Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

OP, what state do you live in? I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s official regulation and what’s your self-imposed rules.

[Anonymous]

OP: my son wants to go visit his girl friend in another state. I told him it is fine but he can't come back.

You did nothing wrong. The nanny is free to leave, but she can't come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: my son wants to go visit his girl friend in another state. I told him it is fine but he can't come back.

You did nothing wrong. The nanny is free to leave, but she can't come back.

Except OP probably can’t legally evict the nanny right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what state do you live in? I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s official regulation and what’s your self-imposed rules.

NY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: my son wants to go visit his girl friend in another state. I told him it is fine but he can't come back.

You did nothing wrong. The nanny is free to leave, but she can't come back.

All of these decisions are so hard for all of us
But I’m glad your son is safe and with you

[Anonymous]

If the nanny is willing to give up her job and her housing, I suspect the issue is bigger than visiting friends and has been going on longer than the SIP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny is willing to give up her job and her housing, I suspect the issue is bigger than visiting friends and has been going on longer than the SIP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

OP hasn’t left their property in 2 months and expects her nanny to do the same. Most of us are at least going for walks and going to the store.

OP said her nanny takes their car and goes for drives and out for hikes on weekends.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny is willing to give up her job and her housing, I suspect the issue is bigger than visiting friends and has been going on longer than the SIP.

+1

She’s worked for us for almost six years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

Thank you
I think it’s just a crappy time and a crappy situation
Also in NY I just don’t know how we’re going to move forward, socially or professionally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

OP hasn’t left their property in 2 months and expects her nanny to do the same. Most of us are at least going for walks and going to the store.

OP said her nanny takes their car and goes for drives and out for hikes on weekends.

Yes my preference is not to leave, plus I work full time and home school is no joke
But our nanny likes to run and also go for drives and that’s fine with us
NY is more scary than the rest of the country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny is willing to give up her job and her housing, I suspect the issue is bigger than visiting friends and has been going on longer than the SIP.

+1

She’s worked for us for almost six years

That doesn’t mean she wasn’t increasingly unhappy with the situation going into this, it just may have been tolerable when she could escape on the weekends and intolerable now that she can’t. Really, you must actually think very little of her if you think she’d give up a great job working for wonderful people over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

OP hasn’t left their property in 2 months and expects her nanny to do the same. Most of us are at least going for walks and going to the store.

OP said her nanny takes their car and goes for drives and out for hikes on weekends.

Yes my preference is not to leave, plus I work full time and home school is no joke
But our nanny likes to run and also go for drives and that’s fine with us
NY is more scary than the rest of the country

Where in New York are you? Long Island? New Rochelle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny has lived with us for years, she usually leaves on weekends to stay with friends but hasn’t left for the last six weeks. On recent weekends she either works with us and gets paid over time, or does her own thing. She has her own private space within our home, with a separate entrance and free access to our car.
This week she told us that she now wants to leave on weekends to stay with her friends, she misses socializing and she believes that they’ve also been social distancing so it will be ok for her to spend the weekends with them. They are all young and her friends rent apartments and have room mates.
We told her that obviously she’s welcome to leave any time, but she won’t be able to come back this time as we’re taking the shelter in place directive seriously.
Do you think we’re being unreasonable?
We both work and need the help, and we won’t replace her given the current dynamic, but she’s been here and knows that we literally haven’t left our property for two months so we’re not going to be ok with her leaving

It is unreasonable if you are not paying her around the clock to be in your house on the weekends. No pay, no stay.

The nanny lives there.

Op if she goes out, she has to self isolate in her area of the house for two weeks.