Broke off an affair. Going through depression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you think perhaps you wish you were with her instead of your wife?

Of course he does he is in fantasy world, never had sex with her let alone real life day to day experiences. She is an escape from real life. He’s delusional.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I do. We were so compatible. We made each other laugh all the time and I felt I could tell her anything. I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I do. Maybe I’ll never get over this. I think she’s fixated on doing what’s best for her child, life and reputation. I’m trying my hardest to keep myself busy.

You should try your hardest to make some therapy appointment because you really need it. Your AP is not protecting her kid or reputation - she only ever used you to feel good about herself, and now that’s done. Your wife does not deserve this and I hope she serves you today. What you have done and said is beyond hurtful and insulting. Be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you think perhaps you wish you were with her instead of your wife?

Yes. I do. We were so compatible. We made each other laugh all the time and I felt I could tell her anything. I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I do. Maybe I’ll never get over this. I think she’s fixated on doing what’s best for her child, life and reputation. I’m trying my hardest to keep myself busy.

She sounds a lot smarter and more mature than you. So much so that I doubt this non relationship would work in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you think perhaps you wish you were with her instead of your wife?

Yes. I do. We were so compatible. We made each other laugh all the time and I felt I could tell her anything. I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I do. Maybe I’ll never get over this. I think she’s fixated on doing what’s best for her child, life and reputation. I’m trying my hardest to keep myself busy.

She sounds a lot smarter and more mature than you. So much so that I doubt this non relationship would work in real life.

NP here. OP, this is an important point. She was trying to be discreet and to proceed with an awareness of boundaries. It sounds to me like you’re in a self-destructive phase and you became a liability. Texting when she told you not to is a stupid way to blow this up. You still haven’t answered why your wife knows. If you’re the one who told her, that’s even more stupid. The number one rule of these things is that there’s more than two people involved, you seem to be very stubbornly clinging to the idea that your feelings should guide how this goes for everyone. It doesn’t work like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you think perhaps you wish you were with her instead of your wife?

Yes. I do. We were so compatible. We made each other laugh all the time and I felt I could tell her anything. I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I do. Maybe I’ll never get over this. I think she’s fixated on doing what’s best for her child, life and reputation. I’m trying my hardest to keep myself busy.

You got what you wanted out of it. I guarantee this is not how she’s thinking about you. You deliberately went against an agreement both of you had, for no reason whatsoever besides that you felt like it. Besides being disappointed that your little fun dalliance is now over forever she’s probably also pissed off at you for crossing the line and disregarding what she explicitly told you was important to her for the stability of her own life. You sitting there feeling sorry for yourself and not even thinking about how this affects her speaks volumes.

[Anonymous]

My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

If we don’t have emotional intelligence its easy to believe that our emotions will last a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]It absolutely kills especially since there is no closure[/b]. Her husband would divorce if she makes any contact. My wife also knows.
But it kills. We would speak daily and there is this big void in my life.
I don’t know how to move on. I know I messed up and owe my wife an apology but I’m also depressed and can’t move from the couch.

Sincere question--what would you consider to be "closure"????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

you are just pathetic and gross, but you know this. Here's hoping the husband comes over to knock your lights out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you think perhaps you wish you were with her instead of your wife?

Yes. I do. We were so compatible. We made each other laugh all the time and I felt I could tell her anything. I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I do. Maybe I’ll never get over this. I think she’s fixated on doing what’s best for her child, life and reputation. I’m trying my hardest to keep myself busy.

Fixated is an odd word choice to me.

OW has made it clear that her child is her PRIORITY, not you. That may sound harsh, OP, but come on, OW has a right to decide what is most important in her life and if you care about her as much as you claim to you will respect that.

Therapy is a great tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

you are just pathetic and gross, but you know this. Here's hoping the husband comes over to knock your lights out

Why? She entered into this willingly, clearly missing something in her own relationship. That’s not my fault. Perhaps I fell too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

Just liked the emotional support… yeah, I’m sure you did.

You handled this in an incredibly selfish way with respect to all people involved, and you aren’t even happy. You definitely seem to be in a let it all burn down phase and if I were a woman with a kid and husband I would be wary of ever talking to you again. You sound very lost and you need to get it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

you are just pathetic and gross, but you know this. Here's hoping the husband comes over to knock your lights out

Why? She entered into this willingly, clearly missing something in her own relationship. That’s not my fault. Perhaps I fell too hard.

Yes she did. But you understand that what you guys were doing would not be appreciated by her husband. Hence her boundaries around texting. When you texted her off hours you put both of you at risk, as what her husband decides to do of his own free will is up to him. See how that goes?

You sound like you’re only in love with yourself. Setting aside what you’ve done to your marriage, which it’s obvious you have resigned to fail, you weren’t even trying to care about or protect this woman you claim to have fallen for. I feel sorry for your wife. You gave up on the marriage a long time ago and this is your pathetic way of expressing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

Just liked the emotional support… yeah, I’m sure you did.

You handled this in an incredibly selfish way with respect to all people involved, and you aren’t even happy. You definitely seem to be in a let it all burn down phase and if I were a woman with a kid and husband I would be wary of ever talking to you again. You sound very lost and you need to get it together.

This. The OW dodged a bullet with this guy. His wife is not so lucky. OP, she really should divorce you. You are not a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows cause I told her for fear of her hearing from him. After all, we all know each other. Maybe I am in a self destructive phase. I just liked the emotional support she brought. I’m not trying to leave my wife but maybe I would have felt differently in a while. I could see this go on for months or years

you are just pathetic and gross, but you know this. Here's hoping the husband comes over to knock your lights out

Why? She entered into this willingly, clearly missing something in her own relationship. That’s not my fault. Perhaps I fell too hard.

You are such a laughingstock. She “entered into” having a pen pal for Christ’s sake. I really doubt much is missing in her relationship that would be filled by the likes of you. You are pathetic, truly.