Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Told her. She asked a lot of questions, and cried a little. She did not know the extent of it, but knew that her FIL was demanding.

She said that she never liked her FIL one bit. She said that she had seen slight glimpses of his temper and at times she actually tried to provoke him to see if he would boil over.

She knows about the woman who told me. Her DH saw her as an aunt who always had something nice to say to them. That woman is only about 11 years older than her DH.

She did not tell me what she is going to do, but I get the impression that her main focus is the "bastard" of a FIL.
BTW, she was not angry at me.

b Little pot stirrer. You disgust me.

Her sister was not angry with her because she had seen that the FIL had anger issues. Now she knows not to leave her children alone with him. You abuser protectors disgust me.

No one here has even remotely suggested she protect the FIL.

What you and the others overlook is the BILs feeling in the matter he shared or in this case did not share certain things for a reason. But hey OP got her Saturday gossip fix and you all got to participate in some DCUM drama, Yay for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing, OP.

She did not do the right thing. This is her BIL's life experience to share of he wants to do so. It is not up to a non relative to go telling tales.

Don't worry. It's pretty clear OP is a troll.

She probably won't return, If she does she'll update saying her BIL is so grateful for this opportunity to open up about everything and he never would have without her intervention or 2. She'll claim her BIL reacted violently to the news and she was right to tell the sister because she always suspected he had a mean streak..


On the very slim chance this is a true story I hope BIL is able to get away from his wife and her family. Sister wanting to provoke her FIL is disturbing, I won't even get into OP's astounding lack of empathy.
This is one case I hope BIL divorces his wife and her family and their culture, finds someone who truly cares about him and not just drama and is able to heal from his childhood in his own way and his own time and maybe in time finds a spouse who understands and respects that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Told her. She asked a lot of questions, and cried a little. She did not know the extent of it, but knew that her FIL was demanding.

She said that she never liked her FIL one bit. She said that she had seen slight glimpses of his temper and at times she actually tried to provoke him to see if he would boil over.

She knows about the woman who told me. Her DH saw her as an aunt who always had something nice to say to them. That woman is only about 11 years older than her DH.

She did not tell me what she is going to do, but I get the impression that her main focus is the "bastard" of a FIL.
BTW, she was not angry at me.

Your sister sounds as toxic as you.

Ha! Now OP is being accused of being an abuser. Ridiculous!

God I hope this isn't real. If not your poor brother in law he goes from one abusive family to another.

[Anonymous]

Disappointing that you said something to her. Shame on you, honestly. You had no business doing that when you had no reason to believe that the abuse has now started up with the dad and kids. How embarrassing too. What a shame, for you and for her and for her relationship with her husband (assuming it was reasonably tranquil).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disappointing that you said something to her. Shame on you, honestly. You had no business doing that when you had no reason to believe that the abuse has now started up with the dad and kids. How embarrassing too. What a shame, for you and for her and for her relationship with her husband (assuming it was reasonably tranquil).

Abusers like to shame people into silence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Told her. She asked a lot of questions, and cried a little. She did not know the extent of it, but knew that her FIL was demanding.

She said that she never liked her FIL one bit. She said that she had seen slight glimpses of his temper and at times she actually tried to provoke him to see if he would boil over.

She knows about the woman who told me. Her DH saw her as an aunt who always had something nice to say to them. That woman is only about 11 years older than her DH.

She did not tell me what she is going to do, but I get the impression that her main focus is the "bastard" of a FIL.
BTW, she was not angry at me.

b Little pot stirrer. You disgust me.

Her sister was not angry with her because she had seen that the FIL had anger issues. Now she knows not to leave her children alone with him. You abuser protectors disgust me.

No one here has even remotely suggested she protect the FIL.

What you and the others overlook is the BILs feeling in the matter he shared or in this case did not share certain things for a reason. But hey OP got her Saturday gossip fix and you all got to participate in some DCUM drama, Yay for you.

. This. The lack of concern for the victim in all of this disheartening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Told her. She asked a lot of questions, and cried a little. She did not know the extent of it, but knew that her FIL was demanding.

She said that she never liked her FIL one bit. She said that she had seen slight glimpses of his temper and at times she actually tried to provoke him to see if he would boil over.

She knows about the woman who told me. Her DH saw her as an aunt who always had something nice to say to them. That woman is only about 11 years older than her DH.

She did not tell me what she is going to do, but I get the impression that her main focus is the "bastard" of a FIL.
BTW, she was not angry at me.

