Reply to Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down.  Lots of: "Come on now Larlo.  I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off.  The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave.  Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla!  Please Larla!  We have to go.  If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene.  Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out?  I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.  [/quote]

Director of a center here - I have NO IDEA why parents won't parent.  If you actually pick up your 2 year old after making the request twice, and do that consistently for a few months, the 2 year old learns you mean business.  THEN  you don't have to make a request and plead and bribe etc your 5 year old because they learned when they were 2 years old that you mean business.

But I think in many cases parents are just too busy and see their child so little during the day that they[b] don't want to be "mean" and set limits because a child might cry and be upset  and that ruins the few hours they have each day[/b].  I also think there is a belief that we need to explain and give reasons and while I think that's better, and I don't believe in the "because I said so" all day every day, there is TOO MUCH explaining going on, which then becomes begging, pleading, etc.  [/quote]

I will say I notice some- SOME, NOT ALL BEFORE ANYONE KILLS ME- working moms behave this way, more so than the stay at home moms I see.  The stay at home moms come to the playground to meet up with other moms and have some adult conversation while they don't have to actively play with their child for once.  So they are a lot more hands off (for better or worse, sometimes) with their toddlers.  The working parents I see do TEND (not always of course) to kind of fawn over their kids on the playground and play WITH them more- climbing on the play structure, going down the slide to entertain them, etc and it's because they don't see them during the day.

This is not a judgment, honest.  It's just something I've noticed and something I actually really sympathize with.  Personally I would take my little kids to the playground when I coudln't take being cooped up inside any longer, rain or shine or heat or cold.  I noticed that my husband would take them on weekend mornings to do something fun with them and interact with them.  Just a different mindset. 
[/quote]

I see the complete opposite. No one hovers more than stay at home moms. Are you for real?[/quote]

I am!  That's why I said multiple times how this is surely not the rule for all parents and I wasn't trying to be offensive.  In my particular neighborhood, the stay at home moms tend to be more hands off and looking for social interaction for themselves when out at the park.  On the weekends, when more working parents are there, they tend to be there to experience the playground WITH their child.  And this makes complete sense when you think about it. [/quote]

DP, but it's the exact opposite in my neighborhood.  Many--but not all--of the SAH crowd are overinvolved, and the WOH/WAH folks more hands off.  That also makes sense: the latter group don't have time to nitpick over every detail.  It goes both ways, PP.[/quote]

Totally agree.   WOHMs are virtually always more hands off, for a myriad of reasons.[/quote]

Oh all of you put a sock in it with the WOH/SAH generalizations.  STOP IT.[/quote]

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