School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

I would assume that a kid who doesn't usually have accidents but had a poop one probably has a stomach bug and should go home just for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

[Anonymous]

Bless her poor little heart, I just want to give that little girl a hug. I can only imagine how she must be feeling right now. I'm not normally a mushy mom, but my heart is breaking for this kid.

Please please please, take care not to let your own frustration show when you're with her, because shame will only increase her anxiety and exacerbate the issues. She's probably already embarrassed at school after so many accidents in such a short period of time, so she needs lots of understanding and reassurance from you if she's ever going to get back on track. Plenty of hugs and reminders that she's not alone, that you and her teacher are here to help.

Can she work out a signal with her teacher, something like putting her hand on top of her head or tapping her nose, if she's too shy to ask to go to the bathroom? My daughter had always been told not to interrupt adults when they're talking, and she was nervous about interrupting the teacher when she was helping another student. So her fabulous first grade teacher worked out a signal she could give from across the room when she need to go to the bathroom or take a de-stress break.

Presumably after this incident, your daughter's teacher will be really motivated to help her figure out a system that will work for both of them. But seriously: regulating toileting like that isn't medically healthy for a child. If the teacher still refuses to let her go at other times, then absolutely get a note from the doctor. Your daughter needs to know you're on her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

This is a ringing endorsement for at least one year of pre-school.

ITTTTTTA

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the entire thread so maybe I missed it but have you had her tested for a UTI yet? My DD had some accidents at the same age, during the summer so not at school thankfully, and it turned out she had a really bad UTI. Going frequently and not having control over it were her only signs since kids that age don't always have pain with them. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Are you serious? The school allows this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Are you serious? The school allows this?

Which part? Schools typically allow parents to come eat lunch with their kids, but it's not typical for parents to come every day. Some do and those tend to be the ones who feed their child (I've never seen baby bird style feeding, but I have seen parents put the spoon or fork to their child's mouth for them).

As far as the pants thing? We will coach the child through pulling up their own pants and if it still is a habit and the child still expects an adult to do it after a time or two, we'll send communication home for parents to work with their children on those types of skills and explain that students are expected to complete the entire toileting experience independently. It can take a long time for some kids (and parents) to understand this. -NP

[Anonymous]

Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Are you talking about redshirting? I am an immigrant and I have only seen it here.

In my culture, kids are potty trained at a very young age and potty accidents are rare. Also, kids are not allowed out of house to begin their day unless they have gone potty, brushed their teeth, taken a shower and had their breakfast.

I worked as a paraeducator at an ES, and I was shocked to see many children who come to school straight from bed, with dirty rumpled clothes, crusty eyes, uncombed hair and hungry. They also had to go and poop after they ate their free breakfast at school because they did not take care of their basic toileting needs before they came to school.

[Anonymous]

Try making her wear pants that are easy to pull on and pull off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, to OP Mom from a school clinic tech;

We are not allowed to even store changes of clothes, to include new underwear, in our clinics. A potty accident at least at my school is handled through the classroom teacher and front office. So if a student past second grade(lots of teachers in K-1) make students have one extra stored outfit)wets their pants you the parent get a call to bring a change of clothes. Huge waste of time for everyone.

As PPs said techs can’t get involved with cleaning up biohazards, or changing diapers or assisting a child with hanging clothes. It’s a biohazard and we collectively don’t have the training or specialized sterile environment. Privacy and safety issue, too. Think of the litigation if I stripped a child of his clothes (I’m female) in a school bathroom.

Think this through, OP. Parents like you make me angry.

My 1st grader sharted last year in school. I got a courtesy call from the clinic assistant that she had provided my daughter wipes and a new pair of underwear and that she was fine and back in class. I offered to come get my daughter and was told she was fine and that was not necessary. A few days later I dropped off a new pack of target underwear for their "stock" and she was appreciative as she says this is fairly common.

This is a public elementary by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, is your daughter used to using public toilets? Small kids can get nervous about using toilets in new places if they are not used to it. Could you take your child to the bathroom at school when you pick her up, just for her to get used to it?
Practice going at the mall? I recommend giving her a lot of vegetables after school to encourage an evening poop. Some people get into a routine of going at the same time everyday. My 5 year old says that she prefers to poop at home, but she also has never had a poop accident at school. She has control. She did have a ton of pee accidents at 3, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

DID YOU NOT READ THE FIRST POST YOU TWIT? She hasn't had any accidents for years. One pee and poop and you go to abuse? #stopthefearmongering