Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Is it even called redshirting if you do it for a kid who is well old enough to start? Isn't it just holding him back a year at that point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For birthdays -- celebrate them late, in September.

If someone outright asks you when he was born (not for any official reason) lie and say September. It's the easiest way to deal with this issue.

How long should OP's DC lie about his birthday? For K, or for all of his elementary grades, or his entire K-12 career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it even called redshirting if you do it for a kid who is well old enough to start? Isn't it just holding him back a year at that point?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I think your reasoning is just crazy. You don't seem to mention any real justification for redshirting your may birthday. I started school at 5 with an August birthday, my brother started school at 4 with a late November birthday. We both did fine.

When does this end? If everyone with May/June/July/August birthdays decide to redshirt will then all the April birthdays redshirt? Why should they go to school with kids more than a year older than them? Then what will the March kids do? Do you see the problem? I think the counties/state need to step up and put in some requirements for when a child starts K.

I think at some point, OP, your child will be embarrassed to be more than a year older than other kids in class. Everyone knows it is common with early fall birthdays, but when your kid turns 15 in eight grade than all the other kids will notice.

He would turn 15 at the end of the school year, a few months before other fall birthday kids heading into 9th grade turn 15.

In any given class, you will have a student who is a year older than the youngest, even without redshirting. There are 12 months in a year - someone born on the very last day before cutoff and someone born the day after cutoff will be 12 months apart. Is adding in a few extra months to that span really a disaster?

In grade school I had a friend who was nearly a whole year older than me. It never was a big deal. I don't think I thought about it once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I did something questionable. I'm wondering how to spin-it"

That's your post.

I love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I did something questionable. I'm wondering how to spin-it"

That's your post.

I love you.

Best comment ever.

[Anonymous]

I am only doing bc my child did not like being younger and hated hearing all year long how he was still 4 while others were 5 most of the year. Also, the director at his current school is strongly pro redshirting and suggests it for boys, even April. Actually, she doesn't use any month as a cutoff. Lastly my son never did a full-day and he isn't ready for a full-day yet. He's also very innocent and kind/gentle- he doesn't hit or name-call and he's very compassionate.. so I didn't think I needed to worry about him turning into a bully. He usually helps younger children or new children and his teacher said she thought his citizenship skills were his strongest attribute. She said another year would improve his fine motor skills and give him another year to play and mature (he is a class clown and doesn't sit still). As a mom, it makes me feel good to know that if there is a bully in the class, he/she likely won't be older than m child and won't be able to hurt him/her.

By making this your primary reason for holding him back, you are putting the entire "blame" on him and absolving yourself of any responsibility for the consequences. Your child is five years old. You are the adult, and you need to make the decision that YOU feel is best for your child. To say the "only" reason (although then you list some other equally weak ones) you are doing it is because he did not like being the youngest is to put this important decision in the hands of someone who is in no way capable of making it in an informed way. Being upset that the other kids turned five first is a very four/five-year-old attitude. Do you think he would continue to be mad about it when the others turn six, seven, twelve, eighteen, before he does? This decision should be based on the long haul, because it will affect him throughout his school career. You go on to list his teacher as another reason--again, shifting the responsibility to somebody else. Given the way you describe her, it seems she would never have advising you to send him on time, so why consider her opinion when it appears to come with no consideration at all for the alternative of what she advised?

I'm a kindergarten teacher, and when she asked for my opinion, I encouraged my sister to redshirt my August nephew (now going into 2nd grade, seems to have been the right decision) because he was socially immature, still took a nap on occasion and was (and still is) a very small child. Academically, he was probably ready for K at at 5. As it is, he's usually in the highest reading group, but socially and physically he is on track with his "younger" (some by only a few weeks) grade-level peers.

Again, you need to decide what you need to do and ignore the haters, so to speak. But I urge you to make the decision based on what you believe is ultimately what is best for your son, not because of his opinions, what he likes/doesn't like, and what his very-pro-redshirting-with-no-regard-for-age teacher thinks. He has strong citizenship skills and is very innocent? Great, sounds like most of the five-year-old boys in my classroom. He would be able to make some great friends and be a good example to others. Let me tell you, from my experience, those citizenship skills can disappear pretty fast when a tall seven-year-old is being teased--not necessarily by his actual classmates--for still being in kindergarten. Younger children can also bully older children, so I would advise against assuming his age and size will protect him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I decided to redshirt my child who was born in May. I was originally staunchly opposed but our last year of prek changed my mind. We had 4 redshirts in the class and my observations and experiences showed me it would be better for my child to be older than younger.

