on earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what you mean by stark binary vs. regular binary. Yes, there are nuances but logical thinking is rooted in binary thinking. We pre-suppose some things we agree upon to then further rationalize a position using symbolic logic.

And yes, this results in hundreds of years of debate over the existence of God culminating in… faith.

I can’t imagine a logical argument anyone could defend rationally that women and POC are not oppressed worldwide today. Further, the rhetoric is escalating and women and POC see it and experience it at work, at home, at the gym, grabbing a coffee. Even something as mundane as little royal Luis shushing his Mom as the world coos, boys will be boys, tells us everything.

You think little Prince Louis is oppressing the Duchess of Cambridge? Lol, ok. Your logic really is something to behold.

Beyond that, yes, women and POC have been oppressed (some way more than others) "worldwide". But let me guess, you are an upper middle class professional woman -- probably a white woman. So you lump shabby treatment at the Starbucks into the same big pool as slavery and genocide so you can have your ticket to the oppression sweepstakes. Give me a break. And then you want to use this "logic" to spend all day everyday berating your progressive white male friends and family. Sure, do that, but (a) you are not helping the truly oppressed, so quit the self-righteous nonsense, (b) you are probably alienating the people most willing and able to help, and (c) you are just annoying as hell. Spend some time appreciating your privilege, doing something USEFUL to make a difference, and be nice to the people around you.

Oh, and one last thing, maybe "all men suck" in your worldwide, but the vast majority of men in the world have it way, way worse than you.

You are way out of touch if you think American women are complaining about Starbucks problems when they talk about sexism. My DD just graduated from HS, where girls have been dealing with sexual harassment and sexual assault since MS. It just gets worse from there.

The pp mentioned in her litany of "worldwide" oppression the treatment she gets going out for coffee. Any white UMC professional woman on this board is, on a "worldwide" scale, so powerful and well off, that is a joke that she would compare herself to the oppression experienced by others who have real problems. Anyone wants to rant and rave is welcome to do that, but it doesn't mean anyone has to care or listen if it is just complaining coming from a place of power.

Again, you are very out of touch with the reality of women in the US and on this board specifically - date rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment in school and on the job and in the street, pregnancy discrimination and job loss, domestic violence - I could go on and on.

Comparing US women as better off than other men in the world or in the US is irrelevant. Women are equal to men and we demand to be treated as such in every place and in every way. I have a daughter - do you really want me to tell her she shouldn’t complain about sexual assault because some men somewhere on the globe also experience sexual assault? That’s ridiculous.

Complaining every day about horrific events in the news to your friends or spouse is ridiculous.

OP said she did it 2-3 times a week.

What’s ridiculous is saying the solution is to ignore the problem because they aren’t the most oppressed people on earth.

OP referred to it as a "constant drumbeat" and "relentlessly negative" ranting about how "all men suck". Refraining from that is not ignoring the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP! Question: are you looking for validation for your frustration, or advice on how to make your situation better?

Ideally, I’d like to hear from people who faced similar issues and improved them. Barring that, I guess validation and advice of a more theoretical nature are both helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP! Question: are you looking for validation for your frustration, or advice on how to make your situation better?

Ideally, I’d like to hear from people who faced similar issues and improved them. Barring that, I guess validation and advice of a more theoretical nature are both helpful.

Have you tried telling her, in nicer terms, that her relentless negativity and blanket condemnation of men is getting you down, and that you worry about the effect on your son as well? I think you can say that in a way that makes it clear you want to discuss real issues, but that mere complaining or spouting off negativity needs to be ratcheted down. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of that, no matter how much they ultimately agree. I would guess that if she has close friends she complains to, they are sick of it, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP! Question: are you looking for validation for your frustration, or advice on how to make your situation better?

Ideally, I’d like to hear from people who faced similar issues and improved them. Barring that, I guess validation and advice of a more theoretical nature are both helpful.

Have you tried telling her, in nicer terms, that her relentless negativity and blanket condemnation of men is getting you down, and that you worry about the effect on your son as well? I think you can say that in a way that makes it clear you want to discuss real issues, but that mere complaining or spouting off negativity needs to be ratcheted down. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of that, no matter how much they ultimately agree. I would guess that if she has close friends she complains to, they are sick of it, too.

As somebody who is similar to your wife, I agree with this, but I would also say that just as somebody who supports her, it would be nice for you to do some independent learning of those real issues so the discussions about those real issues aren’t so one-sided. Maybe Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist or something by Emily Nagoski. And maybe get Justin Baldini’s book.