What is it like to be a family at an elite NWDC Private who can just barely afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked. I come from a European country and I am profoundly shocked. From this posts, it appears that in the US you are basically what you have. I have friends who are real estate agents, personal assistants. I come from a wealthy aristocratic family. My friends come from a diverse and broad variety of background (that is ehat happens when the best tertisry education is public). I will never, or had never, looked down any of my friends /or better, anyone for the money they have. On the contrary. I, for example, admire my housekeeper. She had 11 children in a rural village of Ecuador, in an abusive marriage, and was able to migrate to my country and -over the years- naturalize and bring all her kids there. One has a substantial disability. She was able to find him a job. Two of her children are going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in the country -while they clean houses and work as part-time nannies to support their living. I truly admire this hardworking woman.
I have family members who believe working -really- is kind of shameful for their status (a minority of them, basically one or two). I don't admire them at all, nor does most of our society. How does having money make you a better person or more worthy -yes I mean worthy- to society? There are true mean and twisted people with and without money. I think being a loser is having so much focus on what people have rather on how they are, not being a hard-working real estate agent.

I wonder how this woman would feel if her kid married the housekeeper's kid. Self-righteous European, do you extend the same admiration for Muslim immigrant's kid who wants to make it out of the slum in your European country? Do you not discriminate against them when they apply to schools and jobs? Here in America, a poor kid can go to an elite school if he can get in and will be given a job based on their qualifications not their ethnicity. There is racism here but it is not as rampant as it is in Europe. A fancy German once told me that it doesn't matter if a Turkish kid had been born and raised in Germany, that kid would never be a real German. It is completely possible in America to move up in society, not so much in Europe. You want to talk about shock, im shocked at how openly racist Europeans are or maybe that's a good thing, at least you have the decency to show your true colors up front.

Have you ever lived in Europe? Besides, take a look to the data. It does not support, at all, any of your statements. Please read a little bit about it. It is not good to be so strongly and wrongly opinionated about things that are easy verifiable (you have not even Google the topic, just try, you will discover an amazing amount of studies showing how US and the UK are the countries with less mobility among, lets say, their "peer" countries)
Moreover, I have lived in Germany, The Netherlands, France, Spain, UK and Italy. None of these countries is even close to the level of discrimination and segregation -yes, segregation- I have experienced here. Mobility? Really? With no access to health care or to a good education -hello Anacostia schools, yeah, a lot of mobility there. In Germany attending University is free. In The Netherlands they pay you to attend. Literally. And common', here Latinos have been around for decades and Mexican is still and insult in many circles. Even if we are talking about third generation Americans. Lets talk about the facts, not only about our patriotic beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked. I come from a European country and I am profoundly shocked. From this posts, it appears that in the US you are basically what you have. I have friends who are real estate agents, personal assistants. I come from a wealthy aristocratic family. My friends come from a diverse and broad variety of background (that is ehat happens when the best tertisry education is public). I will never, or had never, looked down any of my friends /or better, anyone for the money they have. On the contrary. I, for example, admire my housekeeper. She had 11 children in a rural village of Ecuador, in an abusive marriage, and was able to migrate to my country and -over the years- naturalize and bring all her kids there. One has a substantial disability. She was able to find him a job. Two of her children are going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in the country -while they clean houses and work as part-time nannies to support their living. I truly admire this hardworking woman.
I have family members who believe working -really- is kind of shameful for their status (a minority of them, basically one or two). I don't admire them at all, nor does most of our society. How does having money make you a better person or more worthy -yes I mean worthy- to society? There are true mean and twisted people with and without money. I think being a loser is having so much focus on what people have rather on how they are, not being a hard-working real estate agent.

Typical aristocrat who thinks she BFF with her housekeeper. Wait isn't there a movie about that?

Very funny. No, she is not my best friend. But she truly cares for me and I truly care for her. We keep in touch. Every time I return we meet, we spend time together. A coffee, a lunch. She is much older than me, but we get on well and we appreciate each other very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is really ALL relative! I went to a horrible public school where many were middle or lower class, and I was probably somewhere in the lower middle, could feel quite inadequate at times. People are always going to feel inferior, if they let themselves. It is up to parents and the value system they teach their children to help them rise above it. So whether it be an inner city public school or an elite DC private, you are going to have a range of socio-economic classes. How you identify with it is really all that matters.

