husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, posters who are advising OP to abort and tell her DH she miscarried are disgusting. It is her choice, her RIGHT, and should not be covered up like some shameful secret. In addition, she does not live in a vacuum. Her decision affects many. She should own it, and be honest about it.

OP, this is really not something the internet can advise you on. Please take the advice of posters who are suggesting counseling and support groups (women’s center, planned parenthood, etc) as you decide what is best for you-and your family. Good luck.

Her decision doesn’t have to be a political statement unless she wants it to be. It can be her own personal business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quietly abort. Tell DH you had a miscarriage.

He won’t fall for that. No one would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

DP. I am very pro-choice and agree with you that it is ultimately OP’s decision whether to continue this pregnancy. What happens after that is not entirely in her control, though. Her husband would be entirely within his rights to file for divorce over this, and OP would be powerless to stop it. If OP’s daughter ever found out about it, she may have her own feelings about OP’s choice that could affect her relationship with OP. So while the ultimate decision is OP’s, I think it’s important for her to be realistic about how the various scenarios might play out as part of her decision-making.

Both of those scenarios are far superior to OP being forced to have a second, unwanted child and for said child to enter into a world having been so unwanted.

[Anonymous]

Get the abortion and say that you had a miscarriage. You certainly won't be the first. Also, I would promptly file for divorce, I don't take kindly to threats.

[Anonymous]

How old are you and DH? How many weeks pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your one child’s inheritance is your main concern? How about focusing on the great aspects of having a sibling instead.

My favorite saying about siblings: only your sibling will remember your childhood and what your parents were like as parents. Only siblings will ever know the whole story of your life intimately.

Plus my best friend in the world is an only child. Now that her parents are hitting their 80s, the burden of taking care of them is entirely on her. She has watched my siblings and me care for both of our parents through their final illnesses, and she is seeing her DH and their siblings cope with their parents. And she is alone in this burden. Both her DH and I are as helpful and supportive as we can be, but it’s not the same. It absolutely concerns me about what happens for her when they are gone, too. That’s far more important than an inheritance for a competent adult.

I was just hanging out with my sibling over the holidays. He remembers zero from our childhood and we don’t seem to have any shared memories. I have no idea why, he was there, he just doesn’t seem to have retained anything. I like him, but I think he would be hard pressed to come up with any details about my life so don’t have a sibling for that!

[Anonymous]

I doubt your husband would actually divorce over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it.

Hmm. OP doesn’t say she doesn’t want this clump of cells. She doesn’t say she doesn’t want this fetus. I wonder why?

Can you not dissect my wording? thank you.

When you post your situation on a message board, people will do what they want. You need to accept that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

DP. I am very pro-choice and agree with you that it is ultimately OP’s decision whether to continue this pregnancy. What happens after that is not entirely in her control, though. Her husband would be entirely within his rights to file for divorce over this, and OP would be powerless to stop it. If OP’s daughter ever found out about it, she may have her own feelings about OP’s choice that could affect her relationship with OP. So while the ultimate decision is OP’s, I think it’s important for her to be realistic about how the various scenarios might play out as part of her decision-making.

Both of those scenarios are far superior to OP being forced to have a second, unwanted child and for said child to enter into a world having been so unwanted.

Unless you are OP, you don’t know that choosing to have the baby would be worse than the alternatives. Part of being pro-choice is accepting that it’s OP’s choice to make, whether it’s the same one you think you would make or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

\\

100% There is no baby. And everything else written after that statement!

OP said there is a baby. Read her original post.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll post. OP says her daughter is set for life but won't be if she has to split the inheritance? Set for like is at least 5-10 million, splitting that is still a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

\\

100% There is no baby. And everything else written after that statement!

OP said there is a baby. Read her original post.

There is not. Go back to school and learn science.

Also, learn what Pro Choice means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

DP. I am very pro-choice and agree with you that it is ultimately OP’s decision whether to continue this pregnancy. What happens after that is not entirely in her control, though. Her husband would be entirely within his rights to file for divorce over this, and OP would be powerless to stop it. If OP’s daughter ever found out about it, she may have her own feelings about OP’s choice that could affect her relationship with OP. So while the ultimate decision is OP’s, I think it’s important for her to be realistic about how the various scenarios might play out as part of her decision-making.

Both of those scenarios are far superior to OP being forced to have a second, unwanted child and for said child to enter into a world having been so unwanted.

Unless you are OP, you don’t know that choosing to have the baby would be worse than the alternatives. Part of being pro-choice is accepting that it’s OP’s choice to make, whether it’s the same one you think you would make or not.

Exactly. Glad you agree. OP has said she wants an abortion. So posting comments that she should continue with the pregnancy, that it’s her husband and daughters decision as well, are inappropriate and uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the only issue is inheritance. In that case, have the child, work harder and get both set for life. Done and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

The baby has a body also. There are two bodies here.

Nope. 1) There is no baby. Just a clump of cells. 2) The woman has to consent to carrying those cells and in this case the woman does not. The woman’s choice will ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

\\

100% There is no baby. And everything else written after that statement!

OP said there is a baby. Read her original post.

There is not. Go back to school and learn science.

Also, learn what Pro Choice means.

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