What is it like to be a family at an elite NWDC Private who can just barely afford it?

[Anonymous]

Rapists*

[Anonymous]

Dh is in biglaw but is a senior associate, not a partner. We will most likely be full pay assuming ds gets in, but we will fill out the financial aid paperwork anyway.

My understanding is that full pay families are NOT subsidizing financial aid, but that the actual cost to the school per student is higher than the published tuition cost. It is the donors who donate beyond tuition who are subsidizing everyone else.


I don't get the hate for pp - we are comfortable with our choices so anyone else making different choices just doesn't even hit my radar. Schools give FA and that's what it is there for. An attorney choosing to work for DOJ or whatever is a world away from some deadbeat parent working under the table so they don't have to pay child support.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't mind you asking for financial aid. If you qualify on the numbers, you qualify, and that's up to the school, not me.

I just have a difficult time thinking of a lawyer at the DOJ as a public servant who is making a huge sacrifice to serve other people. Now that you have been more specific about the criminal work you do and the lack of some of the perks that I have seen, I can start to see it a bit more. It's not the same sort of work or sacrifice as, say, a firemen.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is asked to donate beyond tuition if they are full pay. I don't hear hate for the PP, just frustration that she doesn't care that her subsidy doesn't come at a cost to others. That user attitude is somewhat repugnant not the FA itself. I do find the examples of who is getting FA interesting. The numbers seem really high. I know teachers who are full pay. Is it the difference between those who save and those who don't?

[Anonymous]

Schools - Pay the administrators less, pay the teachers more, and only award FA to people who for some reason can't immediately afford it, but may do so in the future - make it a contract. Stop the subsidizing which seems like what a people are doing or expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh is in biglaw but is a senior associate, not a partner. We will most likely be full pay assuming ds gets in, but we will fill out the financial aid paperwork anyway.

My understanding is that full pay families are NOT subsidizing financial aid, but that the actual cost to the school per student is higher than the published tuition cost. It is the donors who donate beyond tuition who are subsidizing everyone else.


I don't get the hate for pp - we are comfortable with our choices so anyone else making different choices just doesn't even hit my radar. Schools give FA and that's what it is there for. An attorney choosing to work for DOJ or whatever is a world away from some deadbeat parent working under the table so they don't have to pay child support.

I suspect long time government lawyer who is scraping to be full pay is going to resent you for applying. However, I know quiet a few attorneys at big law whose kids receive some assistance...the thing is their peer at
The school don't know and assume they are full pay. I think people would be surprised to know who is actually getting FA and who isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but I don't really think of attorney jobs at the DOJ as public service jobs where you are making a big sacrifice to serve your country. I've worked in Big Law and I have friends at the DOJ/FTC/SEC etc. and once people have families, almost everybody who isn't a partner wants a government job because the lifestyle is just more conducive to a real family life, the pace is slower, there are fewer crazy clients asking weird things of you on your weekend time, and you're still making >$100K.

DOJ etc. attorney jobs are in very high demand by very smart people -- it's not like you're teaching science in Appalachia. If you have to hold your nose so much to perform your DOJ job -- it's such a tremendous personal sacrifice to work for $130K a year, get every other Friday off, telecommute, and spend quality time with your family -- I suggest that you quit your job and get that high salary job in Big Law you've been secretly dreaming about, and give someone else a chance at yours, because many would take it and be quite good at it.

You people are nuts! Hold my nose? I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's the only thing I have ever wanted to do! And maybe your friends telecommute every week and whatever other perks that you think makes its a cushy job, but that's not my reality. When you start prosecuting drug rings, rap soars and murders come back and tell me about how easy I supposedly have it. The real issue with all of you is how dare I an attorney have the nerves to ask for financial aid.
Who care whether my financial situation actually supports it, right? It's just how dare I an attorney of all things not feel ashamed to need FA.
And give me a damn break $130K is not comparable to $300K. And dream
Of a job at big law. Don't kid yourself...it's not everyone's dream...graduating in the top 10% of my class at a top 20 I certainly could have had big law if I ever wanted it. Imagine some of us don't dream of being a partner at a firm...

