Feel like I'm on a crash course towards an affair. Can't stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am not meaning to respond to every accusation or come across defensive, I have really just been trying to add clarification. I am really not trying to make excuses, I’m listening to everyone’s advice and I appreciate those who have given sincere answers without the snark or personal insults.

You are only clarifying that you really, really want to have an affair and you are too selfish to concern yourself with the ramifications.

Or you're just trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am not meaning to respond to every accusation or come across defensive, I have really just been trying to add clarification. I am really not trying to make excuses, I’m listening to everyone’s advice and I appreciate those who have given sincere answers without the snark or personal insults.

It sounds like this thread has shown you that you really want to have an affair. Now use that information to decide whether it's because you want sex or you want out of your marriage. Either way you can find what you need. I would not get involved with anyone at work though. I promise there are plenty of people willing to have an affair with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am not meaning to respond to every accusation or come across defensive, I have really just been trying to add clarification. I am really not trying to make excuses, I’m listening to everyone’s advice and I appreciate those who have given sincere answers without the snark or personal insults.

It sounds like this thread has shown you that you really want to have an affair. Now use that information to decide whether it's because you want sex or you want out of your marriage. Either way you can find what you need. I would not get involved with anyone at work though. I promise there are plenty of people willing to have an affair with you.

When women have affairs it usually points to some serious issue that has nothing to do with sex or marriage.

Usually a huge need for external validation.

Don't drag your poor H to couples therapy, you need individual therapy.

[Anonymous]

Start looking for another job ASAP. Because if you don’t remove yourself from this situation, it’ll eventually be a disaster and you’ll be out on your a$$ anyway.

[Anonymous]

You seem like someone who is more practical and tactical in decision making - and are feeling clouded because you feel like a mess.
So turn this into a different type of decision -
literally take a piece of paper, divide it in half, one is the positives column, one is the negatives column - fill them out - the answer should become very clear for you. No one else can answer for you because we all operate with different moral compasses and risk/reward thresholds.

[Anonymous]

So, at the very least, you’re stringing this guy along that you wouldn’t normally consider because he has something you want (a job). All while you’re married to another guy? #hetoo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it's fine if you all want to bash me but that's not really helpful.

Don’t take the job. Your coworkers wil hate you once they are aware of the shi$ going on behind closed doors. And the guy sounds like a douche. He is playing you. I worked with a guy like this, married/kids hired his PYT affair she found out his wife was pregnant with #3 went running through office, he (CEO) chasing her. Ugly drama. Ended badly. You are in love with yourself—Narcissist.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can fall back in love with your husband. Use this situation to scare yourself straight about the direction of your life. Also, seduce your husband. If your husband is seriously disinterested in sex, go to couples therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine your family is a glass vase. Now take that vase and smash it on a concrete floor. That's what you'll be doing. And for what? A man who may not even leave his wife for you, whose children and family will despise and never accept you. Your financial security will be destroyed, your friends will drop you, your family will be ashamed of you, and your neighbors will gossip about you and avoid eye contact. You will halve the time you spend with your son, and eventually he may have a stepmother who kisses him good night instead of you.

Make better choices.

This. Read this every day when you are tempted to be in touch with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine your family is a glass vase. Now take that vase and smash it on a concrete floor. That's what you'll be doing. And for what? A man who may not even leave his wife for you, whose children and family will despise and never accept you. Your financial security will be destroyed, your friends will drop you, your family will be ashamed of you, and your neighbors will gossip about you and avoid eye contact. You will halve the time you spend with your son, and eventually he may have a stepmother who kisses him good night instead of you.

Make better choices.

This. Read this every day when you are tempted to be in touch with him.

Blah, blah, blah.
You two sound boring and judgmental.
Affairs seem to be the ultimate sin in American married couples, and people should loosen up.
Having feeling and sex with only one person, from the day you get married to the day you die, is a bit dreadful. A bit of variety here and there along the way, should not turn you into divorced material a******.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine your family is a glass vase. Now take that vase and smash it on a concrete floor. That's what you'll be doing. And for what? A man who may not even leave his wife for you, whose children and family will despise and never accept you. Your financial security will be destroyed, your friends will drop you, your family will be ashamed of you, and your neighbors will gossip about you and avoid eye contact. You will halve the time you spend with your son, and eventually he may have a stepmother who kisses him good night instead of you.

Make better choices.

This. Read this every day when you are tempted to be in touch with him.

Blah, blah, blah.
You two sound boring and judgmental.
Affairs seem to be the ultimate sin in American married couples, and people should loosen up.
Having feeling and sex with only one person, from the day you get married to the day you die, is a bit dreadful. A bit of variety here and there along the way, should not turn you into divorced material a******.

Fine, but then at least have an agreement in terms of variety. It's the sneaking around and lost of trust that destroys the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Ok OP so end your marriage. You have permission to do so.

Then go date around (single guys).

Don't get involved with a married man.

Your choice to be a sh!tty human being is your choice, and when sh!t hits the fan, it will fall entirely on your conscience. You have the freedom to end your marriage and date other with a clean conscience, but are too much of a coward to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP so end your marriage. You have permission to do so.

Then go date around (single guys).

Don't get involved with a married man.

Your choice to be a sh!tty human being is your choice, and when sh!t hits the fan, it will fall entirely on your conscience. You have the freedom to end your marriage and date other with a clean conscience, but are too much of a coward to do so.

That eliminates 90% of the men on here.