Kid Chose Boarding School at Hotchkiss. I'm Torn, Nervous, and Regretting It

[Anonymous]

My son was admitted to local private schools but also got into Hotchkiss School in Connecticut. We went on the revisit days, and he fell in love with the place. He wanted to go, and we have allowed it and accepted the offer there. However, I am nervous and don't want to lose my 14 year old son this soon. I am feeling like I made a mistake in letting my son pursue boarding school, but it's too late now. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Anonymous]

Boarding school (Groton) was the most traumatic experience of my life. Don't do it.
.

[Anonymous]

Let him try it for one year and he can come home if it's not a good fit.

Texting and web calls will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boarding school (Groton) was the most traumatic experience of my life. Don't do it.
.

My kid went to Choate and loves it. Boarding school can be life-changing for the right person. The education is unparalleled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him try it for one year and he can come home if it's not a good fit.

Texting and web calls will help.

This.

He’s excited about it, and will resent you if you pull the plug now, plus it may be too late for acceptance to a local alternative. Give it a year and see how you all do with it.

[Anonymous]

I felt so sick when my daughter went to boarding school. After a month, it was great. She was happier. I was happier.

[Anonymous]

These discussions should've been had months ago. You've already accepted your spot there. Just let him have a year in Connecticut.

He will probably love Hotchkiss, by the way. I have experience with the boarding school world, and Hotchkiss is renowned for their close-knit and warm student body and supportive staff. I don't think I've ever met a Hotchkiss alumnus that hated the place. Conversely, I always meet Exeter and Andover alumni that hated their schools.

[Anonymous]

I’m an Andover grad who feels that my years there were the best of my life! Going to boarding school was a fabulous decision for me and really shaped me as a person. I’ve gotten several jobs through my Andover connection.

But, I’m sure that my mom would have said something similar when I left for school. Think about how much easier it is to text and call now! If your child wants this opportunity, please let them fly.

[Anonymous]

People on this board always second guess every single decision they make, every boundary they set. If you weren't okay with him moving out at 14, you shouldn't have let him apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was admitted to local private schools but also got into Hotchkiss School in Connecticut. We went on the revisit days, and he fell in love with the place. He wanted to go, and we have allowed it and accepted the offer there. However, I am nervous and don't want to lose my 14 year old son this soon. I am feeling like I made a mistake in letting my son pursue boarding school, but it's too late now. Has anyone else experienced this?

Break it up into mental chunks. Sept to Thanksgiving. Then back two weeks and home for a month for Christmas. Just focus on the chunk in front of you.

Visit once or twice during the longer chunks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this board always second guess every single decision they make, every boundary they set. If you weren't okay with him moving out at 14, you shouldn't have let him apply.

How is this helpful to the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this board always second guess every single decision they make, every boundary they set. If you weren't okay with him moving out at 14, you shouldn't have let him apply.

+1. I will never understand the mindset that introduces this idea to a 12 or 13 year old child.

[Anonymous]

If you feel torn about it, don’t do it. You’ll always wonder “if”

[Anonymous]

I totally get how you might be feeling, OP. While I taught at a boarding/day school, we did not make the decision to send our children to one. I imagine your child will love the experience - it’s early independence, a sense of community, lifelong friendships made, and the thrill of moving away from home. They will surely be fine. Good luck with the adjustment. I really don’t know how parents find peace but seeing your child thrive will be gratifying.

[Anonymous]

Hotchkiss is much more prestigious and better than any DC private school. Your kid will get an incredible education and have a world of opportunities open to him.