MIL keeps competing with my mom for time with my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to ban my MIL from visiting my house for a few years due to behavior like this. I told her I wasn’t going to tolerate any of it. She did weird things like not properly supervising and telling my kids that she was a better grandmother than my mother. We let her pick one event for the kids that she could attend, once a year , for a few years. By the time, we allowed more contact, she did change. The kids are tweens now, and have a good relationship with her. Sometimes all you really need is a break, OP, don’t be afraid to set those boundaries.

That’s amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a bunch of boy moms responding.

The grannies have entered the chat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family had more access than DH’s and it’s because his family is negative, critical, and unhelpful. His mother was amazing but she died when we were kids, I think if she had lived she’d have been just as involved as my family. FIL, SMIL, and the siblings enjoy sitting around discussing how superior they are to the rest of the world. Their way is the only way and they are rude. My family, if served cold pizza would was poetic about how it was the best pizza they’d ever had. They don’t criticize and they don’t interfere. SMIL blew her last shot at babysitting by disregarding DD’s food allergy instructions. When called on it she claimed we didn’t know we were doing because a cousin also had allergies and had different instructions.

It’s the behavior, not the gender. Both sides of my grandparents and greats were very welcome in my parents’ home because they all behaved well.

So you don't feel guilty about not spending time with DH's family then, right? You shouldn't.

Sorry you don't have better in-laws, truly.

Zero guilt here. They did it to themselves. I’ll always be sad that DH’s mom didn’t live to see her grandchildren. She would have been an amazing grandmother.

[Anonymous]

It’s clear that OP’s MIL is the unpleasant one. OP does not have a duty to facilitate a relationship with her and her kids. That would fall on DH. Also, to all the grandmas out there - you do not have a right to see your grandkids on an equal basis as the other set of grandparents. If you want to be invited to more things, be more pleasant. Also, to all the mobs out there, grandparents shouldn’t always be expected to be “helpful” in order to be invited. Cooking, cleaning and childcare are acts of kindness, not entitled to you.