Friends family made cruel remarks about 4.5 yr old wearing pull-ups at night
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Sigh. Okay keep setting up your kid to be embarrassed and teased. Note nobody has a problem with an infant in a diaper. A 4 year old is not an infant. No matter how much you want to pretend otherwise. |
Anonymous
HIPPO, but didn't someone say the OP has more than one kid? I doubt they were 'allowing' their kid to run out without pants on. Unless she were somehow watching all her kids at the same time I feel like he likely just ran out of the room without the parents knowing, and happened to just have a diaper on. |
Anonymous
I'm so glad I have your permission to put my infant in a diaper! Hopefully you aren't scandalized if he wears a onesie over it with *gasp* no pants |
Anonymous
I find that look somewhat trashy, as if you don’t have the time or money to put on pants, but you do you. |
Anonymous
Where did I say it was okay to mock him? I'm just saying that calling it a "pull-up" doesn't make it not a diaper; i.e., something you can poop and pee in. "Pull-ups" are a form of diaper that you can pull up, but they are still a form of diapers. You don't mock kids for it, obviously, but the term isn't as incorrect as people make it out to be. Kids want to call it something different, but that doesn't make it something substantively different. If you are going to call Depends something else, it's "adult diaper," not "adult pull-up." Doesn't mean you should mock someone for wearing them, but "adult pull-up" is ludicrous. |
Anonymous
|
I do not think it is strange for a kid to run around in diapers. What is odd is the age of the child in diapers. Particularly for a middle schooler. Diapers are associated with babies so she was probably confused as to why an almost kindergartner was in diapers. And yes, pull-ups are diapers with a "nicer" name. A MS has likely never had to care for a kid in diapers, or doesn't remember the youngest siblings' potty habits, so what would you expect. This is far from cruel or malicious. I think OP is projecting her own insecurities in having her 5 yr old in diapers at night.
Yes, it is a tad old to be in night time diapers but I'm sure tons of parents in the US still have their K, 1st, 2nd graders in diapers. I mean, they make those pull ups for up to 50 lbs. Come on, parents! |
Anonymous
OP characterized the comments as "cruel" and "mean-spirited." That's unquestionably assigning malicious intent. Add to that her breathless characterization of the conversation, and the fact that she thinks this is a VERY BIG DEAL . . . |
Anonymous
I fail to see how a 5 year old is too old to be in diapers at night. I used to work with hundreds of kids, and I promise you, there are a LOT of 7, 8, even 10 year olds, particularly boys, that are still wearing pull ups or something of the sort at night. It's not discussed much amongst parents, but I promise that doesn't mean it's at all unusual. Most sensible pediatricians wouldn't even be phased that a kid this age wasn't dry at night. |
Anonymous
|
Ok- so I'm a 40-something mom who had issues with bed wetting until I was way older than 5. There was a long family history and one of my two kids struggles with this as well.
It's normal and you should make sure your kid knows that, but also you need to be realistic. Just read this thread- there are plenty of ADULTS who are nasty about this, much less kids. But it's irrelevant that the 8th grader doesn't know that there are kids who are still in pull ups, or diapers, or whatever, past toddlerhood. She's well old enough to know that calling a child a baby or asking if he pees his pants is rude. My kids meet a lot of people with physical and emotional differences; people who talk differently, act differently, wear different clothes, eat different foods. It's never appropriate to point, laugh, make jokes at their expense, or put them on the spot by demanding to know why are the way they are. If the girl has questions about the bathroom habits of young children, she should know enough to wait until she is alone with her parents and ask. I'm fascinated at how readily people are willing to call bad parenting on the bed wetter, but have no issue with the parenting of a pre-teen or teen who talks down to a child who is years younger because, at bottom, he has different physical abilities or habits than she expects. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Even OP saying “cruel” is very dramatic. I don’t understand why OP an adult couldn’t just respond to the kid. Is she scared of a freaking adolescent? Just say “no it’s not unusual. We don’t want him to wet the bed.” That’s it. |
Anonymous
|
Y'all are nuts. My kid was not fully potty-trained at almost-4. But it was summer and it was hot as hell and we wanted to take him to the splash park. We worried about accidents in that specific settings for obvious reasons, so we'd put him in a swim diaper at the splash park, just so we didn't have to spend the entire time we were there stressing out about it. It was obvious he was wearing a swim diaper (disposable because he didn't even fit the reusable kind at that age). I'm sure people judged because that's what people do, but no one person, child or adult, ever said a word and DS had a great time and finished potty training not long after. People were friendly, kids still played with him, etc. Kids that age really don't care, and they've generally seen it all because there is such a broad range of potty training times, from as young as 18 mo to as old as 4 or 5 in a small number of kids. They don't judge unless someone teaches them to. Don't teach your kids to judge something like that! You are teaching them a cruel behavior. And also one day your kid will be the one late to a milestone and you will be grateful for the grace of others.
So reading these replies about how it is cruel to let a kid this age run around his own damn house in a pull-up he wears to bed? What on earth? Like I said: y'all are nuts. MYOB and better hope others don't treat you as harsh as you treat them. |
Anonymous
| Per our pediatrician, it is physiologically completely normal for kids to wet their beds (or pull-ups or diapers or whatever) until age 7 or even 8. Nighttime training is different than daytime training and there is no need to push or shame the child into reaching this milestone. It is physiological/developmental and will take care of itself. You don't need to do anything. |
Anonymous
The kid would have probably just said "oh ok" and put on her airpods and we wouldn't have a long ass thread on here. |
Anonymous
|
Haven't read through all of this thread, but:
As a mother to a 7, almost 8 year old that still wears Goodnites at night, every night...would just like to give a big middle finger, to everyone on here that is saying that a 5 year old kid is "too old" to be wearing a diaper at night. My DS is way older than the OP's, and would like nothing more than to be done with having accidents at night. A lot of incredibly judgemental, pointlessly cruel people on here. OP, if it makes your LO feel any better, you can tell him that and almost 8 year old said that he's awesome, and don't worry about it, he wears pull-ups too. |
Anonymous
|
OP is treating a 13 year old like an adult. Zero chance the kid can distinguish between pull-ups and diapers and, of course, a pull-up is a type of diaper. At that age, I thought of diapers as a done by 2 or 3 kind of thing and had no idea they kids wore them overnight long after they didn’t during the day. I had no idea how common it was, in fact, until my friends started having kids. It wasn’t at all a thing in my family though I totally understand it’s super common in other families because of the genetic component. I would guess this girl now thinks your kid wears a diaper all the time at age 5 and that’s what she was actually reacting to.
A kid running around in a diaper or underwear isn’t weird at all. If people think that as a general matter at a kids own house or with friends close enough to overnight with, they’re nuts. I think many people would be embarrassed that a 5 year old was still in diapers and so would specifically conceal them. That’s silly as there’s nothing embarrassing about a gene that makes your urine not concentrate until you’re older. That said, I’m a little surprised you didn’t realize this could be an issue since most 5 year olds don’t wear diapers anymore. |