Nanny bringing child on vacation with us

[Anonymous]

We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

She obviously can’t leave a teenage daughter unattended. You have to decide whether it’s worth the extra cost to you, or if you’d rather do without the extra help. Either answer is valid.

[Anonymous]

Also, nanny and daughter don’t have to accompany you to the nicest restaurants. They can have a cozy dinner by themselves.

[Anonymous]

I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

The alternative is that the nanny does not go on vacation, and OP manages her own children on vacation.

[Anonymous]

You’re going on a vacation, can afford to bring your nanny, and worried about the cost of her daughter’s meals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

I agree however, is probably either the daughter comes or the family doesn’t have their nanny with them. Can’t you just hire a nanny at your location?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

The alternative is that the nanny does not go on vacation, and OP manages her own children on vacation.

She definitely doesn’t want that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

Is going on vacation with you in her contract? Or is this a bonus request that would otherwise unexpectedly leave her without overnight supervision for her child? In which case, how much money are you offering her and would it make up for her needing to hire help?

[Anonymous]

Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

Is going on vacation with you in her contract? Or is this a bonus request that would otherwise unexpectedly leave her without overnight supervision for her child? In which case, how much money are you offering her and would it make up for her needing to hire help?

All good questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

If the teen is self-sufficient enough to not be an issue on this trip then why are they not self-sufficient enough to remain at home? Just saying that there may be more to this teen than OP knows and that can be part of the equation.

[Anonymous]

You're asking for her to basically be in 24 hours a day, as she's away from her home and can't leave her daughter. Paying the daughter's expenses is basically bare minimum, the nanny should also get a premium for travel.

Or you know, just take care of your own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

If the teen is self-sufficient enough to not be an issue on this trip then why are they not self-sufficient enough to remain at home? Just saying that there may be more to this teen than OP knows and that can be part of the equation.

I have an extraordinarily competent teen, who has a job and could be trusted overnight. I still would not leave her for a week or more.

I also think OP needs to tell us whether this is in the contract.

[Anonymous]

What was the agreement with the nanny about vacations? In addition to needing supervision for her daughter, was the nanny expecting to use this time for her own vacation plans with her daughter? If I were the OP, and all parties are willing, I’d probably approach the nanny and her daughter to see if the daughter would be willing to be paid mother’s helper for the trip — and plan accordingly, assuming all costs.

From the nanny’s perspective, pretty much everything about this would be a hardship. Either she has to arrange for supervision and possibly housing for her daughter while she accompanies the OP on their vacation Or she has to pay travel expenses for her daughter— both possibly involving significant and unexpected expenses for the nanny in order to accommodate the OP.