Men, how do you find a wife who makes around the same as you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand there are many women (I refuse to say “girls”) here on dcum who make an enormous amount of money, and thus are taking OP’s post in stride. But in general - do PPs *look down on* people who make 50k (perhaps people in “do-gooder” fields, or those that haven’t prioritized a high income but live within their means and do meaningful work - to them) - would you value them as human beings - friends, neighbors, community members? Or would you disassociate yourself from them?

Sensitive much? I don’t really meet many people in that range unless I’m hiring them, nanny for example, and none could afford to live in my neighborhood. I think OP is smart to consider this. Many guys and woman don’t and end up pissed off like some posters. Two high earners means much less stress. Until recently I was outearning my spouse and lost my job. Well no panic because we can live on one income.

Advice for OP go for lawyers a slightly bit older because if they want kids the bio clock is ticking. So 28-32 or so. Worst case they go government or inhouse from biglaw. Just check for insane debt. Doctors too same reasoning. Ask your friends and friend’s wives to set you up. Fwiw I met my spouse at work but it was a temporary job and I’d be worried with me too myself.

You “don’t meet many people on that range”? And you’re proud of that?

[Anonymous]

^*in* that range

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband in grad school both should have been highish earners. I’m 35 and at $290k and he made some poor career choices and is at $50k at 40. It’s infuriating. I love my husband but it’s been rough. We were supposed to be equalish partners and I have the burden of finances and the large share of child stuff on my shoulders. He is in charge of house stuff which means it’s perpetually in disorder.

Just going to leave this here https://jessica.substack.com/p/is-divorce-the-only-answer-to-an

DP but maybe I should not have read that because now I want to scream into the abyss...

I, too, wish to scream. Also a DP. I stopped drinking for Dry January because the wine was just me trying to stop thinking in the evenings. So now I think again, and I am just generally infuriated.

One thing has become painfully clear this year. America doesn’t have a social safety net. America has women.

No, our priority is tax cuts for billionaires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met DH in business school. Not top 5, more Darden tier. Asked him out as he was incredibly cute combined with friendly and approachable. We both earn $200k+, but the bigger picture is that grad school puts you into a situation where others are pre-selected. I knew that obviously he had intelligence and drive vs. a random.

Boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like every other poster here makes 200-300k and is married to someone else making a salary in this range. How do you guys find women like this? I make in this range as well but every girl I’ve dated earns below 50k. I’m not sure I want to enter a marriage with such a disparity in earnings, but I cannot for the life of me find a single woman who is at my level career wise. Am I dating too young? I mostly stick with women 25-30. I’m
32.

My wife is 43. She does not have a college degree. At age 25 she was making 55k as an "account manager ". Doesn't hurt that she's a smoke show. She's in IT sales and now on average pulls 400k/yr.

Her qualities:
-very hard worker
-great communicator
-very social, people like her
-smart
-hot

Just don't marry someone who wants to have babies and quit working. Also don't marry a beta woman. They are boring and lack ambition.

At this point I would not object to her to quit working. She was with a company who went IPO (so major options) and has spent almost 20 years contributing to a 401k. However it is not in her personality to sit at home watching Oprah and organizing PTA bake sales.

And you still don’t care that she does not have a degree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my husband has searched for someone making the same as him, they would be an extremely poor couple.

He must not be attractive. If he was he could get an equal earner easily..even in the 7 figures.

[Anonymous]

OP- there are a ton of lawyers toiling away in biglaw that are mid-20s to early 30s that make a lot now and maybe more than you in the future. try them.

[Anonymous]

OP, you just need to hook into a group of lawyers/young professionals and start dating in that pool. I met my spouse at a card game, but it was a card game I was invited to by a lawyer (friend of an undergrad friend), and most of the people there were highly educated and making good money. The professionals making a couple hundred k tend to hang out with other professionals making a couple hundred k.

It's hard with COVID, but maybe try a Meet Up group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met DH in business school. Not top 5, more Darden tier. Asked him out as he was incredibly cute combined with friendly and approachable. We both earn $200k+, but the bigger picture is that grad school puts you into a situation where others are pre-selected. I knew that obviously he had intelligence and drive vs. a random.

Can I throw up now

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a troll.

Who the hell expects a 25 y-o of either gender to be pulling 200-300k?

These posts supposedly written by men looking for high earning women are probably written by WOMEN trying to feel like they are wanted.

Like the PP who talked about his workaholic "smokeshow" wife who would be bored baking all day.

I have found the opposite of this thread in real life -- to the point where I have been frustrated by the men in my life (like my brother) who date hot women who have no earning potential, no intellectual life, but are cuties who take really good care of themselves and are available on a moment's notice.

