fighting w/SO--is this normal or ok?
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Anonymous
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When my SO (we live together) and I get into an argument, often over trivial things, SO will get angry and call me names. They don't apologize about this afterwards. I've discussed this issue and said it's disrespectful, I don't do it even when angry, and it should stop. It hasn't. Do you think this is something worth breaking up over?
(I didn't post genders or ages because I don't think it's relevant who is doing the swearing, how old we are, and whether we're SS couple or not. Just want unfiltered opinions please  )
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Anonymous
| Yes. Dump them. |
Anonymous
Thanks. I think. I guess I shouldn't really ask if it's OK, it's not, but perhaps normal for some people. It's never been an issue in previous relationships, and not growing up either. Not that I'm perfect by any means. This just really bothers me. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it is something worth breaking up over. Calling names is not part of a healthy relationship. |
Anonymous
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How long have you been together? Is this a recent thing or been happening consistently? Not that it makes it OK, but if it has been happening suddenly after five years together, it might be worth figuring out why. Or not.
But if the relationship is fairly new, like you've only lived together for six months or a year, punch out. It's unhealthy and no new relationship should be going through that much drama so early on and definitely not with that kind of abusive twist to it. |
Anonymous
Do YOU think it is okay to stay with someone who calls you names when angry? Dating is supposed to be fun. Your SO doesn't seem fun or mature. |
Anonymous
| Swearing at someone and name-calling could actually be considered emotional abuse in a relationship. There is also the potential for escalation. That's not healthy or respectful, and is definitely something worth breaking up over. BIG red flag. |
Anonymous
| Calling names isn't ok and frequently fighting over "trivial" things also isn't normal. What are you getting from this relationship? |
Anonymous
| It’s never okay. |
Anonymous
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Nope. Not normal. End the relationship and get your own place. |
Anonymous
| The reality is that it happens occasionally in many relationships, but that doesn't make it okay. You deserve better than someone who treats you that way. Clearly, you don't bring out the best in each other, so break up. |
Anonymous
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How low is your self esteem?
Staying with someone who emotionally abuses you is not good. You’ve asked them to stop, and they haven’t. That’s not acceptable. But, you know how you show them it’s unacceptable? You BREAK UP with them when it happens. Mid start getting your ducks in a row regarding your living situation. And then I’d urge you to leave. |
Anonymous
Yes |
Anonymous
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I think this is something that’s a personal boundary thing. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, then you need to tell your SO that this is a big deal and you are willing to end the relationship over it.
I don’t think this is necessarily something that everyone would break up over though. Some people are more comfortable with swearing than others. Both swearing themselves and hearing others swear. |
Anonymous
| No. Next question. |