Very true

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked. I come from a European country and I am profoundly shocked. From this posts, it appears that in the US you are basically what you have. I have friends who are real estate agents, personal assistants. I come from a wealthy aristocratic family. My friends come from a diverse and broad variety of background (that is ehat happens when the best tertisry education is public). I will never, or had never, looked down any of my friends /or better, anyone for the money they have. On the contrary. I, for example, admire my housekeeper. She had 11 children in a rural village of Ecuador, in an abusive marriage, and was able to migrate to my country and -over the years- naturalize and bring all her kids there. One has a substantial disability. She was able to find him a job. Two of her children are going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in the country -while they clean houses and work as part-time nannies to support their living. I truly admire this hardworking woman.
I have family members who believe working -really- is kind of shameful for their status (a minority of them, basically one or two). I don't admire them at all, nor does most of our society. How does having money make you a better person or more worthy -yes I mean worthy- to society? There are true mean and twisted people with and without money. I think being a loser is having so much focus on what people have rather on how they are, not being a hard-working real estate agent.

Typical aristocrat who thinks she BFF with her housekeeper. Wait isn't there a movie about that?

As soon as all the refugees start flooding their public schools, the white Europeans will be pulling their kids and moving them to private.

Some European nations actually give students a constitutional right to attend any private school at public expense. Many developing countries also find ways, even with more limited resources, to give parents and students choice. For example, most Western democracies provide partial or full funding for non-government schools chosen by parents; the United States (apart from a few scattered and small-scale programs) is the great exception, along with Greece. Please, reeaaaaddddddd!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at cathedral schools. It's hard when all your kids friends belong to the Chevy Chase club. That's been the hardest for us. Our kids don't notice the difference between our house or cars and friends houses or cars or vacations. But they feel left out cuz many (most) of their friends are skating at Chevy in the winter and swimming in the summer. Hard to arrange play dates. They get invited along as guests once in a while but it is not the same and also highlights the fact that we are on the outside looking in.

Then I am disappointed in the country club parents. We belong to a club and my kid's best buddy at school does not so we always invite him for play dates. Parents who are members of clubs should be sensitive to the fact that not all want to join or can join a club. My son did ask at an early age why some friends from school are not at the club and I said they like to do to other things on the weekends and not everybody likes to do the same things. I always tell my kids if we all did the same thing then that would boring. If he wants his friend to come, he can always invite him. I always see a ton of kids with friends that are non members at our club. Those that have should share and not exclude others.

Our child is invited often but it is not the same as belonging. You have to be invited and sometimes (like this weekend) when you are running out of activities and you wish your kid could have a play date - but no one is around and you haven't been invited to the club, it's a bummer. The parents who belong know that lots of friends are almost always at the club so they don't really have to think - hey let's call a friend to bring along.

Then join a church or something! What the hell? The adults without money are probably more damn whiny than the kids. Run out of things to do? You can't come up with some family things to do that don't involve others? Museums? Zoo? Park? Day trips to Philly? Like seriously give me a break. Sounds like what you crave is spending time with rich people...and how sad is that?!!

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked. I come from a European country and I am profoundly shocked. From this posts, it appears that in the US you are basically what you have. I have friends who are real estate agents, personal assistants. I come from a wealthy aristocratic family. My friends come from a diverse and broad variety of background (that is ehat happens when the best tertisry education is public). I will never, or had never, looked down any of my friends /or better, anyone for the money they have. On the contrary. I, for example, admire my housekeeper. She had 11 children in a rural village of Ecuador, in an abusive marriage, and was able to migrate to my country and -over the years- naturalize and bring all her kids there. One has a substantial disability. She was able to find him a job. Two of her children are going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in the country -while they clean houses and work as part-time nannies to support their living. I truly admire this hardworking woman.
I have family members who believe working -really- is kind of shameful for their status (a minority of them, basically one or two). I don't admire them at all, nor does most of our society. How does having money make you a better person or more worthy -yes I mean worthy- to society? There are true mean and twisted people with and without money. I think being a loser is having so much focus on what people have rather on how they are, not being a hard-working real estate agent.

I am shocked that you would spew such nonsense. I know plenty of Europeans - way more classist and elitist than any Americans I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked. I come from a European country and I am profoundly shocked. From this posts, it appears that in the US you are basically what you have. I have friends who are real estate agents, personal assistants. I come from a wealthy aristocratic family. My friends come from a diverse and broad variety of background (that is ehat happens when the best tertisry education is public). I will never, or had never, looked down any of my friends /or better, anyone for the money they have. On the contrary. I, for example, admire my housekeeper. She had 11 children in a rural village of Ecuador, in an abusive marriage, and was able to migrate to my country and -over the years- naturalize and bring all her kids there. One has a substantial disability. She was able to find him a job. Two of her children are going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in the country -while they clean houses and work as part-time nannies to support their living. I truly admire this hardworking woman.
I have family members who believe working -really- is kind of shameful for their status (a minority of them, basically one or two). I don't admire them at all, nor does most of our society. How does having money make you a better person or more worthy -yes I mean worthy- to society? There are true mean and twisted people with and without money. I think being a loser is having so much focus on what people have rather on how they are, not being a hard-working real estate agent.

