DD applied "wrong"

[Anonymous]

She doesn't love any of her options. It was like pulling teeth having her apply at all. I blame myself now because I should have pushed much more and balls were dropped. Out of the 7 schools she got into, she is only feeling somewhat fine about one (which is a great school). Now I am thinking about all the "what ifs" and how I should have been fine being hated and stressing her out for a couple months to get her to apply more broadly.

[Anonymous]

She got into 7 schools. She’ll be fine at one of those 7. Don’t “what if” yourself into unhappiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She got into 7 schools. She’ll be fine at one of those 7. Don’t “what if” yourself into unhappiness.

Now she is talking about Majors more specifically, and some of the schools she didn't apply to are stronger than even the great school. So I am second-guessing. She was not ready and did not have a clear picture at the time it mattered most, and I should have done more for her.

[Anonymous]

If she is fine with one it sounds like she is going to college! You offered more help and she refused. She got accepted to more colleges than most people even apply to. She perhaps wouldn’t have been thrilled by ANY college, so adding more wouldn’t have changed her additude.

She will have to navigate this. It probably isn’t about the specific college at all, but about her feelings of going off to school, leaving home, growing up. She’ll have to work through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got into 7 schools. She’ll be fine at one of those 7. Don’t “what if” yourself into unhappiness.

Now she is talking about Majors more specifically, and some of the schools she didn't apply to are stronger than even the great school. So I am second-guessing. She was not ready and did not have a clear picture at the time it mattered most, and I should have done more for her.

You both are wallowing in your anxious feelings. It isn’t helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got into 7 schools. She’ll be fine at one of those 7. Don’t “what if” yourself into unhappiness.

Now she is talking about Majors more specifically, and some of the schools she didn't apply to are stronger than even the great school. So I am second-guessing. She was not ready and did not have a clear picture at the time it mattered most, and I should have done more for her.

You both are wallowing in your anxious feelings. It isn’t helping.

We're not talking about it. No point now. Yes, I am wallowing here!!

[Anonymous]

It makes no difference that some schools that she didn’t apply to are stronger in her desired major. 70% of kids change their major at least once. Just chill.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of students change their mind about majors. Don't choose a school based on one specific major. If she's happy with one of the schools she's accepted to, get excited about that one. It doesn't matter if some hypothetical additional school is "stronger" (whatever that means) in a specific major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The vast majority of students change their mind about majors. Don't choose a school based on one specific major. If she's happy with one of the schools she's accepted to, get excited about that one. It doesn't matter if some hypothetical additional school is "stronger" (whatever that means) in a specific major.

She's not thrilled, no. She's okay with it. She would absolutely be happier about some of the schools she didn't apply to. I am really kicking myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got into 7 schools. She’ll be fine at one of those 7. Don’t “what if” yourself into unhappiness.

Now she is talking about Majors more specifically, and some of the schools she didn't apply to are stronger than even the great school. So I am second-guessing. She was not ready and did not have a clear picture at the time it mattered most, and I should have done more for her.

You both are wallowing in your anxious feelings. It isn’t helping.

We're not talking about it. No point now. Yes, I am wallowing here!!

Is she worried/upset/anxious? It’s great if she’s not and you are just venting your anxiety here. Perfectly good use of DCUM!

OP, there is no “best” and no “worst” and no “righty” and “wrong” when it comes to college choice. So what that another school has a “better” program for a major she is talking about now? She’ll probably change her mind about major 5 more times before she graduates. It would be a shame to work yourself up now, make her anxious about her choice, make her frantically apply to rolling admissions schools…and then she changes her major!

Do you trust your daughter to handle some ups and downs? I do. I bet she’s going to do great.

[Anonymous]

Expectations management. The “perfect fit” and “absolutely loving it” expectations are not realistic or healthy. Every place has its downsides, no matter how boxes it may check off. The first semester is big adjustment period. Going into any college situation with balanced expectations will make things easier.

[Anonymous]

There’s still time to apply to different colleges. Look up ones she is interested in and see if there’s still time.

[Anonymous]

Is she actually ready for college if it was like pulling teeth to get her to apply and now she isn’t interested in any of her choices?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how she applied wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The vast majority of students change their mind about majors. Don't choose a school based on one specific major. If she's happy with one of the schools she's accepted to, get excited about that one. It doesn't matter if some hypothetical additional school is "stronger" (whatever that means) in a specific major.

She's not thrilled, no. She's okay with it. She would absolutely be happier about some of the schools she didn't apply to. I am really kicking myself.

This sounds more like anxiety/the grass is greener than a thought-out decision that another school would be better. It's your job to remind her why she chose to apply there in the first place.