Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, but I want to know where I can meet kind, normal parents! They seem to be out in places like Burke maybe, but I’m also a minority so I wouldn’t really fit in anyway. Are there areas around here that people would vouch for where people are down to earth and there are also some minorities?

I live in Kentlands (Gaithersburg) and I think/hope my neighborhood fits the bill. I've found the parents really friendly and down to earth. We're also pretty diverse -- the local ES is 50% white, and on my block alone we have people from Iran, Colombia, and Russia.

We also have great community spirit. People from all over come for our Halloween celebrations because we go all out! In fact, my neighbor and I are hopefully throwing a Halloween block party this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop it with the "kids and parents here are SO different than anywhere else" meme? It's inaccurate and tiresome.

There are obnoxious kids and parents EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD, people.

I think it’s a “meme” for a reason though. Lots of people in this area are selfish and socially clueless, so their kids are bound to be. Are there other selfish and socially clueless people in other parts of the country? Sure, but there sure are a lot in this area.

There are also a lot of neurotic people in this area.

Oh come on. There are neurotic people everywhere. People love to act like this area is SO different, but it's really not. It's just like any other high-pressure, hyper-educated metro area.

Go to the NYC suburbs (where I grew up) and you'll see the same exact sht happening.

Oh yeah, I agree. That was me being a bit passive aggressive to the early “in this area” poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

Similar things have happened with my 3 year old and other kids. We'll tell her something like "don't climb up the slides" and she'll say "but that boy is doing it!"

We also had a situation where a kid who looked to be about 9 years old literally shoved my kid out of the way while he was running. I absolutely told him, "Watch it! She's a lot smaller than you!" He ignored me and the parents were nowhere to be seen.

It's just not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

[Anonymous]

Typos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

I’m the parent of the 2 year old upthread and I agree, don’t take your younger child to a playground meant for older kids. Or do take your 21 month old, but be mindful of the older kids and intervene sooner if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Climbing up the slide... I think kids need to work these issues out and don’t understand Karen getting involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Climbing up the slide... I think kids need to work these issues out and don’t understand Karen getting involved.

If it’s a young toddler climbing up, I do think the parent should move the kid away. If it’s a 5 year old, fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

+1. Find a playground that has a toddler area and separate big kid area. If the big kids are running crazily around the toddler area, THEN you say something. If your toddler is in the big kid area and is getting jostled around but not hurt, then who cares? If the big kid is putting your kid at risk or actually hurting him (like making him cry from pain hurt), then say something to the big kid ("that was dangerous, this baby could have fallen off of the slide"), then REMOVE YOUR KID FROM THE BIG KID AREA.

[Anonymous]

As long as we are venting, can I also say how annoyed I am by parents who climb on the play structures with children who are way to young to be up there? Get off and stop blocking other kids who are trying to climb and play.

[Anonymous]

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

So is there a mass message when older kids are not at the playground? /s

Seriously,we are the playground during evenings and on weekends like every other family with kids. Not to mention, this is a toddler-specific playground. Also, I am within a hugs reach at all times with my kid. I am intervening and protecting- constantly.

You're giving the boys will be boys reasoning and its a scapegoat. Little kids should have less emphasis put on rule following because it is harder for them to comprehend. If your 6 year old cant share equipment and watch out for others- they need to leave.

[Anonymous]

Do you know what I find annoying? When there are half a dozen kids climbing on the slides and playing happily, then one parent of a young toddler comes over and tries to make all of the other kids stop their play so little Larlo can go down the "right" way. It's a playground, FFS, let the kids play however they want as long as everyone's cooperating.

- DC Rec Center parent, can't speak to NOVA playgrounds.

[Anonymous]

My parents were somewhat physically abusive or at least very close to the line. I hated physically overpowering my children when they were little. So here was a lot of cajoling and sometimes bribing because I simply wasn’t willing to use physical force in a situation where it was t absolutely necessary. I wouldn’t call either of your examples not intervening. Perhaps ineffective, but the parents were intervening.

[Anonymous]

To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.