I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

In addition to marrying well, your DD can go to less prestigious college. Depending on her EQ and other aptitudes, she might be well suited to:

Teach, especially elementary school
Human Resources
Dental hygienist
Personal assistant
Clerk for any variety of govt agencies
Vet tech
Culinary school
Big pharma sales rep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about early childhood education?

Daycare worker, nanny, preschool teacher, etc.

Mostly you need to be warm, nurturing, cuddly, and super tolerant and patient.

Fwiw, most of the girls I know who went this route ended up marrying high income earners and “retired” in their late twenties/early thirties to become SAHMs. So there’s that too.

Yes, we have a friend who recently graduate HS and has a really tough time w/ retention. She is taking some classes at MC. THere are also colleges out there that have useful programs to help students. But, she is looking towards a career in ECE. She's great w/ kids. There are many potential talents. Academic intelligence is just one factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to marrying well, your DD can go to less prestigious college. Depending on her EQ and other aptitudes, she might be well suited to:

Teach, especially elementary school
Human Resources
Dental hygienist
Personal assistant
Clerk for any variety of govt agencies
Vet tech
Culinary school
Big pharma sales rep

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

She is pretty, kind, very empathetic, creative (although not amazingly creative), but she is a bit too shy to be considered personable.

She could be a dentist technician, paralegal, admin assistant, therapist, sonographer

I think you are over reacting, have her do her myers briggs.

Yes, she will make less than your H. That is common in this area, kids making less than their parents. It's not the end of the world.

Actually, I don’t want a paralegal with a slow processing speed who comes across as a dullard.

[Anonymous]

OP, this thread has gone sort of weird. But, i wanted to say that, as an educator of youth with and without special needs, the best thing you can do for her now (or in the near future) is get her work experience. I think we all learned early on that a large part of a job is...showing up. She needs to have early work experiences. Really, everyone does, but others may be faster on the uptake even if they start later. So, as a teen, she needs jobs. That way, she can learn what happens when you don't show up, don't act with confidence, etc., before it matters. At this age, this means leadership opportunities. You mentioned dance. She if she can help coordinate the next show, lead the decorations at the end of show party, etc. Something where she needs to take initiative. I know you said she's shy, but she can do this with others and/or you. This might mean you sign up to coordinate the rehearsal after-party, but make her do the work, for example. The key to entering the work world is working, early and often. That will help her learn her strength and weaknesses for herself. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

this.

she should lean into her strenghts.

become high eq, sociable, work out (even if you aren't blessed with an angelic face, a kickin bod will go a long way)...she'll be fine.

You can’t “become high IQ.” OP says her daughter is introverted and not outwardly charming.

Working out is good for everyone. But a kickin’ bod isn’t always within reach either. Some women have big, muscular legs, broad shoulders, or a slow metabolism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

I think for people like OP who are facing this is situation with their kids is that high school is going to be a struggle as will college. Students like this will have to studying three times as hard and work at it vs. a peer and that's tough and lots of kids won't be able to hang in there and do it. With college admissions they way they are, it's tough if you have a 2.8 to get into a public college these days.

It's also way more of a practical issue. Since my own child deals with low processing, in every day situations, since it takes her a little longer, or she can confuse something, or she doesn't quite get innuendo like others do, she can come off looking not so bright to others. People who don't know the person are not as forgiving and especially if it's a first impression. I think people don't understand that slow processing goes beyond academic work and effects kids in other areas and will eventually effect them as adults.

With maturity comes the ability to be better able to hide these deficits not necessarily that they go away.

OP here. EXACTLY. You get it. This is not just about her grades, she comes across as not so bright and it definitely carries over into other areas, I'm extremely worried about how this will impact her on the job as an adult. I also have to say, I'm surprised at how hostile some of the responses have been. I can't possibly be the only mom that suspects that her child might not have the chops to reasonably make it as an adult.

OMG. Do you have difficulty understanding the written word? A zillion people have told you that you are way catastrophizing and over-reacting, while at the same time failing to do what would actually be helpful (learn about LDs and where to get evaluated). You seem really invested in your daughter being hopeless and stupid. Why is that?

+1 I am done. I think the mom can't be real or lives in some bubble. People with 100 IQs and low processing speeds do just fine. Get her an executive functing coach. She can go college with extra time on exams. She'll have to work harder than her peers but so what. The job thing is just stange. Do you not interact with people in the real world. Lots of dummies with full-time jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

this.

she should lean into her strenghts.

become high eq, sociable, work out (even if you aren't blessed with an angelic face, a kickin bod will go a long way)...she'll be fine.

You can’t “become high IQ.” OP says her daughter is introverted and not outwardly charming.

Working out is good for everyone. But a kickin’ bod isn’t always within reach either. Some women have big, muscular legs, broad shoulders, or a slow metabolism.

You can’t become high EQ, that is.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why ok thinks you have to be smart or have a high processing speed to hold a full time job. I don't understand why she isn't hearing everyone telling her that. I am guessing she is mourning some highhigh achieving version of her daughter but can't say so since it is a little bit socially taboo to want that so instead she's convinced herself her daughter won't be able to hold a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

Op's daughter needs to learn how to take care of herself. There is no guarantee that husband/wife won't divorce her, get injured or die.

Please ignore this pp. It is not realistic or smart. Get your kid the help she needs.

[Anonymous]

While there are a handful of jobs that are out of reach (brain surgeon, astrophysicist...), the vast majority of jobs can be done successfully by someone with her profile. I know several people in “Big Law” for instance that are not particularly smart, have ADHD/executive function issues, &/or were below average students.

If she finds something she enjoys & is willing to work hard, she has a good chance of succeeding. What are her interests outside of school? Favorite subjects in school?

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of jobs that require performing the same activity over and over and over again, where processing speed won't have much of an effect. Your daughter will be able to get and hold a job, especially with an IQ in the high average range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymou[b wrote:s]I don't understand why ok thinks you have to be smart or have a high processing speed to hold a full time job. I don't understand why she isn't hearing everyone telling her that.[/b] I am guessing she is mourning some highhigh achieving version of her daughter but can't say so since it is a little bit socially taboo to want that so instead she's convinced herself her daughter won't be able to hold a job.

OP here. I have been trying hard not to get angry with the posters like you, but I'm getting quite frustrated. What can I say? I'm her mother, I know what she's like and from what I see of her she seems like she will be very impacted on the job. And no, I'm not just talking about high achieving jobs. I think the job she would have the absolute hardest time with is a being a waiter. Yes, I get that there are people who aren't particularly smart or have high processing speeds who do fine. But my daughter is very negatively impacted by her slow processing speed. On most days, I try to tell myself the things that many others have said, oh she'll mature and it will get better, things will work out. But on other days, like today, when I'm being truly honest with myself, I can't help but admit to myself that I have a very hard time imagining her holding onto anything but the most rudimentary job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of jobs that require performing the same activity over and over and over again, where processing speed won't have much of an effect. Your daughter will be able to get and hold a job, especially with an IQ in the high average range.

What are these jobs?

[Anonymous]

She is not very smart? Then she is perfectly suitable for the US workforce. Look around you. The workplace is filled with people with low processing speed.

As long as she is pleasant, has good manners, does not rock the boat, and does not give up on her studies, she will be ok.