DD applied "wrong"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s still time to apply to different colleges. Look up ones she is interested in and see if there’s still time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She got into 7 schools, what are complaining about?

Apparently just that she’s not excited about any of them.

OP, your job now isn’t self-flagellation. That doesn’t help anyone. Your job now is to help your daughter find ways to excited about one or more of the schools she’s been accepted to. Look for interesting courses in the course catalog, visit the school(s) again (especially for an accepted student event), find some fun/cool/cozy/whatever spots on campus or in town, brainstorm about dorm bedding and decorations, whatever - there are lots of things to look forward to. Help your daughter learn to find the positive in what she’s got. Acceptance to seven schools is an amazing accomplishment! Now help her get excited and pick from what she’s has, not lament over choices she didn’t make.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to assume this isn't a "this is anxiety" situation, and actually did apply to wrong schools.

1. Don't you still have RD schools to come?
2. Apply to more schools. Baylor, Wooster, Drew, RISD, Rollins, Sewanee, Michigan .. there are a host of schools w Feb 1 due dates and even more with March and April dates.
3. Apply to schools abroad. Other than the most highly selective schools, UK schools can still be applied to. One app for 5 schools via UCAS. European schools too.
4. Gap year.

[Anonymous]

There is also a transfer process if she tries her top choice and is not convinced.
It's a tough process for the whole family, yes, the whole family.

[Anonymous]

She got into a good school that she likes.

That was the goal of the whole process.

Take the win.

[Anonymous]

Definitely go to Accepted Students Day. They are geared to getting the kids excited.

[Anonymous]

There are many schools still taking applications - several good ones through Feb 1. It's not too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a couple "musts" to feel like a good parent. I didn't express these, but I knew them, and could relax and drawback from being overly involved once done: First: admission to an acceptable safety. Second: admission to 1 instate public (in case it turned out they didn't want to be far from home). Both DC ended up accepted and attended great schools, out of state, I never would have had on my radar. It was their process. But as parents, I think it's ok to insist and hover and push (within reason) for whatever it is that's going to help us feel calmer. We have emotional needs. It's ok to try to meet those, as long as the final decision on where they attend is theirs to make.

Our CC required exactly that. A true safety/likely that your kid likes and 2nd a safety that is within 6 hours from home. And make that one where if your kid changes their mind even in June/July, the school would still honor the admissions (so think state school with a 70% acceptance rate---they will still take you at any time in the next year). That way if you decide the other coast is just not you, you have a fall back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to assume this isn't a "this is anxiety" situation, and actually did apply to wrong schools.

1. Don't you still have RD schools to come?
2. Apply to more schools. Baylor, Wooster, Drew, RISD, Rollins, Sewanee, Michigan .. there are a host of schools w Feb 1 due dates and even more with March and April dates.
3. Apply to schools abroad. Other than the most highly selective schools, UK schools can still be applied to. One app for 5 schools via UCAS. European schools too.
4. Gap year.

No it's most likely an "anxiety situation" generated by FOMO with friends and the mom themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to assume this isn't a "this is anxiety" situation, and actually did apply to wrong schools.

1. Don't you still have RD schools to come?
2. Apply to more schools. Baylor, Wooster, Drew, RISD, Rollins, Sewanee, Michigan .. there are a host of schools w Feb 1 due dates and even more with March and April dates.
3. Apply to schools abroad. Other than the most highly selective schools, UK schools can still be applied to. One app for 5 schools via UCAS. European schools too.
4. Gap year.

Uh, no.

RiSD is a specialized school that has absolutely nothing in common with the ones you mentioned - and has a <20% acceptance rate.

[Anonymous]

She applied just right. You aren’t happy but would not help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder when parents like OP will understand that they are sending the message that their kids are incompetent and need mommy to “do more” for them and take charge. It is a main reason (along with social media) for the rise in teen and youth anxiety and mental health issues.

This should be shouted from the rooftops. Parents come in and save their kids from the slightest repercussion of their actions at every turn.

That doesn't apply to a huge decision like this one. I always wonder who people making these sorts of comments are.

+1 certain natural consequences are fine. Life altering ones, not so much.

Life-altering: college v. no college
Life-effecting: this good college v. that good college v. might be a better college for your current major

Parent intervention for the first is quite reasonable. For the second, really not that critical.

disagree. Where you go to college can determine your career trajectory.

I went to a no name state u, and my kid goes to UMD. So, I'm not just talking top tier.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was not "excited" about his final choices and really struggled to decide which one to pick.

He picked, went, and is happy and loving college life: genuinely happy, as most kids are once they actually get there and meet people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest was not "excited" about his final choices and really struggled to decide which one to pick.

He picked, went, and is happy and loving college life: genuinely happy, as most kids are once they actually get there and meet people.

All of these DCUM moms claim their kid is happy and "thriving" at a school that was 4th choice at best and nowhere as good as the many unreasonable T25 reaches applied to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to assume this isn't a "this is anxiety" situation, and actually did apply to wrong schools.

1. Don't you still have RD schools to come?
2. Apply to more schools. Baylor, Wooster, Drew, RISD, Rollins, Sewanee, Michigan .. there are a host of schools w Feb 1 due dates and even more with March and April dates.
3. Apply to schools abroad. Other than the most highly selective schools, UK schools can still be applied to. One app for 5 schools via UCAS. European schools too.
4. Gap year.

Uh, no.

RiSD is a specialized school that has absolutely nothing in common with the ones you mentioned - and has a <20% acceptance rate.

oops - this flew over your head. Sewanee and MI have little in common. Rollins and Wooster have little in common. RISD and Baylor have little in Common. What they all have in common is a Feb 1 application date which WAS THE POINT. A wide variety of schools at every price and selectivity level are still accepting applications.