Got pre-printed thank you card for wedding gift.

[Anonymous]

I’m 34 and think that is extremely tacky!

[Anonymous]

I’m older and I don’t care. All I want to know is whether the gift made it there. Email, phone call, whatever is fine. I still have a couple where I sent a gift card to their registry store and I never heard anything. By the time I realized that I hadn’t gotten a thank you, I felt too embarrassed to ask - always wondered if they didn’t look inside the envelope (it was a wedding I couldn’t attend) and thought I only sent a congratulatory card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

Because they took the time, energy, and thought to hand-pick a special gift for you for your wedding.

That's why.

Because they took the time to sit at home in their PJs and click a button on an online registry, you mean. The same amount of effort it took to mail standardized thank you notes.

That’s why.

Wow, I hope you get no gifts ever. Perhaps your calculus could include the generosity of the gift itself. Many, many people don't have discretionary funds for such things and have to cut something out of their budget to afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been married for 22 years and it would have been very much frowned upon to send pre-printed cards like that. I wrote about 200 or more cards, by myself, because my husband was raised by a mother who thought she was the queen of England and etiquette called for the bride to write the notes. I set a horrible precdent that has lasted for 22 years, allowing my husband to think his mother is always right. It's a nightmare. With all that said--yes, it was mostly just a vent--while handwritten notes seem at fisrt to be the most appropriate, I am perfectly willing to accept that times change, and can also acknowledge that honestly, those hand-written notes aren't really that much more meaningful. I didn't know half the people I was writing, they simply picked a dinner set off my registry and had it shipped, being sure to let my MIL know they sent a gift. There was no thoughfulness on their part or mine. So in the big picture, who cares? OP: are these people you care about? Are they generally thoughtful, nice people who you like? Then let it go and hope they enjoy the gift that you thoughtfully picked out for them.

Did either side of parents help pay for the wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my husband's half of our wedding guests never got any thank you notes. People who obsess over this (invariably women) never seem to hold men to this standard. Why is that?

My husband and I equally considered it necessary to write hand-written thank you notes. He wrote to his family and guests, so he could write personal notes to each (about the gift, the fun time, a memory, etc) and I wrote to mine for the same reason. Somehow, with a wedding out of town, a honeymoon, and flying write back to a week-long conference, we managed to write two hundred thank you notes within a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, posters, a preprinted thank you card is (and always will be) stunningly rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

As a sign of actual gratitude, not a cookie cutter mass print you order online and send out just so you can check off the box.

So you think that if there is "actual handwriting," that ensures to you that there is "actual gratitude" and not just going through the motions of obligation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m older and I don’t care. All I want to know is whether the gift made it there. Email, phone call, whatever is fine. I still have a couple where I sent a gift card to their registry store and I never heard anything. By the time I realized that I hadn’t gotten a thank you, I felt too embarrassed to ask - always wondered if they didn’t look inside the envelope (it was a wedding I couldn’t attend) and thought I only sent a congratulatory card.

Times do change and I get that. I like to send a check because when it gets cashed, I know it was received, whether or not I get a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

My kids have written thank you notes their entire lives. Surely they can hand-write thank you notes for wedding gifts.

Anything less would be crass.

[Anonymous]

I am not American and don't get the thank you note thing at all - it's not done in my culture (but then also in my culture you give cash, not stuff, during the wedding.)

When I got married back in 2002, it was wonderful to do thank you notes only for DH's side of the family since they were American and thus gave gifts/expected notes and I'd have been happy to have skipped both getting gifts and writing notes except I was informed by MIL that people would find no registry and "no gifts" offensive. I've given plenty of wedding gifts since and honestly can't even remember if I got thank you notes or not, because I genuinely don't care. I give gifts either because I genuinely want to give something nice to a person or because it's polite, not because I expect gratitude.

[Anonymous]

I don't give wedding gifts anymore. I just give a nice card with a thoughtful handwritten message.

Why the gift grab?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't give wedding gifts anymore. I just give a nice card with a thoughtful handwritten message.

Why the gift grab?

If you don't attend, and are not close to the couple, I guess that's okay if miserly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, posters, a preprinted thank you card is (and always will be) stunningly rude.

Better than none at all, I’m fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

It’s just the way thinks are. It’s totally unacceptable, and if I received this I would think they were ill raised.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Do people keep these precious handwritten notes of gratitude? Maybe store them in a shoebox for your kids to throw out later?

What about the mass printed wedding picture with "Thank you" at the bottom?