Husband had a baby with assistant update

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

[Anonymous]

Per her original post Op texted the OW and said she wanted to send money and know what the baby needed so if OW wants child support back to birth she just might get it. Op acknowledged the baby was her husband's and that they wanted to help financially.

Of course it's all still a load of crap but if we are believing op's narrative this is what would be so. So I guess say bye to that $38k she wants.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So annoying when DCUM sleuths think they've found a hole in someone's story, but they actually just have really shitty reading comprehension skills.

Not that PP but have you read all of her threads? Holes that could eat galaxies. If not, keep reading, it'll become more clear to you.

I've read on this thread what people consider to be holes. It's just very basic, easy to understand stuff (for most people)...what the situation is now vs. what the situation will be going forward, after the OP's divorce is finalized, and after this other case is settled. What this woman wants the arrangement to be vs. what the arrangement is now/has been. It seems like some people just can't manage to wrap their heads around that.

I guess I'm just as bored as the OP today. For me, it started falling apart with that line about the crummy condo followed by concern for the kids. I thought it seemed like a spurned wife's fantasy to see her cheating husband being forced to support two families with no custody while he's reduced to living with his mother. That is just the perfect vengeance, right?

But it just made the rest of the story sound like fantasy as well, so I went back and read. The details get hokey on the very first page of the thread.

I can't find the one she posted at Christmas but it was like someone's Lifetime Movie fantasy come to life. The OW lives in a trailer with her husband (who in the first thread had left her) with tons of blow up Christmas decorations on the lawn. In anger one night OP SLASHED one and yelled to all the neighbors a whore lived there! And got a restraining order! But her husband was still at home with the extended family having a good old fashioned family Christmas because OP requested it.

OP here. Not even close.

That is exactly what you said at the time but you probably got Jeff to delete the thread at some point so you can claim you never did.

Yep. I remember that thread too. Maybe this OP is the same Troll that keeps posting all the detailed threads about living overseas and her husband maybe cheating on her, then definitely cheating, how can she survive living there, whoops I'm now pregnant but should I get an abortion, how do I make him live in the spare bedroom, I'm moving to Chicago and want a job in PR...

[Anonymous]

Oh she's got us on a trollercoaster for sure. Either none of this ever happened or parts of it did but the husband left her long ago and the kids love baby brother and OW is normal and she's just sitting at her table like Roseanne crafting this alternate reality.

[Anonymous]

If the paternity tests shows that your DH is NOT the father, will you still want a divorce? That is always a possibility, even if a slim one.

[Anonymous]

Women stupid enough to have babies with married men should get absolutely nothing. It is contributory negligence. Married Men who can't keep their pants zipped should be given a public vasectomy and a damn good public flogging!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh she's got us on a trollercoaster for sure. Either none of this ever happened or parts of it did but the husband left her long ago and the kids love baby brother and OW is normal and she's just sitting at her table like Roseanne crafting this alternate reality.

I went looking for the Christmas thread and found two others on the subject - Christmas one is gone, though. It's really interesting how many different departures there have been from the original (or at least, the story I originally read). At first the OP wanted the child to be a part of their family, but the other woman refused. They sent checks to support the child though the OW was refusing them visitation. Then the OW was harassing them (even calling OP's MIL!) demanding that he visit he visit his child. Then the OP said she wanted nothing to do with his bastard child. She's so angry she wants to bash his face in when she looks at him, but she's still sleeping in the same bed with him two years later. She's talked to numerous counselors and psychologists about how to handle the kids, but somehow thinks lying to them and miraculously hiding all this drama (harassing calls! couples and individual counseling! vandalism! restraining order!) and then springing it on them all at once is the best thing for them. As does, I guess, her family who know all about it but keep smiling and pretending it's not happening.

Based on the timing of all the threads, I was first thinking bored student on break. But after reading the many different versions, I think it's more likely a person who's getting therapy from the sympathy of anonymous people.

Even more interesting is how many posters fill in details and keep the story going. I think Jeff should go ahead and create another forum for divorce. It'll get a lot of action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you work too, and you're so concerned about your kids having to spend time in a dumpy condo he shares with his mom, why did you negotiate for more child support than he is required to pay?

He hasn't moved into the condo and is still living at the house. Makes no sense for him not to move over the summer and get settled vs. have it a s big shock for the kids during the middle of the school year. She took more child support to block the other mom/child from getting it. $1800 for two kids is not a high earner amount, especially if she is leaving him broke enough where he cannot get a 1-2 bedroom apartment.

The 1800.00 is the child support that will be given to the other woman and the child. (And her husband). He is not a real high earner but is paying me more. The problem is that he will have to support three households.

Yikes!? How much does the other woman and her husband earn? 1800 seems really high even if your soon to be ex-H gets to see/care for the child 10days/month.

Has it crossed your mind that this woman is out to make a profit on ruining a marriage and bringing a precious child into the picture?

Child support is only based on her income. Her husband (if considered the step-father) is not included in the formula. She makes $10.00 an hour.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Apart from all the emotions here, I'm curious how this will be settled as a legal matter. The married couple are raising the child as their own (and that seems fine with exH/bio dad?) yet they're seeking to legally sever ties from he only father relationship this child knows. All this for child support. Is that right?

It sounds like it is all about money. He'd being an idiot for paying child support now without a court order and more importantly, a paternity test. They are spending thousands on attorney's when a paternity test is a few hundred dollars. It sounds like "dad" is allowed to be the favorite uncle in exchange for cash. But, OP is saying mixed things such as mom wants dad to have the kid for 10 days a month to he only gets visits 2 weekly at a public park.

OP here- What? He is not paying child support. He has not seen the child in months. If he is required to pay child support, the kid's last name is changed to his and he is determined the legal father, he will have 30/70 custody (around 10 days a month) and 50/50 legal custody. The family court system now gives generous rights to fathers.

There is no DNA at this point. None. I have not wanted him to do DNA until my settlement was complete. She has wanted DNA all along. He did not do it because I asked him to let me get my child support in place first.

Do you really think she would go this far if she wasn't 100% sure it was his? Always a small chance but I doubt it.
My child support is in place. The child support she receives goes off the reduced income from what we get.


DNA away at this point.

So now she wanted Dna all along? When you posted about this originally your husband did and she balked:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/360/419905.page

OP here - I was lied to by my husband. Imagine that.

[Anonymous]

OP, for your kids sake, set a good example. Get a paternity test, have him pay child support, have him get his own housing and move on. And, for your sake too.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update OP. I hope you're doing ok. I think about you from time to time. You're handling this with dignity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

Was your sister married with her husband raising the child as his own? Providing medical care, food and shelter. This child has a legal father that loves him. If your sister was single, I can understand this but OP's husband's OW has had her own husband supporting the child the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Op said in October of 2014 that she was done, not coming back to check the threads and "peace out."
And here we are in 2016 with an update and still no patently test.
In 2014 the story was that the OW didn't want the test because then OP would be in the child's life as well, so the OW changed her mind about wanting testing and apparently OP husband went along with it. At that time OP was calling herself the stepmother and trying to send money and baby clothes.
The OW was working from home, arranged by OP's husband to decrease the drama at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the paternity tests shows that your DH is NOT the father, will you still want a divorce? That is always a possibility, even if a slim one.

OP here- Yes. I could have gotten over the affair but never the lies afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Op was threatening to get 50/50 custody in 2014, the OW's husband was contacting her and had left the OW at one point , and OP was planning to raise all 3 kids together for the "best situation for all 3."
Highlights from other thread