Your sister sounds as toxic as you.

Ha! Now OP is being accused of being an abuser. Ridiculous!

God I hope this isn't real. If not your poor brother in law he goes from one abusive family to another.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing, OP.

She did not do the right thing. This is her BIL's life experience to share of he wants to do so. It is not up to a non relative to go telling tales.

Don't worry. It's pretty clear OP is a troll.

She probably won't return, If she does she'll update saying her BIL is so grateful for this opportunity to open up about everything and he never would have without her intervention or 2. She'll claim her BIL reacted violently to the news and she was right to tell the sister because she always suspected he had a mean streak..


On the very slim chance this is a true story I hope BIL is able to get away from his wife and her family. Sister wanting to provoke her FIL is disturbing, I won't even get into OP's astounding lack of empathy.
This is one case I hope BIL divorces his wife and her family and their culture, finds someone who truly cares about him and not just drama and is able to heal from his childhood in his own way and his own time and maybe in time finds a spouse who understands and respects that.

Agree 100%

[Anonymous]

If I even so much as safer an office with someone who abuses his kid, and my sister knows, she should tell me. So if my FIL abused a child and she knew and didn't tell me????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I even so much as safer an office with someone who abuses his kid, and my sister knows, she should tell me. So if my FIL abused a child and she knew and didn't tell me????

as share

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing, OP.

She did not do the right thing. This is her BIL's life experience to share of he wants to do so. It is not up to a non relative to go telling tales.

Don't worry. It's pretty clear OP is a troll.

She probably won't return, If she does she'll update saying her BIL is so grateful for this opportunity to open up about everything and he never would have without her intervention or 2. She'll claim her BIL reacted violently to the news and she was right to tell the sister because she always suspected he had a mean streak..


On the very slim chance this is a true story I hope BIL is able to get away from his wife and her family. Sister wanting to provoke her FIL is disturbing, I won't even get into OP's astounding lack of empathy.
This is one case I hope BIL divorces his wife and her family and their culture, finds someone who truly cares about him and not just drama and is able to heal from his childhood in his own way and his own time and maybe in time finds a spouse who understands and respects that.

Agree 100%

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing, OP.

She did not do the right thing. This is her BIL's life experience to share of he wants to do so. It is not up to a non relative to go telling tales.

Don't worry. It's pretty clear OP is a troll.

She probably won't return, If she does she'll update saying her BIL is so grateful for this opportunity to open up about everything and he never would have without her intervention or 2. She'll claim her BIL reacted violently to the news and she was right to tell the sister because she always suspected he had a mean streak..


On the very slim chance this is a true story I hope BIL is able to get away from his wife and her family. Sister wanting to provoke her FIL is disturbing, I won't even get into OP's astounding lack of empathy.
This is one case I hope BIL divorces his wife and her family and their culture, finds someone who truly cares about him and not just drama and is able to heal from his childhood in his own way and his own time and maybe in time finds a spouse who understands and respects that.

Agree 100%

+1,000,000

ITA. As PP who worked in the court system, what OP is doing is akin to putting the survivor on the stand - without the option not to.

OP, you are in no position to talk to anyone - hell, you are not even family, technically.

[Anonymous]

The title of this thread should have been:

"My sister's FIL abused kids, and I don't think that she knows".

Would that have been better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing, OP.

She did not do the right thing. This is her BIL's life experience to share of he wants to do so. It is not up to a non relative to go telling tales.

Don't worry. It's pretty clear OP is a troll.

She probably won't return, If she does she'll update saying her BIL is so grateful for this opportunity to open up about everything and he never would have without her intervention or 2. She'll claim her BIL reacted violently to the news and she was right to tell the sister because she always suspected he had a mean streak..


On the very slim chance this is a true story I hope BIL is able to get away from his wife and her family. Sister wanting to provoke her FIL is disturbing, I won't even get into OP's astounding lack of empathy.
This is one case I hope BIL divorces his wife and her family and their culture, finds someone who truly cares about him and not just drama and is able to heal from his childhood in his own way and his own time and maybe in time finds a spouse who understands and respects that.

Agree 100%

+1,000,000

ITA. As PP who worked in the court system, what OP is doing is akin to putting the survivor on the stand - without the option not to.

OP, you are in no position to talk to anyone - hell, you are not even family, technically.

. + 1

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing telling your sister.