And my girlfriends who work a lot and get penalized in the dating world b/c they cannot be available at the drop of a hat. Yeah, cause having a successful career is time consuming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand there are many women (I refuse to say “girls”) here on dcum who make an enormous amount of money, and thus are taking OP’s post in stride. But in general - do PPs *look down on* people who make 50k (perhaps people in “do-gooder” fields, or those that haven’t prioritized a high income but live within their means and do meaningful work - to them) - would you value them as human beings - friends, neighbors, community members? Or would you disassociate yourself from them?

Sensitive much? I don’t really meet many people in that range unless I’m hiring them, nanny for example, and none could afford to live in my neighborhood. I think OP is smart to consider this. Many guys and woman don’t and end up pissed off like some posters. Two high earners means much less stress. Until recently I was outearning my spouse and lost my job. Well no panic because we can live on one income.

Advice for OP go for lawyers a slightly bit older because if they want kids the bio clock is ticking. So 28-32 or so. Worst case they go government or inhouse from biglaw. Just check for insane debt. Doctors too same reasoning. Ask your friends and friend’s wives to set you up. Fwiw I met my spouse at work but it was a temporary job and I’d be worried with me too myself.

You “don’t meet many people on that range”? And you’re proud of that?

Don’t really care. Most people socialize in their income/ net worth range. You just have a chip because you’re insecure and triggered by my comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a troll.

Who the hell expects a 25 y-o of either gender to be pulling 200-300k?

These posts supposedly written by men looking for high earning women are probably written by WOMEN trying to feel like they are wanted.

Like the PP who talked about his workaholic "smokeshow" wife who would be bored baking all day.

I have found the opposite of this thread in real life -- to the point where I have been frustrated by the men in my life (like my brother) who date hot women who have no earning potential, no intellectual life, but are cuties who take really good care of themselves and are available on a moment's notice.

And my girlfriends who work a lot and get penalized in the dating world b/c they cannot be available at the drop of a hat. Yeah, cause having a successful career is time consuming.

+1. Insecure working women trying to promote themselves. Be proud of yourselves ladies. No need to troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met DH in business school. Not top 5, more Darden tier. Asked him out as he was incredibly cute combined with friendly and approachable. We both earn $200k+, but the bigger picture is that grad school puts you into a situation where others are pre-selected. I knew that obviously he had intelligence and drive vs. a random.

Boring!

Glad it worked out for you, but you are giving grad school students WAY too much credit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand there are many women (I refuse to say “girls”) here on dcum who make an enormous amount of money, and thus are taking OP’s post in stride. But in general - do PPs *look down on* people who make 50k (perhaps people in “do-gooder” fields, or those that haven’t prioritized a high income but live within their means and do meaningful work - to them) - would you value them as human beings - friends, neighbors, community members? Or would you disassociate yourself from them?

Sensitive much? I don’t really meet many people in that range unless I’m hiring them, nanny for example, and none could afford to live in my neighborhood. I think OP is smart to consider this. Many guys and woman don’t and end up pissed off like some posters. Two high earners means much less stress. Until recently I was outearning my spouse and lost my job. Well no panic because we can live on one income.

Advice for OP go for lawyers a slightly bit older because if they want kids the bio clock is ticking. So 28-32 or so. Worst case they go government or inhouse from biglaw. Just check for insane debt. Doctors too same reasoning. Ask your friends and friend’s wives to set you up. Fwiw I met my spouse at work but it was a temporary job and I’d be worried with me too myself.

You “don’t meet many people on that range”? And you’re proud of that?

That may be true, but that doesn’t mean you’re not elitist.
Don’t really care. Most people socialize in their income/ net worth range. You just have a chip because you’re insecure and triggered by my comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand there are many women (I refuse to say “girls”) here on dcum who make an enormous amount of money, and thus are taking OP’s post in stride. But in general - do PPs *look down on* people who make 50k (perhaps people in “do-gooder” fields, or those that haven’t prioritized a high income but live within their means and do meaningful work - to them) - would you value them as human beings - friends, neighbors, community members? Or would you disassociate yourself from them?

Sensitive much? I don’t really meet many people in that range unless I’m hiring them, nanny for example, and none could afford to live in my neighborhood. I think OP is smart to consider this. Many guys and woman don’t and end up pissed off like some posters. Two high earners means much less stress. Until recently I was outearning my spouse and lost my job. Well no panic because we can live on one income.

Advice for OP go for lawyers a slightly bit older because if they want kids the bio clock is ticking. So 28-32 or so. Worst case they go government or inhouse from biglaw. Just check for insane debt. Doctors too same reasoning. Ask your friends and friend’s wives to set you up. Fwiw I met my spouse at work but it was a temporary job and I’d be worried with me too myself.

You “don’t meet many people on that range”? And you’re proud of that?

Don’t really care. Most people socialize in their income/ net worth range. You just have a chip because you’re insecure and triggered by my comments.

That may be true (and you seem to enjoy pointing that out, which is unkind).