This is not going to be a debate on redshirting, but rather I want to know if you are asked questions or if you are ever asked about your child's age. If you are, how do you handle it? I was hoping it would be a nonissue. I know my son has friends that are 3, 4, 5, 6, and even 8 and 9! I didn't think it would matter to other families if I let my child go to preschool twice. I don't feel like explaining my reasoning for our family decision to every parent who may press the issue on me.

I am not ashamed of my child and want to feel natural and good about his school experience. My child is bright and excels in math and sports. He can compete athletically with children 10 months older and in math he is doing 1st grade work. I am not giving him another year of prek because he is slow or isn't athletically inclined.

I am only doing bc my child did not like being younger and hated hearing all year long how he was still 4 while others were 5 most of the year. Also, the director at his current school is strongly pro redshirting and suggests it for boys, even April. Actually, she doesn't use any month as a cutoff. Lastly my son never did a full-day and he isn't ready for a full-day yet. He's also very innocent and kind/gentle- he doesn't hit or name-call and he's very compassionate.. so I didn't think I needed to worry about him turning into a bully. He usually helps younger children or new children and his teacher said she thought his citizenship skills were his strongest attribute. She said another year would improve his fine motor skills and give him another year to play and mature (he is a class clown and doesn't sit still). As a mom, it makes me feel good to know that if there is a bully in the class, he/she likely won't be older than m child and won't be able to hurt him/her.

Although most of the children significantly older were kind to my child- two were cruel. My child had rocks thrown at him and had his hair cut during craft-time. He was called names and so on. My child tried to fight them and did well with the one but the age advantage was just too much. I realized I don't like aggressive kids with power over my kid. I'd rather my child be older. I don't have to worry about my child being mean and if he ever is- I will discipline him bc I will not tolerate a bad boy! Trying to raise a good church-boy here. His morality and character are even more important to me than his intelligence or athletic ability. I noticed the older aggressive children influenced my child to be slightly less nice/kind and I didn't like the effect it had on him. We prayed about it and I got him to forgive the children but I could see it was hard for him to hold back.

My concern is with our new school community - a mother commented my child was fast and good at soccer- she then said her son was born in November and how she wished she could have sent him earlier and she lamented he had to wait a while year to go to school. Her son was not very physical and had trouble even using the playground equipment. She then asked me what month my son was born in and I said May. She then said, "Oh so he must have turned 4 in May then? She was just pressing the issue even though it was apparent I wanted to end the conversation.

I don't want to share everything I just shared on this post with new parents or even new friends. I'd rather other parents just not ask or def not grill me about it. How can I do this? How do I do birthdays? I like having big birthdays and I still want to proud when my child turns 6, 7, 8, etc thoughout his school career. Should I try to hide his age or just have a short quick answer ready? I was thinking of saying we might move back to a state I grew up in- which now has a 31 July cutoff. I thought about mentioning my son was bon early by csection (true).

I just really don't want to go into this long explanation about our personal experiences. At the same time I don't want other parents to think ill of my child or me. Some people are very opposed to redshirting.

What are you blabbering on about? DD just finished PK4. Class of 19 and looking at the birthday list there are 9 kids who will turn 5 between June 1 and Sept 30. Are you sure kids were teasing your kid? Sounds like you are projecting. Own your decision. Stop posting here about it.

[Anonymous]

Can't the school's just stop this and say there is a cutoff. Your child will enter with the correct class uses there is a special need? Am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For birthdays -- celebrate them late, in September.

If someone outright asks you when he was born (not for any official reason) lie and say September. It's the easiest way to deal with this issue.

How long should OP's DC lie about his birthday? For K, or for all of his elementary grades, or his entire K-12 career?

Until people stop asking about it, I guess. I honestly don't see what is such a big deal about when the kid's birthday is. Mine are in middle school now and no one really cares how old kids are -- at least we don't talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't the school's just stop this and say there is a cutoff. Your child will enter with the correct class uses there is a special need? Am I missing something?

If your kid has a special need, even more reason to send them.

[Anonymous]

You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

[Anonymous]

In the end it is your decision, but your reasons are not compelling to me. You should send him on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. I turned 18 a few weeks after I started college. I'm really thankful my parents didn't hold me back and I have a Late September birthday.