Typical aristocrat who thinks she BFF with her housekeeper. Wait isn't there a movie about that?

As soon as all the refugees start flooding their public schools, the white Europeans will be pulling their kids and moving them to private.

Some European nations actually give students a constitutional right to attend any private school at public expense. Many developing countries also find ways, even with more limited resources, to give parents and students choice. For example, most Western democracies provide partial or full funding for non-government schools chosen by parents; the United States (apart from a few scattered and small-scale programs) is the great exception, along with Greece. Please, reeaaaaddddddd!

And many of those countries are experiencing record unemployment rates and collapsing economies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but I don't really think of attorney jobs at the DOJ as public service jobs where you are making a big sacrifice to serve your country. I've worked in Big Law and I have friends at the DOJ/FTC/SEC etc. and once people have families, almost everybody who isn't a partner wants a government job because the lifestyle is just more conducive to a real family life, the pace is slower, there are fewer crazy clients asking weird things of you on your weekend time, and you're still making >$100K.

DOJ etc. attorney jobs are in very high demand by very smart people -- it's not like you're teaching science in Appalachia. If you have to hold your nose so much to perform your DOJ job -- it's such a tremendous personal sacrifice to work for $130K a year, get every other Friday off, telecommute, and spend quality time with your family -- I suggest that you quit your job and get that high salary job in Big Law you've been secretly dreaming about, and give someone else a chance at yours, because many would take it and be quite good at it.

You people are nuts! Hold my nose? I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's the only thing I have ever wanted to do! And maybe your friends telecommute every week and whatever other perks that you think makes its a cushy job, but that's not my reality. When you start prosecuting drug rings, rap soars and murders come back and tell me about how easy I supposedly have it. The real issue with all of you is how dare I an attorney have the nerves to ask for financial aid.
Who care whether my financial situation actually supports it, right? It's just how dare I an attorney of all things not feel ashamed to need FA.
And give me a damn break $130K is not comparable to $300K. And dream
Of a job at big law. Don't kid yourself...it's not everyone's dream...graduating in the top 10% of my class at a top 20 I certainly could have had big law if I ever wanted it. Imagine some of us don't dream of being a partner at a firm...

Welcome to the middle class squeeze. You are not eligible for FA.

Actually I am...LOL. What's interesting is how many people assume they know who is qualified and who isn't. FA at IS isn't based just on gross income...and some schools are a lot more generous than others based on their philosophies, endowment fund, and ultimately who they want to be a part of the school.
FA at IS in no way mirror FA in college. There are no federal guidelines dictating what the formula.
Most IS don't even have a salary cutoff for eligibility (please read up post where poster said her HI was almost $300K and they receive some
assistance). Unlike most who get the bulk of their information from
This forum I've actually had indepth conversations with the schools I am applying to, their award process and what financial pictures they take into account. I've also talked to the families who receive aid and asked what's the best way to go about applying. So while you all may think "oh no way..." I can count on more than my two hands families whose circumstances and awards dictate otherwise.

These families are not beloved at private. We know who you are. Full pay parents who have sacrificed by working and earning the money for private don't love those who "have their reasons" that they get a free ride.

Actually, NO, you don't know. Twice I've had administrators make remarks indicating that they think we receive aid - or want it. Neither was true; we paid full tuition - in advance, no payment plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to do this to yourself?

+1 sounds like child cruelty. Is the education really worth damaging a child's feeling of self worth?
Not sure if pretending it makes children strong and resilient Would be worth it to me.

Thanks for the morning laugh. I'm reading it as sarcasm cuz it's hilarious, PP.

"Child cruelty"? Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Yes, child cruelty. If you put a kid of the lower middle class in an elitist environment and expect him to wear hand me downs with pride, that's cruel. If you are poor I would say go for it, there is no room for pretending. You want to better your life and this could be your golden opportunity. For kids with middle class backgrounds I know many cases where the kids took it the hard way.

It's like going to a Goldman interview with a suit from Kohl's.

So look at the ISs with uniforms...they're out there.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends in the kid. My parents bought the proverbial worst house in the best neighborhood (for the schools), so my sister and I had the "have not" experience even though we went to public school.

She hated it. She really cared that we didn't have the same brand sneakers or jeans that our classmates did.

I didn't care at all. That stuff was just not in my radar.

Same situation, same parents, same upbringing, difference experiences. Know your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it really depends in the kid. My parents bought the proverbial worst house in the best neighborhood (for the schools), so my sister and I had the "have not" experience even though we went to public school.

She hated it. She really cared that we didn't have the same brand sneakers or jeans that our classmates did.

I didn't care at all. That stuff was just not in my radar.

Same situation, same parents, same upbringing, difference experiences. Know your kid!

Well said! Know your kid.