The nanny would presumably have her own room with a bed bigger than a twin bed, which she can share. OP, if you and your kids like your nanny and she’s been with you a long time, I would allow this and basically tell the nanny to have lunch with you but that she should have her own plans for dinner. |
Do you <need>a nanny on your vacation or is it a nice-to-have perk? |
I bring my kid on business trips and so I wouldn’t be shocked if my employee asked the same.
That said I think it’s generally better to hire a local nanny if possible, because they’ll have more local knowledge and create part of the novelty of being on a trip. It means more more on the front end but if you return to the same few places often it works out. |
Lol. Don’t know what to tell you. Same career and this is common among people we know. |
The "handwringing" about taking the nanny on vacation is that you are clearly wealthy enough to have this "nice to have" vacation amenity but are doubting whether this person will actually pay for what she said she would pay for in your original post. What she proposed sounded reasonable to a lot of people - bring daughter, pay daughter's way - while what you are handwringing about is whether she will actually pay for her daughter's expenses. If you don't want your nanny distracted from your children, just say so. That's actually a reasonable position, unlike "I'm worried we might have to pay for the daughter's meals at the fancy places we like to eat" which was your actual original concern in your first post. I think you are being smug now because you were expecting everyone to be as entitled as you, and shockingly, they're not. |
It's almost as if there is a lack of trust with the Nanny or, OP thinks Nanny lies. There's something deeper than having to pay for extra dinners. |
These kids are being raised by nanny, and they are attached. If nanny doesn’t go, it will be a bunch of sad kids who constantly tell mom “nanny does this better than you” |
+100 |
Biglaw partner here as well. I, too, have never heard of my partners taking a nanny along on a family vacation. Yes, I’ve heard of parents going away on a couples vacation and leaving their kids with the nanny - but going on a family vacation, and taking the nanny with them? That is not typical. But I don’t view it as “privileged.” I view it as sad.
But to me, the saddest part of this entire thing is that we have an obviously wealthy family who is heavily dependent on their nanny but who nonetheless is fretting over the possibility that she might have to buy the nanny’s teenage daughter a meal or two? That more than anything says a lot about OP. Most people would be more concerned about including a nanny and her daughter on a family vacation because including them would change the entire dynamic of the trip. How often do you actually go away with just you and the children, OP? You’ve just revealed that you continue to lurk on this thread and amuse yourself with the responses, so please let us know what drives your thinking here. |
Hey OP, any chance you are in bounds for Lafayette Elementary in DC and have a rising 1st grader (by age) that you are trying to get into kindergarten?
Your attempts to justify your selfishness and privilege remind me of someone. |
I was a full-time nanny with a family for 5 years and I went on several vacations with them. They were upper class, but definitely not wealthy. I was single with no kids so it was easy for me to travel. I was paid my normal weekly rate with all my expenses paid, but I was only "on-duty" for a couple hours every day.
I realize my situation was unique and not everyone has a close relationship with their nanny, but it worked for us. We genuinely enjoyed spending time together. It wasn't because they didn't want to take care of their kids. |
Uh huh. And based on what you have read from OP and this thread, do you really think she falls into the same category as you did when it comes to her relationship with her nanny? |
No - I should have specified in my post. I'm not referring to the OP. I'm responding to all the people who are saying how sad/lazy/etc it is to take a nanny on vacation. |
But here’s the thing: in this context it really IS all of those things. |
For a week while the parent is far far away? My parents did this in a suburb (long weekend away, not international, not for a week) many years ago but asked all the neighbors to watch out because my 15 year old sister was home. On the Saturday cars were showing up parked around the block...not in front of our house... one of the neighbors walked over to our house and boom! Sister having a party with many kids 0 music, beer, etc! He walked in, sent the kids home and told her that she either told our parents or he would. If it had been me I would never have had a party, (firstborn, never broke any rules) but my sister was willing to push the envelope - although she never did it again! Also, this was in a suburb a zillion years ago - not a city, or sketchy part of a suburb. |