Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I am just too tired. I intervene most of the time but some days I just let it go. Sorry if I can’t be “on” 24/7 I am not supermom. Don’t assess my whole parenting philosophy based on one occasion.

[Anonymous]

Omg. Two neurotypical 5 year-olds should be capable of negotiating the dynamics of a playground slide by themselves. And if they can’t, it’s probably because they have had hovering parents who run and pluck them off at the slightest sign of discord. Good parenting does not mean curating conflict-free playground experiences. It also does not mean giving demonstrations of your parenting superiority through over the top and performative discipline.

Obviously if there is a safety issue or a major age/power differential it may take some intervention but a parent waiting and observing to see if they work it out is just doing their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Neither kid is more important than the other. Just let them work it out. They are at school all day without you- they know how to work it out!

Pretty sure half of these parents would love to shadow their kids all day to intervene on all of their social interactions.

Yes! I love the glorious helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

Fine, but don’t get upset when I intervene and tell your child to move because my child and others are waiting to use the equipment correctly. I’ve done this a few times, and the kids immediately move. I think kids just get tired of their parent’s voices when they know there are no consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

Fine, but don’t get upset when I intervene and tell your child to move because my child and others are waiting to use the equipment correctly. I’ve done this a few times, and the kids immediately move. I think kids just get tired of their parent’s voices when they know there are no consequences.

It's a PLAYGROUND. For CHILDREN There is no "playing with it correctly", there is just "playing with it". Do you also tell your kids they have to put their dollhouse furniture in their dollhouse "correctly", or make things with play doh "correctly"? Or build with their legos "correctly"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

I am! That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive. In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park. On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child. And this makes complete sense when you think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

I am! That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive. In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park. On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child. And this makes complete sense when you think about it.

DP, but it's the exact opposite in my neighborhood. Many--but not all--of the SAH crowd are overinvolved, and the WOH/WAH folks more hands off. That also makes sense: the latter group don't have time to nitpick over every detail. It goes both ways, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

I am! That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive. In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park. On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child. And this makes complete sense when you think about it.

DP, but it's the exact opposite in my neighborhood. Many--but not all--of the SAH crowd are overinvolved, and the WOH/WAH folks more hands off. That also makes sense: the latter group don't have time to nitpick over every detail. It goes both ways, PP.

Totally agree. WOHMs are virtually always more hands off, for a myriad of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Neither kid is more important than the other. Just let them work it out. They are at school all day without you- they know how to work it out!

Pretty sure half of these parents would love to shadow their kids all day to intervene on all of their social interactions.

Yes! I love the glorious helicopter parenting.

So sad that the hand-off parents don't understand that there is a common-sense, happy medium between helicopter parenting and getting off your duff to deal with your kid when it is necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

I am! That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive. In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park. On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child. And this makes complete sense when you think about it.

DP, but it's the exact opposite in my neighborhood. Many--but not all--of the SAH crowd are overinvolved, and the WOH/WAH folks more hands off. That also makes sense: the latter group don't have time to nitpick over every detail. It goes both ways, PP.

Totally agree. WOHMs are virtually always more hands off, for a myriad of reasons.

Oh all of you put a sock in it with the WOH/SAH generalizations. STOP IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see. The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once. So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers. The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest. It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with. Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold. I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them. Just a different mindset.

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?

I am! That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive. In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park. On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child. And this makes complete sense when you think about it.

DP, but it's the exact opposite in my neighborhood. Many--but not all--of the SAH crowd are overinvolved, and the WOH/WAH folks more hands off. That also makes sense: the latter group don't have time to nitpick over every detail. It goes both ways, PP.

Totally agree. WOHMs are virtually always more hands off, for a myriad of reasons.

Oh all of you put a sock in it with the WOH/SAH generalizations. STOP IT.

SAHM brought it up, honey.

And of course kids of working moms are more independent. That's a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

Fine, but don’t get upset when I intervene and tell your child to move because my child and others are waiting to use the equipment correctly. I’ve done this a few times, and the kids immediately move. I think kids just get tired of their parent’s voices when they know there are no consequences.

It's a PLAYGROUND. For CHILDREN There is no "playing with it correctly", there is just "playing with it". Do you also tell your kids they have to put their dollhouse furniture in their dollhouse "correctly", or make things with play doh "correctly"? Or build with their legos "correctly"?

DP and back at you. Don't be stupid. There are definitely safety issues at a playground that don't apply in those other situations. And turn taking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

Fine, but don’t get upset when I intervene and tell your child to move because my child and others are waiting to use the equipment correctly. I’ve done this a few times, and the kids immediately move. I think kids just get tired of their parent’s voices when they know there are no consequences.

I won't "get upset" in that I'm not going to intervene with YOU either. I am curious, though. Much of the equipment at a playground is designed to be used in different ways depending on what the children using the equipment choose. Your "incorrect use" of the slide is how someone else's child has chosen to use a piece of playground equipment that does not have specific guidelines for correct use. Some kids also like some parts of a playground more than others. My kid, for example, does not particularly care for the swings, so we are not and have never been swing monopolizers. However, she absolutely loves the slide and will go down it (and up, because I do not have a problem with her climbing up the slide) repeatedly. She is 2.5 and she is beginning to understand the idea of taking turns. My strategy, as a parent, is to use opportunities like the playground to give her the space to safely explore her abilities, including the ability to manage a social interaction where two kids want the same activity or toy, rather than to follow her around making sure she maximizes her enjoyment of each piece of equipment.

Either way, it sounds to me like you should be supporting your child in advocating for their own needs, rather than telling other people's children to move. Feel free to passive aggressively tell Larla, "ASK THAT GIRL TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE SLIDE SO YOU CAN USE IT CORRECTLY" though. It'll save me the trouble of deciding whether to encourage my kid to play with yours.