Nanny bringing child on vacation with us

[Anonymous]

Many nanny contracts (including mine when my kids were young) say that the nanny is off when the family is off. Or, at least, the family chooses one set of dates and the nanny chooses one set of dates.

If OP is now asking the nanny to work on the weeks she was contractually going to be off, that's a huge piece of context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

I guess your convenience matters more than your nanny's family separation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

The alternative is that the nanny does not go on vacation, and OP manages her own children on vacation.

She definitely doesn’t want that!

Don’t be snarky. OP might have special needs children who require a lot of extra everything. We don’t know. She hasn’t specified how many chores, what she’s, exactly how old the teen daughter is, etc. Let’s give OP the benefit of the doubt. She sends like a kind person to consider this, instead of dismissing it out of hand.

[Anonymous]

I’d say no, and hire a different nanny for the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

The alternative is that the nanny does not go on vacation, and OP manages her own children on vacation.

She definitely doesn’t want that!

Don’t be snarky. OP might have special needs children who require a lot of extra everything. We don’t know. She hasn’t specified how many children, what ages, exactly how old the teen daughter is, etc. Let’s give OP the benefit of the doubt. She sends like a kind person to consider this, instead of dismissing it out of hand.

Typos fixed. Apologies.

[Anonymous]

She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

If the teen is self-sufficient enough to not be an issue on this trip then why are they not self-sufficient enough to remain at home? Just saying that there may be more to this teen than OP knows and that can be part of the equation.

We don’t know how old the teen is. We also don’t know the duration of the vacation. Why suggest that “there may be more to this teen than the OP knows” — when the OP’s request is disrupting the nanny’s summer plans for her own family?
A self-sufficient teen with adult supervision on a trip isn’t the same thing as abandoning your kid for an unspecified length of time to accommodate your boss’s whims.

[Anonymous]

You asked if she would come and she gave you the terms under which she can do it. She obviously cannot leave her minor child at home to go on vacation with you.

How badly do you want the extra help? That's your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

It's OP's problem because OP is the one who wants her employee to work outside the contract. Millions of people manage their own kids on vacation. If OP doesn't want to, she may need to show some grace.

[Anonymous]

OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

OP hired a human with a family who cannot just drop everything and leave them. It’s entirely OP’s problem. Or she can watch her kids herself, or hire someone else. But leaving the teen should not be an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

+1 on one hand this is work travel like any other, employee has to figure out childcare logistics

That said, here there is likely a massive imbalance in privilege and money and if the nanny hasn't already agreed to travel and time away from home it's a significant imposition.

OP can say no but that may mean nanny can't come. OP focus on the cost of the teen's meals seemed petty to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Sounds like you can say no to the daughter coming and the nanny can decide whether or not she wants to come based on that information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

+1 on one hand this is work travel like any other, employee has to figure out childcare logistics

That said, here there is likely a massive imbalance in privilege and money and if the nanny hasn't already agreed to travel and time away from home it's a significant imposition.

OP can say no but that may mean nanny can't come. OP focus on the cost of the teen's meals seemed petty to me.

Note that OP clarified this is an additional request. Normally the nanny would be off this week, and now is being asked to work. It's not like work travel at all.