Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe anyone does not know that this OP is a troll. I don't know how I can take any advice on this board knowing how gullible y'all are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe anyone does not know that this OP is a troll. I don't know how I can take any advice on this board knowing how gullible y'all are.

[Anonymous]

I so agree with PP. The people on this board are so easily trolled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

I hate to break it to you, but, no, adultery is not a crime.

[Anonymous]

I think you're likely a troll, OP, but since it's a slow night in my house, I'll bite.

Technically, I agree with you. You are not the one breaking vows. You're just having relations with a willing partner in a way that is working for you today. You're not witnessing any hurt so for you, nothing hurtful is going on.

But.

You are doing something that, if discovered by his wife, could devastate her and her family and children in a permanent way. You are contributing to something that can cause pain to another person, and you know it.

That's the part I can't get past. In my life, I try really hard to conduct myself in a way that doesn't cause pain to another. Do I do things that can cause pain? Sure, probably. Humans hurt humans. But I don't willfully engage in behavior that I know will cause pain to anyone. It just doesn't seem like an honorable way to live.

Maybe you don't care about being honorable. That's fair.

So, let's look at it from your perspective. Sure, things are working for you now, but the longer you stay in this relationship, the more likely your feelings will grow and solidify and you may find yourself wanting more. More time. More attention. A future. You will never get that in this relationship. You will always be an amusement. You will always be second best. And, if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you, and someday, that will cause you pain.

Maybe you don't care about that either. Maybe you will always be someone who doesn't mind being second place and will just move on from married man to married man. In that case, I don't know what to tell you. Women like you exist and will always be available for men who want to cheat.

--single woman enjoys plenty of male attention but shows married men the door and sleeps well at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

I hate to break it to you, but, no, adultery is not a crime.

In many states, including VA, it is a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

I hate to break it to you, but, no, adultery is not a crime.

In many states, including VA, it is a crime.

Same goes in MD.....and it can be a factor in a divorce case if one can prove it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

I hate to break it to you, but, no, adultery is not a crime.

In many states, including VA, it is a crime.

Same goes in MD.....and it can be a factor in a divorce case if one can prove it.

That doesn't make it a crime. It's a civil issue.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with what you are doing, OP.

The guy who is married is the one who should be faulted. It is on him ........

From your standpoint as long as you realize that you likely will not have a future with him then you are both in a relationship that suits your respective goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this when I was in my 20s. I loved him and ultimately it was very destructive. You seem okay with the arrangement, though. I will say that back then I had little empathy for his wife, and now I feel very badly for her. Their marriage had suffered as a result of fertility struggles, which I could not understand at the time. Now that I'm going through the same thing I see the strain it puts on a relationship and I realize how selfish my affair partner was for cheating.

Karma's a bitch. Isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not committing a crime that can be prosecuted in this country. But... Are you being kind, classy, or smart? No.

Adultery isn't a crime? That is what he is committing.

I hate to break it to you, but, no, adultery is not a crime.

In many states, including VA, it is a crime.

Same goes in MD.....and it can be a factor in a divorce case if one can prove it.

That doesn't make it a crime. It's a civil issue.

No, it's actually a crime. It cannot be prosecuted directly because of the SC decision in the Lawrence v Texas case.

[Anonymous]

I don't even understand how an " adult" doesn't know the answer to this. Of course it's wrong to sleep without someone's spouse. Do you have any morals? Clearly not. The only thing worse than a cheater betraying their spouse, is a man/woman who gets involved with a married person. Enjoy your life, home wrecker. Clearly that won't be hard since you have no conscious.

[Anonymous]

In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

[Anonymous]

I'm a married man who has cheated with a married woman. Once you get past the guild of it, everything else falls into place. If your spouse doesn't have the same sex drive as you, but everything else about your lives together mesh, then it's a matter of personal opinion if it's right or not.