Welcome to the middle class squeeze. You are not eligible for FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't mind you asking for financial aid. If you qualify on the numbers, you qualify, and that's up to the school, not me.

I just have a difficult time thinking of a lawyer at the DOJ as a public servant who is making a huge sacrifice to serve other people. Now that you have been more specific about the criminal work you do and the lack of some of the perks that I have seen, I can start to see it a bit more. It's not the same sort of work or sacrifice as, say, a firemen.

You are correct it's not the same sacrifice as a fireman, police officer,
Teacher, etc. When I speak of sacrifice I mean a financial one given how much it cost me to become an attorney and others people's perception of what every lawyer must be making. The ROI isn't as high, but I'm OK with that.
I live a fairly modest lifestyle and I'm more than happy with that too.
However, when it comes to making sure my children receive a quality education I feel no sense of shame
In saying I need assistance paying for them to go to a good private school.
Because my lifestyle is modest I don't live in a neighborhood with good schools and the thought of my children not being prepared academically to achieve the same level of education I have is unsettling. I have no problem
Paying for their education. If I made big law money I wouldn't blink at paying the cost.
It's not about wanting FA, it's about actually needing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids is at a pricey NW DC private. We get 1/3 in financial aid as a dual fed family. We still pay a ton, as my other kid is in a private (but much lower key) which costs the same as the amount of tuition we still pay after financial aid at the pricier school. We get by with help from our parents for now. The amount of wealth in this school is unlike anything I've experienced before; it is truly another world from the one we live in (and it has nothing to do with anyone flaunting money...it is just obvious). Anyhow, it's a great school for my kid, but we don't feel like a real part of the community. It's impossible with work to join in on all the events, and with such a focus on pricey fundraisers with exotic trips, I just can't fake the enthusiasm the other moms seem to exude. So, I don't. I'm very well bonded with parents in my other kid's school though as they are more like us and I didn't have to try. Parents at the pricey school seem to have more of an agenda when it comes to socializing.

+100 Both my mother and my DH attended pricey/ elite private schools. It seemed to scar them for life. They both feel like outsiders. I guess there must be a certain kind of person who thrives on this. My DS is at a private -- family tradition -- It is a better education, but socially, it is isolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but I don't really think of attorney jobs at the DOJ as public service jobs where you are making a big sacrifice to serve your country. I've worked in Big Law and I have friends at the DOJ/FTC/SEC etc. and once people have families, almost everybody who isn't a partner wants a government job because the lifestyle is just more conducive to a real family life, the pace is slower, there are fewer crazy clients asking weird things of you on your weekend time, and you're still making >$100K.

DOJ etc. attorney jobs are in very high demand by very smart people -- it's not like you're teaching science in Appalachia. If you have to hold your nose so much to perform your DOJ job -- it's such a tremendous personal sacrifice to work for $130K a year, get every other Friday off, telecommute, and spend quality time with your family -- I suggest that you quit your job and get that high salary job in Big Law you've been secretly dreaming about, and give someone else a chance at yours, because many would take it and be quite good at it.

You people are nuts! Hold my nose? I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's the only thing I have ever wanted to do! And maybe your friends telecommute every week and whatever other perks that you think makes its a cushy job, but that's not my reality. When you start prosecuting drug rings, rap soars and murders come back and tell me about how easy I supposedly have it. The real issue with all of you is how dare I an attorney have the nerves to ask for financial aid.
Who care whether my financial situation actually supports it, right? It's just how dare I an attorney of all things not feel ashamed to need FA.
And give me a damn break $130K is not comparable to $300K. And dream
Of a job at big law. Don't kid yourself...it's not everyone's dream...graduating in the top 10% of my class at a top 20 I certainly could have had big law if I ever wanted it. Imagine some of us don't dream of being a partner at a firm...

Welcome to the middle class squeeze. You are not eligible for FA.

