Help me to understand transgender identity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a completely off the wall hypothesis on this but it stems from my religion so probably not going to be entertained well here. Here it is: I believe in reincarnation. That the soul enters the body sometime during gestation and exits during death. During each lifetime, the soul grows and learns lessons that are necessary for growth and liberation from this cycle of birth and death.

However, we sometimes start to get attached to our body. Rather than recognizing that we are not our body but we are our soul, we start to define our being by characteristics of our body. This becomes problematic for a soul that enters a body of different gender than the last life.

For example, in my last life maybe I was in a feminine, strongly female defined body. Or maybe the last 10 life's, I have always been in a femail body. But in this life I am in a male body. Despite the current body form, my soul retained the attachment to the previous female forms and now I feel like I should be a woman. The feeling is strong because of my soul's strong association with my last bodies.

Just my theory on this.

Interesting. I believe something similar in that I was a man in my previous life. Although totally straight hetero woman I used to tell friends as a 13 yr old I wished I was a guy. As I grew to an adult I realized how hard women have it around the world. Plastic surgery, sex, rape, harassment, disrespect by both genders, sexism by both genders, a ticking biological clock, less opportunity, etc. things we learn in karmic life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wait until someone leaves or go into one with an open door like the rest of us.

Do you really peer through the gap in the door to ascertain if someone is inside? At most you look under the door to see if you see feet.

And if they happen to be pointing the wrong way, you get to go home and tell people you were almost raped in the women's room.

So you have never, while walking to the stall with an open door, seen with your peripheral vision that someone is in the stall with the closed door? Really? Some doors are so crooked that you don't need to peer. Your eye will catch a glimpse while passing by.

Like I said, people don't have issues with trans using the restrooms. It is the weirdos who will pose as transgender to gain access to the restroom that people are worried about.

And if you saw a penis what would happen? Would your eyes burn off? If my DD saw a penis, what would happen? Would her eyes burn off? No... I may be in the position to have to talk to her about transgendered people, but that is not the end of the world either. I really do not understand why some people have such an issue with sharing a bathroom.

That's what I don't get. During the course of almost 50 years of using public women's restrooms, I don't think that I've ever seen anybody's pants equipment. Never. Not even once. Who are all these people who apparently are regularly getting peripheral glimpses of pants equipment in the stalls of women's restrooms, and what are they doing? Creepy.

[Anonymous]

You naysayers realize that you have probably gone to the bathroom in a public restroom at the same time as a transgendered individual right? I mean do you scrutinize every single other individual in the bathroom to ensure that they have the "right" genitalia? Do you look everyone up and down to make sure they aren't transgendered? I just don't get this. I assume that transgendered individuals have been using the bathroom that they feel best aligns with their gender since the advent of gender specific bathrooms. I doubt someone that is MTF is going to walk into the men's restroom while looking like a woman. That makes no sense.

Further, if a man or anyone is going to assault someone in a bathroom, they will do it regardless of the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wait until someone leaves or go into one with an open door like the rest of us.

Do you really peer through the gap in the door to ascertain if someone is inside? At most you look under the door to see if you see feet.

And if they happen to be pointing the wrong way, you get to go home and tell people you were almost raped in the women's room.

So you have never, while walking to the stall with an open door, seen with your peripheral vision that someone is in the stall with the closed door? Really? Some doors are so crooked that you don't need to peer. Your eye will catch a glimpse while passing by.

Like I said, people don't have issues with trans using the restrooms. It is the weirdos who will pose as transgender to gain access to the restroom that people are worried about.

And if you saw a penis what would happen? Would your eyes burn off? If my DD saw a penis, what would happen? Would her eyes burn off? No... I may be in the position to have to talk to her about transgendered people, but that is not the end of the world either. I really do not understand why some people have such an issue with sharing a bathroom.

Good point, I am 52 and I have never seen anybody genitalia in the bathroom, ever.

That's what I don't get. During the course of almost 50 years of using public women's restrooms, I don't think that I've ever seen anybody's pants equipment. Never. Not even once. Who are all these people who apparently are regularly getting peripheral glimpses of pants equipment in the stalls of women's restrooms, and what are they doing? Creepy.

[Anonymous]

Posted using my phone, and somehow my quote got embedded in the above quote. I was saying that I am 52 years and never seen anybody genitalia in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I would be perfectly okay with everybody, male and female, all just using unisex bathrooms. I have a tween daughter, but she has a father and brothers, so an accidental glimpse of something isn't going to be a big deal. However, I am struggling with how to explain the idea of transgenderism to her, more so than her brothers, because I am very uncomfortable with the gender stereotypes that are inherent in the idea that someone feels like a man or a woman on the inside. What does that mean? It seems mostly cultural. I don't want her to absorb the idea, one that was pushed on me as a young girl and young woman interested in a field of work that was not traditionally female (or any type of work at all, according to my family), that being a girl on the inside means that you like certain subjects at school, certain colors, certain types of books, or sports, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be perfectly okay with everybody, male and female, all just using unisex bathrooms. I have a tween daughter, but she has a father and brothers, so an accidental glimpse of something isn't going to be a big deal. However, I am struggling with how to explain the idea of transgenderism to her, more so than her brothers, because I am very uncomfortable with the gender stereotypes that are inherent in the idea that someone feels like a man or a woman on the inside. What does that mean? It seems mostly cultural. I don't want her to absorb the idea, one that was pushed on me as a young girl and young woman interested in a field of work that was not traditionally female (or any type of work at all, according to my family), that being a girl on the inside means that you like certain subjects at school, certain colors, certain types of books, or sports, etc.

