The game and Alpha/Beta

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever happened to just being cool?

society told them that instead of being cool, they need to be sensitive and "nice". Unfortunately, that makes women dry as the Mojave Desert.

Oh no, they just get dry around you. It's not a widespread problem

I developed my perception that women liked assholes in middle school and high school -- much lesser extent in college.

Was that perception just always wrong or is it just a growing up thing girls do?
When you women were in high school and middle school, did the guys you giggled and past notes about treat other (weaker) kids nicely, or did they tend to be bullies?

It was always wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There was a girl who worked in a museum I frequented who I really liked. young, great body, exuded sex appeal.

I asked her out a couple of times and she declined. I would go to this museum every week alone.

Later on I was dating three women casually and would bring them (on separate weekends) off and on to the museum with with me.

The musem worker girl was utterly jealous that I wouldn't make small talk and flirt with her anymore and instead she saw me enjoying myself with these other women.

After about 3 months of seeing me with with these other ladies, one day I went to the museum alone. The museum worker girl cornered me before closing and forced a kiss on me and we later had sex that night at her place.

Social proof is not a big thing for guys - we don't care if a woman has tons of guy friends or not. Women absolutely do care if men they are interested in also interest other women.

If it is a toxic idea that a value of a man is determined by his relationships to women, it is mostly women who drive that idea. After college, most guys won't care/tease/break balls of other guys who are in a dry spell or are striking out

Exactly my point. Social validation is everything to women and those who argue it isn't are the rare exception to the rule.

There's life beyond 23 years old, just FYI. I dated women when I was 18-25 to avoid all of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also find valuable the notion of taking "shit tests" in stride. In my former marriage, I used to do whatever I could to appease my ex-wife, and it didn't do anything to solve the discord, or had negative effects. Now I'm more likely to call a spade a spade. I don't know if it makes me more endearing, but I certainly don't feel anymore like I'm sacrificing a piece of my soul or my integrity.

You could always try, y'know, marrying someone whose thoughts and opinions you respect because you think they're fundamentally solid at thinking things through?

When my wife is pissed off at me, it's usually because I fucked up. If I disagree, I make it clear that I disagree, and we talk it out. But most of the time, if she's pissed off at me (which is fairly rare), her reasons are valid; if her reasoning were constantly faulty, why would I marry someone like that?

[Anonymous]

People aren't always so rational. Sometimes a spouse "disagrees" because they are having a bad day, can't take their emotions out on the real culprit, and shit rolls downhill to you. Having a calm, rational discussion doesn't really address that particular problem because you aren't the true problem.

Pushing back on them sometimes gives the person boundaries they find emotionally calming.