Men, how do you find a wife who makes around the same as you?
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Anonymous
Seconding this. DH and I make similar incomes (Me at 120k and him at 130k) plus bonuses gets us up to a 275-300k HHI. But if either of us walked away from our jobs, it would drastically cut our standard of living since this area is so expensive. Luckily we both have fairly flexible jobs (I’m a fed and he’s in IT). But if one of us had been a much lower earner, it would be easier to pick one person’s career to sacrifice while the kids are little. I’d we didn’t both have the flexibility we do, it would be really hard. So be careful what you wish for unless you a) don’t want kids or b) are okay tethering yourself to a flexible job. Because if you so decide to have kids and you and your spouse are both ambitious/high earners trying to lean into your careers, you will either be outsourcing things out the wazoo or become resentful of each other for holding each other back. |
Anonymous
Why would I care? She makes more money than the vast majority of people with a degree and is smarter than most. I win the jackpot in the lottery of wives. Smart, high earner and a dime. |
Anonymous
| Date your own age (or at least include it the range — it’s off putting not to date people at least up to your age) and date smarter women. |
Anonymous
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Just remember that money is the be all, end all purpose of life! You’ll get lots of great advice on this board in that regard!
🙄 |
Anonymous
You are on the money forum....just saying. |
Anonymous
This seems like and odd takeaway to me. I answered this question and have many friends who are nurses, social workers, teachers, etc. I am not sure why posting where I met my spouse would mean that I somehow don’t respect these women. Also, please remember that women who make more money generally have a smaller dating pool than women who make less. For a woman, going to med school or law school doesn’t exactly make you more attractive. OP’s post that this is something he is actively looking for, rather than something he is willing to overlook, is refreshing. Perhaps many women on here were a little overly enthusiastic in answering it, but it’s not because we don’t respect our friends and neighbors. |
Anonymous
| Ivy grad school. |
Anonymous
| The local Episcopal Church choir |
Anonymous
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Dating your own age is a good rule of thumb.
Some industries - like IT or tech sales - can be “low key lucrative.” Like, you don’t necessarily expect these folks to pull in $200-400K, but it can easily happen. My DW and I met on Tinder in DC and have always made the same amount of money. It’s kind of nice, there’s never any arguments or stress about money. When we met, we both made around $120K. Now we are up to around $190K each with bonus, and another $25K in real estate income. |
Anonymous
| Under the freeway.we are both homeless and both have zero income.... |
Anonymous
I would be embarrassed if it came up in social situations. People will look down on her. Plus, how will you tell your kids thaf a college degree is a must? |
Anonymous
That is the height of elitism. PP, your wife pulls 400k a year and has worked her way up to get there. Good for her. The “social circles” Can guffaw all they want. |
Anonymous
She has had a quarter of a century to get a degree part time. She could get one now. |
Anonymous
Why on earth would she bother? Waste of time |
Anonymous
NP: My ex went to Cambridge, his PhD was at Harvard, and he was a professor at a school that you would throw acid on your own face if it meant your DC had a better chance. He also ran a company. He never cared where people went to school or if they even went to school. What they accomplished spoke for itself. People who are impressive don't really care what the average or even somewhat above average person thinks. I guess if you're sitting around at a cocktail party asking really boring questions like "where did you go" or "what do you do" then this matters. But wow, that's bleak. |