Husband wants me to be a SAHM after I got fired…what would you do?

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03/16/2026 16:03

Subject: Husband wants me to be a SAHM after I got fired…what would you do?

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Anonymous

I just got fired from my most recent job, and my husband and I had a conversation. He said he thinks I’m a bad employee and that maybe I should just stay home. That really stung. He even said that maybe I’m just “not cut out for a career” and that he “wants someone more stable” to take care of the kids. He also mentioned that he feels like I’ve been “half-assing”, my jobs and that it’s affecting the family.

We have 9 year old twin boys, and financially, we could manage on his salary—he makes around $575k a year as a partner at a top law firm—but staying home would be a significant shift in our lifestyle.

Looking back, my work history has had some rough spots, and my husband brings up these past jobs as proof:
High school (I was 15): I worked at a retail store and was let go after I made a pretty immature decision. One night, I let my friends hang out in the back storage area after closing hours, even though I knew it wasn’t allowed. The manager caught us and said I was “irresponsible” for not following the rules. I was 15, and looking back, I can see it was a huge mistake to act so casually about something like that, but it was a real wake-up call for me.

College (student rec center job): I worked at the university recreation center, and I missed an early morning shift because I overslept and didn’t notice the schedule change email. They let me go for “reliability issues.” I was juggling school and work, and I honestly felt overwhelmed, but it wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, just a minor mistake while I was figuring things out.

Post-college : I worked for four years at a company. Toward the end, the company restructured, and my role shifted dramatically. The new expectations were much more fast-paced, and my manager said I wasn’t keeping up with the changes. I was let go after being told my work performance was “falling short.” It felt frustrating but not catastrophic; I learned a lot, and it wasn’t entirely a surprise.

Most recent job (fired a couple months year ago after 7 years): I worked for seven years at a company. The job started out great, but as time went on, my manager began expecting constant, detailed daily updates and rapid turnaround on tasks that kept shifting. There were times when she said I wasn’t being proactive enough or communicating well enough with the team. Eventually, HR got involved and told me they needed to let me go. It was a big blow to my confidence and really hit me hard.

I know my work history isn’t perfect, but it feels harsh to say I shouldn’t work at all because of it. I still like the idea of having my own career and income. At the same time, staying home while the kids are young sounds more and more appealing. I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s best for them and for me, and the idea of being home with the kids, especially with everything that’s happened, is starting to feel like the right choice.

Has anyone else dealt with a spouse pushing for SAHM because of work history? How did you handle that conversation, and how did you decide what was best for your family? I’m honestly leaning towards staying home right now, and just trying to embrace that decision even though it's a big shift.