I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

Preschool teacher in a MD public school. I make $70K per year so not exactly peanuts. I don't know why people think you can't make any money teaching pre-k. If you work in a daycare setting, they may hire people with a college degree but public school districts have to hire certified teachers and to be certified, you need at least bachelor's degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

I think for people like OP who are facing this is situation with their kids is that high school is going to be a struggle as will college. Students like this will have to studying three times as hard and work at it vs. a peer and that's tough and lots of kids won't be able to hang in there and do it. With college admissions they way they are, it's tough if you have a 2.8 to get into a public college these days.

It's also way more of a practical issue. Since my own child deals with low processing, in every day situations, since it takes her a little longer, or she can confuse something, or she doesn't quite get innuendo like others do, she can come off looking not so bright to others. People who don't know the person are not as forgiving and especially if it's a first impression. I think people don't understand that slow processing goes beyond academic work and effects kids in other areas and will eventually effect them as adults.

With maturity comes the ability to be better able to hide these deficits not necessarily that they go away.

OP here. EXACTLY. You get it. This is not just about her grades, she comes across as not so bright and it definitely carries over into other areas, I'm extremely worried about how this will impact her on the job as an adult. I also have to say, I'm surprised at how hostile some of the responses have been. I can't possibly be the only mom that suspects that her child might not have the chops to reasonably make it as an adult.

If she isn't interested in social work or teaching, how about cosmetology? You can make decent money and it skews more towards the creative end than the paper pusher end.

[Anonymous]

can you give examples? As to why you think she's not bright? I have a PhD and my DH jokes that I do things which are retarded sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teacher in a MD public school. I make $70K per year so not exactly peanuts. I don't know why people think you can't make any money teaching pre-k. If you work in a daycare setting, they may hire people with a college degree but public school districts have to hire certified teachers and to be certified, you need at least bachelor's degree.

OP here, actually I do realize that pre-school teachers in public schools earn the same as other teachers. But I assume that when people are suggesting pre-school teacher they are referring to the ones that don't have pk-6 certifications and are working at daycare/private pre-schools. These are the ones I am referring to when I say they barely make over minimum wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

this.

she should lean into her strenghts.

become high eq, sociable, work out (even if you aren't blessed with an angelic face, a kickin bod will go a long way)...she'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

My DS was just tested and his IQ is 130 and he is super lazy. He does the bare minimum just to get by. Mine is at least 10 points lower and I have 2 Master's degrees. IQ isn't everything. My older brother was the same way. IQ in the 99th percentile and he dropped out of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:can you give examples? As to why you think she's not bright? I have a PhD and my DH jokes that I do things which are retarded sometimes.

She has a hard time retaining information, needs lots of repetition, comes across as flighty, works very slowly, and has a very difficult time breaking tasks down into chunks (which in and of itself might not have to do with intelligence).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

I think for people like OP who are facing this is situation with their kids is that high school is going to be a struggle as will college. Students like this will have to studying three times as hard and work at it vs. a peer and that's tough and lots of kids won't be able to hang in there and do it. With college admissions they way they are, it's tough if you have a 2.8 to get into a public college these days.

It's also way more of a practical issue. Since my own child deals with low processing, in every day situations, since it takes her a little longer, or she can confuse something, or she doesn't quite get innuendo like others do, she can come off looking not so bright to others. People who don't know the person are not as forgiving and especially if it's a first impression. I think people don't understand that slow processing goes beyond academic work and effects kids in other areas and will eventually effect them as adults.

With maturity comes the ability to be better able to hide these deficits not necessarily that they go away.

OP here. EXACTLY. You get it. This is not just about her grades, she comes across as not so bright and it definitely carries over into other areas, I'm extremely worried about how this will impact her on the job as an adult. I also have to say, I'm surprised at how hostile some of the responses have been. I can't possibly be the only mom that suspects that her child might not have the chops to reasonably make it as an adult.

I think it’s because you are talking about your DD. It is political incorrect to say a girl is not smart. If the gender was reversed they would just laugh at you and say the world needs ditch diggers. Just ignore the haters.

[Anonymous]

Have you had her tested for learning issues? If so, she can get accommodations in school that could really help her. Please don't let her pick up on what you think of her. She has no control over the way she is. I teach students in regular ed who have IQs as low as 70. I've never thought "Will they ever be able to get a job?" There is a lid for every pot. She is still young and has a lot of years ahead of her. Get her help now and she may surprise you. My friend went through school with an IEP and went to college where they had a program for students who need extra support. She is a successful teacher who gives PDs all over the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

NO. Now I think you're a troll.

OP here. Believe me I am not a troll, I'm just sad and at my witt's end and hoping someone can give me some advice.

Lots of people (including me) have given you the exact right advice which is to seek out a professional evaluation if you truly have concerns about how she is doing in school. But you keep ignoring that, probably because you are on here for your own jollies.

Like I have said before my big concern at the moment isn't school Yes, it's possible to get her accomodations that will help her get through. But that won't help her on the job. Her future employer won't care about whether she has a designated learning disability and be willing to extend accomodations. An employer only cares about how she performs. THIS is my big worry.

This is not realistic. I have managed many poeple and everybody is bad at something. We are constantly sending poeple to Franklin Covey for organizational skills and communications classes.

