Nanny bringing child on vacation with us

[Anonymous]

I would worry, too, about the nanny’s ethnicity and if the vacation area would be warm and welcoming to her.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps because I live in NYC, I have heard of many families taking their nanny on vacation. I have even seen firsthand parents in business class with nanny and kids in economy.

I was too anxious to use some kids’ clubs and local sitters but vacationed without a nanny. Yes, couples’ trips and family trips differ. Both are nice. Sounds like OP wants to combine them in one trip.

I would not be a fan of nanny bringing any guest but this sounds like an awkward Covi to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would worry, too, about the nanny’s ethnicity and if the vacation area would be warm and welcoming to her.

Your bias is showing. You don't know the ethnicity of anyone involved. You're making assumptions.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want two extras on a family vacay.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe you even are bringing your nanny on a family vacation. Can’t you handle your own kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because I live in NYC, I have heard of many families taking their nanny on vacation. I have even seen firsthand parents in business class with nanny and kids in economy.

I was too anxious to use some kids’ clubs and local sitters but vacationed without a nanny. Yes, couples’ trips and family trips differ. Both are nice. Sounds like OP wants to combine them in one trip.

I would not be a fan of nanny bringing any guest but this sounds like an awkward Covi to have.

Yea, there aren't any rich people outside of NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

If the teen is self-sufficient enough to not be an issue on this trip then why are they not self-sufficient enough to remain at home? Just saying that there may be more to this teen than OP knows and that can be part of the equation.

For a week while the parent is far far away? My parents did this in a suburb (long weekend away, not international, not for a week) many years ago but asked all the neighbors to watch out because my 15 year old sister was home. On the Saturday cars were showing up parked around the block...not in front of our house... one of the neighbors walked over to our house and boom! Sister having a party with many kids 0 music, beer, etc! He walked in, sent the kids home and told her that she either told our parents or he would. If it had been me I would never have had a party, (firstborn, never broke any rules) but my sister was willing to push the envelope - although she never did it again! Also, this was in a suburb a zillion years ago - not a city, or sketchy part of a suburb.

Read the thread. OP's nanny is married with multiple kids. If nanny's DD does not go on the trip, she would be HOME WITH HER DAD and siblings.

[Anonymous]

I’d never bring a nanny on a family vacation; that’s just absurd. Enjoy this time with your little family unit, and actually take care of your kids yourself. However, if you need the nanny then absolutely pay for her daughter too. This is a woman taking care of your children almost daily and who probably has a lot less money then you; my I would never in a million years have her pay separately for her daughter on a trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe you even are bringing your nanny on a family vacation. Can’t you handle your own kids?

It’s not a matter of “can”. OP wants a vacation from responsibility, and the way to do that responsibly is to bring someone to do the “work” of having kids on a trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe you even are bringing your nanny on a family vacation. Can’t you handle your own kids?

It’s not a matter of “can”. OP wants a vacation from responsibility, and the way to do that responsibly is to bring someone to do the “work” of having kids on a trip.

Then do a separate trip that’s adult only. Core memories are made on family vacations and it’s about doing stuff together with your family unit; sure it’s not the most relaxing for parents but it’s not all about that when you have kids. I think it’s really sad that you need to bring a nanny on a family trip.

[Anonymous]

What is up with all the responses saying “take care of your own kids!” One PP even called the kids brats - where’s this hateful energy coming from?

First it feels super misogynistic - literally no one has mentioned dad. Eleven pages of people calling mom terrible because she is bringing a nanny.

Second while parental bonding with kids is of course important, we need to normalize the idea that parents can use help raising their kids. We don’t know why this family is bringing a nanny. Maybe they have a bunch of kids. Maybe the parents have to work. Maybe one of the parents has cancer. Etc etc.

For generations that help was from family. People bring grandma on vacation all the time. Next time PPs bring grandma on vacation, I hope someone runs up to them shouting, parent your own damn kids! Rawr!!!

Any PPs drop your kid off at summer camp? You’re a terrible mother! Parent your own bratty kid!

Anyone drop their kids at grandma’s house for the weekend? You’re making grandma work 24-7, this is human trafficking and you should go to jail. Rawr!

Any PPs work a job and need childcare? Why’d you even have kids - so someone else could raise them? Rawr!

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

You pay or nanny cannot leave her daughter alone for so long and then you can take care of your own children. Stop being so cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

If the teen is self-sufficient enough to not be an issue on this trip then why are they not self-sufficient enough to remain at home? Just saying that there may be more to this teen than OP knows and that can be part of the equation.

For a week while the parent is far far away? My parents did this in a suburb (long weekend away, not international, not for a week) many years ago but asked all the neighbors to watch out because my 15 year old sister was home. On the Saturday cars were showing up parked around the block...not in front of our house... one of the neighbors walked over to our house and boom! Sister having a party with many kids 0 music, beer, etc! He walked in, sent the kids home and told her that she either told our parents or he would. If it had been me I would never have had a party, (firstborn, never broke any rules) but my sister was willing to push the envelope - although she never did it again! Also, this was in a suburb a zillion years ago - not a city, or sketchy part of a suburb.

Read the thread. OP's nanny is married with multiple kids. If nanny's DD does not go on the trip, she would be HOME WITH HER DAD and siblings.

This is work for the nanny. People make it sound like it’s fun for the nanny but it’s not. She’s working 24-7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is up with all the responses saying “take care of your own kids!” One PP even called the kids brats - where’s this hateful energy coming from?

First it feels super misogynistic - literally no one has mentioned dad. Eleven pages of people calling mom terrible because she is bringing a nanny.

Second while parental bonding with kids is of course important, we need to normalize the idea that parents can use help raising their kids. We don’t know why this family is bringing a nanny. Maybe they have a bunch of kids. Maybe the parents have to work. Maybe one of the parents has cancer. Etc etc.

For generations that help was from family. People bring grandma on vacation all the time. Next time PPs bring grandma on vacation, I hope someone runs up to them shouting, parent your own damn kids! Rawr!!!

Any PPs drop your kid off at summer camp? You’re a terrible mother! Parent your own bratty kid!

Anyone drop their kids at grandma’s house for the weekend? You’re making grandma work 24-7, this is human trafficking and you should go to jail. Rawr!

Any PPs work a job and need childcare? Why’d you even have kids - so someone else could raise them? Rawr!

There is a difference between help and someone else raising your kids. This is a family vacation. Take care of your own kids. If not, leave them home.