Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

This!

There is a happy medium, people. If your child is doing something dangerous, either to themselves or someone else, you intervene. You reiterate the rules. Climbing up the slide when the playground is busy and kids are waiting to come down counts. Not only can the kid going up get hurt by being hit/kicked, the kid coming down can get hurt. I know a kid who broke her leg coming down the slide when another kid got in the way. Sorry, but your kid learning the natural outcome is not worth my kid going to urgent care or the emergency room.

If there are not safety issues, then you can sit back and let kids play to an extent, but if your kid is being consistently rude, it's time to intervene again. Reiterate the rules. If they can't follow them, leave.

If you have a baby/ toddler, you need to pay attention the whole time and defer to the kids who are playing independently. You can't expect 4 or 5 year olds to be fully aware of where your toddlers are. Keep them out of the way of the bigger kids who are playing.

These things are so basic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're afraid of upsetting their kids.

The reason why there are so many spoiled brats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

+1000

PP, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

+1000

PP, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

+1

Come back when your kid is 6 and let us know how that's going. I'm sure he will always be aware of and cautious around little kids on the playground, especially when he's running around with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

+1000

PP, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

+1

Come back when your kid is 6 and let us know how that's going. I'm sure he will always be aware of and cautious around little kids on the playground, especially when he's running around with his friends.

Guys, her 21 month old helps the elderly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

+1000

PP, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

+1

Come back when your kid is 6 and let us know how that's going. I'm sure he will always be aware of and cautious around little kids on the playground, especially when he's running around with his friends.

Guys, her 21 month old helps the elderly!

I mean, my 4.5 year old DOES help the elderly and pick up trash, but she also runs like a wild child around the playground. BECAUSE SHE'S 4 FFS AND NEEDS TO LET OFF STEAM. If she bulldozes over your 21 month old, 95% sure she'd say sorry and help pick up the baby, but then she'd start running again and probably do it again five minutes later if the baby hasn't moved it's baby butt out of the way. BECAUSE SHE'S 4 FFS. Poor PP, the toddler/preschool years are going to hit her like a ton of bricks.

[Anonymous]

I see poorly behaved kids and I figure they have some mental deficiencies. Problem solved. I can be very charitable to unfortunate kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see poorly behaved kids and I figure they have some mental deficiencies. Problem solved. I can be very charitable to unfortunate kids.

I think our definitions of poorly behaved are different.

Screaming and throwing rocks at babies = poorly behaved.
Climbing up the slide with his friends or running around a playground with his friends = normal child on a playground

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc[b]. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

Oh, the classic talk of a mother of her first baby. "My kid will be different! He won't be like all of these other older kids I see!"

+1000

PP, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

+1

Come back when your kid is 6 and let us know how that's going. I'm sure he will always be aware of and cautious around little kids on the playground, especially when he's running around with his friends.

Guys, her 21 month old helps the elderly!

I mean, my 4.5 year old DOES help the elderly and pick up trash, but she also runs like a wild child around the playground. BECAUSE SHE'S 4 FFS AND NEEDS TO LET OFF STEAM. If she bulldozes over your 21 month old, 95% sure she'd say sorry and help pick up the baby, but then she'd start running again and probably do it again five minutes later if the baby hasn't moved it's baby butt out of the way. BECAUSE SHE'S 4 FFS. Poor PP, the toddler/preschool years are going to hit her like a ton of bricks.

WTF does your 4 yr old do for the elderly? Grocery runs? Give me a f*ckng break.

[Anonymous]

PP here. She offers to help people that look like "grandmas and grandpas" because we have a lot of elderly neighbors and local grandparents/aunts uncles (our aunts/uncles, not hers). I don't take credit for it, one of her grandmothers taught her to say good day and offer to take plates or ask if they need anything. I reinforce because it's adorable, but never would have thought to teach that on my own! She'll still bulldoze your 1 year old on the playground if said 1 year old is in the middle of everything and she doesn't see the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Neither kid is more important than the other. Just let them work it out. They are at school all day without you- they know how to work it out!

Pretty sure half of these parents would love to shadow their kids all day to intervene on all of their social interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

OP again and I let my kid climb up the slide when there aren't any other kids trying to use it. But if I see a kid at the top of the slide ready to go down, and my kid starts climbing up it, I'm going to intervene. Why is my kid so special that he gets to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless of the other kids that are waiting?

Apparently from all the responses here- the other kids are more important since they are older and in school and that they should work it out "cooperatively".

-salty mother of 21 month old

Yep. Salty AF. And also not going to let my kid run all over other kids but then again, he will also learn to open doors, help the elderly, pick up trash, etc. Be a good citizen and that requires being aware of your surroundings and understanding that in COMMON areas that are PUBLICLY funded you have to follow rules if others are around.

You're child SHOULD be able to understand the nuance and if they cant, you should model it.

I would be mortified if my 6-10 year old was not aware of others and if he cant move/avoid/be gentle while another little kid is taking up 2 ft of the playground then guess he needs to go play somewhere else.

You won’t notice any of this when your kid is older. It’s all new for you. A kid being bonkers on the playground does not equal rude sociopath elsewhere. That 2ft is best located off to the side, or in your arms if it’s a wild day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent. If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business. THEN you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset and that ruins the few hours they have each day. I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.