Give me an agreeable person ... a book smart know it all will be fired quickly.

Does Franklin Covey have classes for children?

For teens.

https://www.franklincovey.com/Solutions/education/7habits-teen.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twelve is a good time to start to look for her strengths and look for ways to optimize her career path. Figure out what she is good at and see if you can find a way to guide her towards a career that makes the most of those strengths. It may not necessarily be college or a professional type job. In fact, odds are it won't be. One of the problems millennials faced is that so many of them had parents that pushed them into college that we ended up with many more college grads than there were professional level jobs for them.

But there are many jobs that require vocational or technical skills that do not require a fast thinker or an above average intelligence where she could be very successful. Cooking, HVAC, electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, clerical skills, mechanics, nursing, and dental hygienist are just a few of the careers that don't require a college degree (at least not for all jobs in these careers) and that people can be very successful at. Additionally, someone can go into retail and become a manager or supervisor and still make a decent living.

The important thing is to steer her towards the things that she does well and then for her to go towards a career that takes advantage of the skills that she does have.

You're on crack if you think nurses and dental hygienists don't have college degrees. They absolutely do. Even a 2 year associates degree takes 4 years with all the prerequisite classes.

LPN's can take a one year nursing course through an accredited LPN/LVN program. No college required.

I'm sorry, I was incorrect about the dental hygienist. That requires at least a 2 year AA degree. However, a dental technician can get a degree through a vocational school and work in a dentist office at a livable wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:can you give examples? As to why you think she's not bright? I have a PhD and my DH jokes that I do things which are retarded sometimes.

She has a hard time retaining information, needs lots of repetition, comes across as flighty, works very slowly, and has a very difficult time breaking tasks down into chunks (which in and of itself might not have to do with intelligence).

This is the PHD PP. My nickname in my household is Sloth because I work damn slowly. I spent an hour shredding cooked chicken thighs to make into a salad today and my husband was amused. My point is slowness in itself doesn't mean anything. But you mention flighty... As in she changes her mind a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

I think for people like OP who are facing this is situation with their kids is that high school is going to be a struggle as will college. Students like this will have to studying three times as hard and work at it vs. a peer and that's tough and lots of kids won't be able to hang in there and do it. With college admissions they way they are, it's tough if you have a 2.8 to get into a public college these days.

It's also way more of a practical issue. Since my own child deals with low processing, in every day situations, since it takes her a little longer, or she can confuse something, or she doesn't quite get innuendo like others do, she can come off looking not so bright to others. People who don't know the person are not as forgiving and especially if it's a first impression. I think people don't understand that slow processing goes beyond academic work and effects kids in other areas and will eventually effect them as adults.

With maturity comes the ability to be better able to hide these deficits not necessarily that they go away.

OP here. EXACTLY. You get it. This is not just about her grades, she comes across as not so bright and it definitely carries over into other areas, I'm extremely worried about how this will impact her on the job as an adult. I also have to say, I'm surprised at how hostile some of the responses have been. I can't possibly be the only mom that suspects that her child might not have the chops to reasonably make it as an adult.

OMG. Do you have difficulty understanding the written word? A zillion people have told you that you are way catastrophizing and over-reacting, while at the same time failing to do what would actually be helpful (learn about LDs and where to get evaluated). You seem really invested in your daughter being hopeless and stupid. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twelve is a good time to start to look for her strengths and look for ways to optimize her career path. Figure out what she is good at and see if you can find a way to guide her towards a career that makes the most of those strengths. It may not necessarily be college or a professional type job. In fact, odds are it won't be. One of the problems millennials faced is that so many of them had parents that pushed them into college that we ended up with many more college grads than there were professional level jobs for them.

But there are many jobs that require vocational or technical skills that do not require a fast thinker or an above average intelligence where she could be very successful. Cooking, HVAC, electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, clerical skills, mechanics, nursing, and dental hygienist are just a few of the careers that don't require a college degree (at least not for all jobs in these careers) and that people can be very successful at. Additionally, someone can go into retail and become a manager or supervisor and still make a decent living.

The important thing is to steer her towards the things that she does well and then for her to go towards a career that takes advantage of the skills that she does have.

You're on crack if you think nurses and dental hygienists don't have college degrees. They absolutely do. Even a 2 year associates degree takes 4 years with all the prerequisite classes.

LPN's can take a one year nursing course through an accredited LPN/LVN program. No college required.

I'm sorry, I was incorrect about the dental hygienist. That requires at least a 2 year AA degree. However, a dental technician can get a degree through a vocational school and work in a dentist office at a livable wage.

My best friend with (undiagnosed) learning disorders is an LPN now with two kids and a nice condo. She married a really good guy who is a blue collar worker; they staggered shifts when the kids were babies to minimize childcare. Her parents (UMC/academic medicine) helped her out with the condo and some other money along the way. She's super happy and just a great person. My DH (who is a curmudgeon) met her one time and immediately loved her. She did really struggle in school, poor thing. I think she would have suffered less if she was a kid today and got diagnosed with supports in school, but I think she ended up in a good place.

[Anonymous]

She may have something else. My 13 yo DD has low processing speed (<25) and it doesn’t impact her intelligence at all. Her IQ is 123 and her SSAT is 92.