Got pre-printed thank you card for wedding gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

Because they took the time, energy, and thought to hand-pick a special gift for you for your wedding.

That's why.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty obnoxious, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those thank you notes were the band of my existence after our wedding. Maybe it’s not ideal, but I would let it go and assume the bride is doing the best she can at the moment.

What about the groom? Is he doing the best he can at the moment?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious about the hand written not camp vs the preprinted not camp vs the no note camp—are the people who send Christmas cards in the same camp as the thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those thank you notes were the band of my existence after our wedding. Maybe it’s not ideal, but I would let it go and assume the bride is doing the best she can at the moment.

No, she’s doing the least she can. And why is it all on her? Presumably there’s another party to this marriage who is also literate.

I find it tragic that this generation finds it so grueling to say thank you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would strike me as impersonal and a bit tacky, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

I get this, but how many people really give PERSONAL gifts at a wedding? Most of us give money or buy off the registry, and then expect a level of thanks outside the level of effort we put into the gift. AFTER we just enjoyed the host's hospitality on top of things. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

That's a very transactional view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those thank you notes were the band of my existence after our wedding. Maybe it’s not ideal, but I would let it go and assume the bride is doing the best she can at the moment.

No, she’s doing the least she can. And why is it all on her? Presumably there’s another party to this marriage who is also literate.

I find it tragic that this generation finds it so grueling to say thank you.

+1

-1. It's not grueling to say thank you. It's grueling to buy stationery, handwrite a bunch of notes (especially after a wedding), buy stamps, and mail them. I don't use the mail for anything else and don't really handwrite anything at this point. I would be happy to write personalized emails, but I strongly dislike physical writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd raise an eyebrow but I guess appreciate knowing that they got the gift.

I could get behind a pre-printed thank you note with handwritten sentence jotted at the bottom or the margin - standardize some of the "thank you so much for sharing our special day, it was magical" blah blah text that goes to everyone and then handwrite "we love the bread maker and can't wait to get baking!" and hand sign. Could speed up a super painful process while still being a bit personal. I probably wouldn't do this myself because I'd worry it wasn't proper enough, but I'd think it was genius.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my husband's half of our wedding guests never got any thank you notes. People who obsess over this (invariably women) never seem to hold men to this standard. Why is that?

Never? You mean never other than all the people in this thread who had help from their grooms? Read.

While there are men who write thank you notes, I have never seen anyone hold a man responsible for not writing them. This is a social standard enforced almost entirely by and against women.

"Enforced"? What the...

I have had both male and female cousins, friends, etc., fail to send thank you notes for weddings, graduation gifts, etc. And never once have I ever "enforced" that social nicety by calling them up to ask them about the gift, etc. WTH? Tell me, in great detail, how you have "enforced" this nicety with the people in your life.

I don't enforce it. I don't care about thank you notes. I give gifts when I want to because it makes me happy to do so for friends and family. I do not demand a handwritten note in return as a quid pro quo. But if you read this thread, there are plenty of people trying to enforce this practice according to their own standards by criticizing those who don't comply or, in some cases, mentioning that they have stopped giving gifts to those who didn't respond with a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

It’s just the way thinks are. It’s totally unacceptable, and if I received this I would think they were ill raised.

Agreed. I would be left with the feeling that the wedding was a money grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were invited to a wedding in May, but didn't attend (due to pandemic concerns). We RSVP'd no. About 1 week before the wedding, when the bride was visiting her parents (our neighbors), we gave a card with $200 check written to both the bride & groom. Groom was the only signature on the check. Haven't gotten a thank you note, pre-printed or handwritten, from bride/groom. We are close with bride's family, but we do know the groom through family interaction.

I know they got it thanks to my bank balance. I don't know if the bride is aware about the check. We have seen them several times since their wedding.

I would not mind a pre-printed note. It is better than literally nothing at all.

We attended my nephew's Zoom wedding last year and sent him and his wife a check for $500. They never acknowledged it or sent any kind of thank you.

I do judge them for that and suppose a pre-printed note would have been better, though I still think it's lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from the south and my mother would have been mortified if we hadn't sent handwritten notes. I wrote the ones to my family and friends, husband wrote the ones to his.

BUT, I love the idea of the pre-printed thank you cards that you then add a note to at the bottom. That's what we do for our Christmas cards- the pre-printed photo cards, then I add a note on the bottom and sign my name. I do think a pre-printed thank you card with no handwritten note for a wedding gift is pretty lazy.

I'm from New England and have been writing thank you notes since the time I could grip a crayon in my fingers. My mother would be mortified if we hadn't sent handwritten notes.

I also like the idea of a personalized pre-printed card.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it --- by pre-printed, you mean that they wrote one note that was the same for all gifts, or do you mean that they typed vs hand wrote a personal note? IF the former, I agree better than nothing but not great, but for the latter in the year 2021, I think many people write so little that typing might be more realistic to do and I'd welcome a warm printed note or even an email thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think twice about this. Why do you need them to hand write a thank you?

NP. But, yes, I do need this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on size of gift. My aunt liked hand written her address on card to.

Pre-printed is a microagression

You win the thread, hands-down.