It means that they feel like a man or a woman on the inside. What do you feel like on the inside? What if I told you that your feeling was incorrect, because [reasons]?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be perfectly okay with everybody, male and female, all just using unisex bathrooms. I have a tween daughter, but she has a father and brothers, so an accidental glimpse of something isn't going to be a big deal. However, I am struggling with how to explain the idea of transgenderism to her, more so than her brothers, because I am very uncomfortable with the gender stereotypes that are inherent in the idea that someone feels like a man or a woman on the inside. What does that mean? It seems mostly cultural. I don't want her to absorb the idea, one that was pushed on me as a young girl and young woman interested in a field of work that was not traditionally female (or any type of work at all, according to my family), that being a girl on the inside means that you like certain subjects at school, certain colors, certain types of books, or sports, etc.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be perfectly okay with everybody, male and female, all just using unisex bathrooms. I have a tween daughter, but she has a father and brothers, so an accidental glimpse of something isn't going to be a big deal. However, I am struggling with how to explain the idea of transgenderism to her, more so than her brothers, because I am very uncomfortable with the gender stereotypes that are inherent in the idea that someone feels like a man or a woman on the inside. What does that mean? It seems mostly cultural. I don't want her to absorb the idea, one that was pushed on me as a young girl and young woman interested in a field of work that was not traditionally female (or any type of work at all, according to my family), that being a girl on the inside means that you like certain subjects at school, certain colors, certain types of books, or sports, etc.

+1

That's a really good question, PP. Have you asked your local PFLAG chapter for resources? They might be able to help.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe this segment from the Daily Show might help you understand what's going on with this issue

http://gawker.com/watch-the-daily-shows-jessica-williams-eviscerate-trans-1769670263

[Anonymous]

09:42. I don't actually think that I feel like a man or a woman inside. I'm just me, with my own unique set of interests and characteristics. I don't dispute that others may feel differently. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain this to my daughter in a way that isn't sexist, and enforces cultural gender stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even shorter PP: People are being themselves wrong!

They are not "being themselves." They are costuming like its Halloween

You: I'm being myself.
Me: No, you're not. I know more about you than you do.

Then be yourself but not in the womens bathrooms. Last time we checked you have a penis and we don't, so you aren't like us.

Why are you checking people's genitalia?

Also, is that how you decide on people's gender when you meet them -- by checking on their genitalia? "Excuse me, sir, you look like a man, and you act like a man, and you say that you're a man, but you might not have the genitalia of a man, so could you please drop your pants and let me see for myself?"

You don't look as good as a woman as you think you do, PP. You look like a cartoonish characterization. Sorry but yes, we can tell.

But hey, whatever you want to do, that's cool with me. Just not in the women's bathroom which is, as designated by signage, for women. You are not a woman. You are a man who is pretending to be a woman, for reasons that make sense only to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:09:42. I don't actually think that I feel like a man or a woman inside. I'm just me, with my own unique set of interests and characteristics. I don't dispute that others may feel differently. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain this to my daughter in a way that isn't sexist, and enforces cultural gender stereotypes.

I would start by saying, "We all feel differently. For example, I don't feel like a man or a woman inside."

Also, maybe read some writing by transgender people about transgender identity. I don't think I've ever read anything by a transgender person that said anything like, "I like trucks, so I felt like a boy." or "I like cooking, so I felt like a girl."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even shorter PP: People are being themselves wrong!

They are not "being themselves." They are costuming like its Halloween

You: I'm being myself.
Me: No, you're not. I know more about you than you do.

Then be yourself but not in the womens bathrooms. Last time we checked you have a penis and we don't, so you aren't like us.

Why are you checking people's genitalia?

Also, is that how you decide on people's gender when you meet them -- by checking on their genitalia? "Excuse me, sir, you look like a man, and you act like a man, and you say that you're a man, but you might not have the genitalia of a man, so could you please drop your pants and let me see for myself?"

You don't look as good as a woman as you think you do, PP. You look like a cartoonish characterization. Sorry but yes, we can tell.

But hey, whatever you want to do, that's cool with me. Just not in the women's bathroom which is, as designated by signage, for women. You are not a woman. You are a man who is pretending to be a woman, for reasons that make sense only to you.

I'm the PP you're responding to, and actually I'm a cisgender woman. Specifically, a cisgender woman who thinks that the world would be a better place if all people were allowed to pee in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:09:42. I don't actually think that I feel like a man or a woman inside. I'm just me, with my own unique set of interests and characteristics. I don't dispute that others may feel differently. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain this to my daughter in a way that isn't sexist, and enforces cultural gender stereotypes.

I would start by saying, "We all feel differently. For example, I don't feel like a man or a woman inside."

Also, maybe read some writing by transgender people about transgender identity. I don't think I've ever read anything by a transgender person that said anything like, "I like trucks, so I felt like a boy." or "I like cooking, so I felt like a girl."

This. Being trans* has little to do with culturally-assigned gender roles, and more to do with personal biology and chemistry. Years ago, I taught a trans* individual (a first-grader), who by outside appearances was "all boy." (S)he was born a biological male, loved robots and knights (not princesses), among lots of other interests, and didn't wore the same clothes as six-year-old male peers. But (s)he knew on the inside that (s)he was a girl, and the family was in therapy to learn exactly what that meant and how best to support the child.

This isn't a decision that's taken lightly. Trans =/= drag queen (or drag king). In fact, Carmen Carrera, who appeared on the third season of RuPaul's Drag Race, came out as trans* during the reunion special, and announced that she could no longer be a drag performer because she had realized she was a real woman, not a caricature of one.