Actually I am...LOL. What's interesting is how many people assume they know who is qualified and who isn't. FA at IS isn't based just on gross income...and some schools are a lot more generous than others based on their philosophies, endowment fund, and ultimately who they want to be a part of the school.
FA at IS in no way mirror FA in college. There are no federal guidelines dictating what the formula.
Most IS don't even have a salary cutoff for eligibility (please read up post where poster said her HI was almost $300K and they receive some
assistance). Unlike most who get the bulk of their information from
This forum I've actually had indepth conversations with the schools I am applying to, their award process and what financial pictures they take into account. I've also talked to the families who receive aid and asked what's the best way to go about applying. So while you all may think "oh no way..." I can count on more than my two hands families whose circumstances and awards dictate otherwise.

[Anonymous]

You think it's hard to prosecute murders? Try defending securities fraudsters!

Calling DOJ "public service" is perverted. I don't care where your kids go for free but you're gross.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, DOJ is not really public service. Many, many attorneys there prefer a more sane work schedule, and do not want to stress themselves out slaving away at a firm working 80+ hours a week. I don't blame them for making that choice, but I can't say that they're making huge sacrifices for the good of the public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, DOJ is not really public service. Many, many attorneys there prefer a more sane work schedule, and do not want to stress themselves out slaving away at a firm working 80+ hours a week. I don't blame them for making that choice, but I can't say that they're making huge sacrifices for the good of the public.

Most people who have not worked in the public sector think that the sacrifice is only in pay. In reality it is public service because the bureaucracy is so bad and some of the people you interact with are so stupid it is a sacrifice to bite your tongue and focus on the goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but I don't really think of attorney jobs at the DOJ as public service jobs where you are making a big sacrifice to serve your country. I've worked in Big Law and I have friends at the DOJ/FTC/SEC etc. and once people have families, almost everybody who isn't a partner wants a government job because the lifestyle is just more conducive to a real family life, the pace is slower, there are fewer crazy clients asking weird things of you on your weekend time, and you're still making >$100K.

DOJ etc. attorney jobs are in very high demand by very smart people -- it's not like you're teaching science in Appalachia. If you have to hold your nose so much to perform your DOJ job -- it's such a tremendous personal sacrifice to work for $130K a year, get every other Friday off, telecommute, and spend quality time with your family -- I suggest that you quit your job and get that high salary job in Big Law you've been secretly dreaming about, and give someone else a chance at yours, because many would take it and be quite good at it.

You people are nuts! Hold my nose? I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's the only thing I have ever wanted to do! And maybe your friends telecommute every week and whatever other perks that you think makes its a cushy job, but that's not my reality. When you start prosecuting drug rings, rap soars and murders come back and tell me about how easy I supposedly have it. The real issue with all of you is how dare I an attorney have the nerves to ask for financial aid.
Who care whether my financial situation actually supports it, right? It's just how dare I an attorney of all things not feel ashamed to need FA.
And give me a damn break $130K is not comparable to $300K. And dream
Of a job at big law. Don't kid yourself...it's not everyone's dream...graduating in the top 10% of my class at a top 20 I certainly could have had big law if I ever wanted it. Imagine some of us don't dream of being a partner at a firm...

Welcome to the middle class squeeze. You are not eligible for FA.

Actually I am...LOL. What's interesting is how many people assume they know who is qualified and who isn't. FA at IS isn't based just on gross income...and some schools are a lot more generous than others based on their philosophies, endowment fund, and ultimately who they want to be a part of the school.
FA at IS in no way mirror FA in college. There are no federal guidelines dictating what the formula.
Most IS don't even have a salary cutoff for eligibility (please read up post where poster said her HI was almost $300K and they receive some
assistance). Unlike most who get the bulk of their information from
This forum I've actually had indepth conversations with the schools I am applying to, their award process and what financial pictures they take into account. I've also talked to the families who receive aid and asked what's the best way to go about applying. So while you all may think "oh no way..." I can count on more than my two hands families whose circumstances and awards dictate otherwise.

These families are not beloved at private. We know who you are. Full pay parents who have sacrificed by working and earning the money for private don't love those who "have their reasons" that they get a free ride.

[Anonymous]

LOL