Reply to Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?

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Reply to "Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you're likely a troll, OP, but since it's a slow night in my house, I'll bite.

Technically, I agree with you. You are not the one breaking vows. You're just having relations with a willing partner in a way that is working for you today. You're not witnessing any hurt so for you, nothing hurtful is going on.

But.

You are doing something that, if discovered by his wife, could devastate her and her family and children in a permanent way. You are contributing to something that can cause pain to another person, and you know it.

That's the part I can't get past. In my life, I try really hard to conduct myself in a way that doesn't cause pain to another. Do I do things that can cause pain? Sure, probably. Humans hurt humans. But I don't willfully engage in behavior that I know will cause pain to anyone. It just doesn't seem like an honorable way to live.

Maybe you don't care about being honorable. That's fair.

So, let's look at it from your perspective. Sure, things are working for you now, but the longer you stay in this relationship, the more likely your feelings will grow and solidify and you may find yourself wanting more. More time. More attention. A future. You will never get that in this relationship. You will always be an amusement. You will always be second best. And, if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you, and someday, that will cause you pain.

Maybe you don't care about that either. Maybe you will always be someone who doesn't mind being second place and will just move on from married man to married man. In that case, I don't know what to tell you. Women like you exist and will always be available for men who want to cheat.

--single woman enjoys plenty of male attention but shows married men the door and sleeps well at night.[/quote]

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