Beyond tacky “shower” invite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got one of these in the mail, also with a deadline to purchase a gift (several months in advance of the birth). It doesn't help that the two (!) registries include items like a $200 diaper bag, a $400 highchair, and a $700 stroller. No mention of a zoom video call or anything, which I wouldn't want to participate in anyway (sounds like torture). Literally just a card demanding expensive gifts by a certain date. I am speechless!

I'm pregnant and find these to be weird (we're not doing any kind of shower or registry), but I had a big wedding with a registry so I guess who the hell am I to say anything either way.

A decent person who doesn't demand others buy them a $700 stroller by a specific date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm obviously "tacky" too because I don't see this as a big deal. If the friend is doing this in lieu of a baby shower where you would be buying stuff for the baby anyhow, how is this any different? I'm assuming they are also social distancing so they can't have people together for a baby shower, so this is the next best thing, right? Or are you saying the gift card is tacky?

The person sending the email is the pregnant lady. It would be like hosting your own shower.

Most people I know have someone else “host” the shower and be the rsvp, but the pregnant person is usually the driving force and host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm obviously "tacky" too because I don't see this as a big deal. If the friend is doing this in lieu of a baby shower where you would be buying stuff for the baby anyhow, how is this any different? I'm assuming they are also social distancing so they can't have people together for a baby shower, so this is the next best thing, right? Or are you saying the gift card is tacky?

The person sending the email is the pregnant lady. It would be like hosting your own shower.

Most people I know have someone else “host” the shower and be the rsvp, but the pregnant person is usually the driving force and host.

Yeah-it’s the pregnant woman creating the registries, too. I don’t think having someone else send around your invites to buy you expensive gifts makes it any less tacky and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You say there are better ways to do this... well, start by suggesting one!

I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Any suggestions about what to say?

Hurt her feelings! If she sends these out she will lose all her friends, so SAVE HER

[Anonymous]

No need to buy expensive new things. The consignment shops are full of wonderful items for a fraction of the cost.

Otherwise, just decline the invite and send a congrats card.

[Anonymous]

I’m due later this summer and I’m in a group on another forum for women due around the same time. There’s a near consensus among them that just sending out your registry and sending reminders to people to buy things off it is appropriate given the pandemic. It’s honestly horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Not to derail this tread but I think " congratulation announcements are just as bad when you are not hosting a gathering for the person.

I got one for a kid graduation HS that I havent seen for over 8 years. I used to babysit him.

[Anonymous]

That is a terrible message. My good friends had a Zoom shower. We all mailed gifts, but also played cute games online for an hour. It was a lot of fun and not at all tacky.

[Anonymous]

^ hosts also dropped off food/reats to local guests, which was a nice touch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need to buy expensive new things. The consignment shops are full of wonderful items for a fraction of the cost.

Otherwise, just decline the invite and send a congrats card.

Please point me toward these magical consignment shops that are open. The two baby and kid consignment shops in my area are now permanently closed, thanks to covid.

I am expecting our 3rd, got pregnant right after we donated all of our baby supplies at the beginning of quarantine. I posted things for free on Nextdoor and had people picking up stuff at the top of our driveway for a week. Then, like magic, missed period/positive pregnancy test.

I'm still not doing a shower or registry. I'd feel like such a fool.

[Anonymous]

I'm pregnant with my first, and although most pregnancy forums I'm on seem to agree that a "shower by mail" or zoom shower is perfectly fine because of the pandemic, I could never! I'm having a tiny outdoor shower with only immediate family (8 people total) late this summer to celebrate baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my first, and although most pregnancy forums I'm on seem to agree that a "shower by mail" or zoom shower is perfectly fine because of the pandemic, I could never! I'm having a tiny outdoor shower with only immediate family (8 people total) late this summer to celebrate baby.

I had a zoom shower with friends all over the country. Just a bunch of games and breakout session trivia games. No gift opening. It worked out well.

[Anonymous]

Just pretend you didn’t get the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All showers for women over the age of 30 are pretty tacky.

Hahaha. Ok.

Why’s that? By DCUM standards everyone should be wealthy by then?

And have intimidated all of their family and friends away by their wealth and success.

And on dcum all 37 year olds look like they’re 22

[Anonymous]

I think the wording is terrible. I don't think wanting specific things like a specific strollers or bassinet is inappropriate. If you want to spend that, great. If not, buy the towels set. No issues and the parents get a discount on each item not purchased so they would be silly not to get 15,% off.

Many people like purchasing items for new parents. Either things they found helpful when they had babies or things b that are cute. Why not get the version of the thing the parent liked?