Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.

You didn't have much of a life before this did you? If you didn't have friends and you weren't dating or going out then you have given up nothing. I know that sounds very harsh but you need to understand that most domestic workers do, in fact, have a personal life outside of their employer's home. It is not reasonable for an employer to insist that their domestic employees completely give up any chance of having a personal life outside of work.

I think that you are selling yourself very short. Do you have social anxiety by any chance? Do you not hope to fall in love and have children of your own? Or have you accepted that this is all you deserve?

This is a smart nanny who prioritizes her life and health over some short term socializing

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

[Anonymous]

It has nothing to do with her living with OP. Nanny is not following the state mandate to shelter in place. This would be true whether she had her own apartment or not. If she's hanging out with friends, she's not sheltering in place.

She's young, she's bored, we get it. WE ARE ALL BORED AND WE ALL WANT TO BREAK SIP. But we don't because we understand that public health is more important than our own boredom and loneliness.

Again, the fact that she lives with OP is a red herring. The important fact here is that nanny isn't taking SIP seriously. That's poor judgment that warrants firing, IMO.

[Anonymous]

TEAM nanny all the way.

You do not own her. If you don't want to have the extra risk involved of having a nanny who sleeps outside of your home, then don't take on that risk. PLENTY of people who have nannies accept the risk and treat their nannies like human beings. I think you will regret your decision. I don't know what kind of person would choose to quarantine indefinitely with their employer.

[Anonymous]

She lived with you and lived away on weekends most of the time before this? Then, sorry, you can't force her to stay with you all of the time.

Plenty of children are going back and forth between divorced households during this time. I point this out to say that there is a spectrum of what stay at home looks like.

[Anonymous]

OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She lived with you and lived away on weekends most of the time before this? Then, sorry, you can't force her to stay with you all of the time.

Plenty of children are going back and forth between divorced households during this time. I point this out to say that there is a spectrum of what stay at home looks like.

But what would you expect her to do? It seems like she is being unsafe and thus her behavior would translate to the OP's household also being unsafe.
Or at a minimum, OP and nanny have different ideas about what is safe (And for the record, the OP's interpretation is WELL within normal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.

Do you live with you employer and therefore have not had any time away from work for 6-7 weeks? I feel like the nanny would probably have an easier time of it if she lives in her own place and therefore had the freedom when she wasn’t working to do things like make a snack or start a new project without having her every move scrutinized by her employer. Given what OP described, it sounds like even what she can eat is regulated by her employer if she’s not allowed to go out and get her own groceries.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is this: it is unsafe for the children, the parents and the nanny to socialize on weekends. Make sure zero difference if she’s live-in or live-out. No unnecessary contact with other people. Period. It has nothing to do with “owning” an employee. These are unprecedented times and it sucks for all of us.

This nanny is being stupid and childish. She is safe where she is no matter how hard it is to not be able to get away. But buck-the-F-up!
- a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is this: it is unsafe for the children, the parents and the nanny to socialize on weekends. Make sure zero difference if she’s live-in or live-out. No unnecessary contact with other people. Period. It has nothing to do with “owning” an employee. These are unprecedented times and it sucks for all of us.

This nanny is being stupid and childish. She is safe where she is no matter how hard it is to not be able to get away. But buck-the-F-up!
- a nanny

Yes, we heard you the first time you posted.

[Anonymous]

If you lay her off do you have a good alternative lined up? How essential is it right now for you to have a nanny? If she leaves you may find it difficult to find someone who wants to come isolate with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she resigned instead of being fired. I'd get clarification of that in an email. I'm not sure that she qualifies for unemployment.

False. OP wanted her to essentially work 7 days/week and not pay her for it.

OP has explained many times that she’s paying the nanny for 7 days

The nanny gets paid for the hours for she works which can include weekend hours. OP wants to control what the nanny does during off hours- the hours that the nanny is not getting paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is this: it is unsafe for the children, the parents and the nanny to socialize on weekends. Make sure zero difference if she’s live-in or live-out. No unnecessary contact with other people. Period. It has nothing to do with “owning” an employee. These are unprecedented times and it sucks for all of us.

This nanny is being stupid and childish. She is safe where she is no matter how hard it is to not be able to get away. But buck-the-F-up!
- a nanny

Yes, we heard you the first time you posted.

Grow up, child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.

Thank you
Yes it feels like one person just keeps repeating themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:nanny need to put up or get out. our nanny hasn't left the house. its the law, if i left i'd be quarantined for 14 days.

The governor has NOT ordered your nanny to be your 24/7 hostage and child care provider. She can leave her place of employment and attend to her personal life just like any other employee (grocery store, health care, food service, delivery driver, etc) does.

I can't believe how many of you are crazy enough to believe that the governor could order such a thing. That would actually be false imprisonment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.

Thank you
Yes it feels like one person just keeps repeating themselves

Except it’s not. Feel free to ask Jeff to confirm.